They're living in an unideal, not helpful, traumatiZing situation and their move has been indefinitely cancelled. I offered my home for the third time. They said I was a last resort because of where I live. Everyone I've offered this help to says no. Idk if I'm really unbearable and my friends just don't tell me so I only get the ones who want to suck me dry to accept it. Whatever. I want to just tell them I need a break from people and not talk to them, finding out I'm a last resort. Feels like I'm finding out I'm not my best friends best friend. I'm hurt.
Want avoid my best friend
- Post starter JudeWest
- Start date
arfie
Diamond Member
total empathy, jude. balancing my unconventional social conditioning with the mysteries of friendship remains a challenge to me. my desperate need for social acceptance collides with handicap in drawing healthy boundaries on a distressingly routine basis. am i talking to a friend or a co-dependent? after decades of therapy, i am still not sure i know the diff until i am a drained and bleeding piece of abandoned roadkill on the byways of life. my most used coping tool for this heartbreaking snot knot is to reject before i can be rejected, just before i run off to isolate like a beaten crazy bitch wolf. do not disturb. the bitch's bite is meaner than her bark.
the step i am currently working in this conundrum is to recognize when i am rejecting before i can be rejected and to seek support from my therapy network instead of isolating. i am working in small bytes while being gentle with myself and patient with the healing process.
the step i am currently working in this conundrum is to recognize when i am rejecting before i can be rejected and to seek support from my therapy network instead of isolating. i am working in small bytes while being gentle with myself and patient with the healing process.
- Post starter
- #3
I resisted my instincts and admitted what I was doing and what hurt me and we worked it out they didn't mean it like that at all and explained what they meant. I think I did good
arfie
Diamond Member
yup, you done good. might i suggest a little celebration dance to mark the progress? i find that pausing to celebrate the progress makes the next step easier and more effective.
old habits die hard. be gentle with yourself and patient with the process.
old habits die hard. be gentle with yourself and patient with the process.
- Post starter
- #5
Yeah. They have PTSD too and we talked about how we both tend to do the same thing we basically hugged it out. I'm proud of myself. Its something to tell my therapist whenever I see her
I am healed
New Here
Hey u did really well. Sometimes I take things personally too. It is better to clarify with the person in question. It can be hard to be vulnerable and ask them about it. U r doing a great job. When you are free maybe u can journal asking yourself “what made you think they were avoiding you and how it made you feel?”
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