Lost therapist feel so done suicide is right

[AJ45]

I dont know what to do anymore. I was barely holding on before and now i have lost my therapist out of the blue. All i can think about it suicide and that its the right thing to do. its the only thing that will end the darkness and constant pain.

I always feel like jumping out of my own skin. I dont function even though i want to and know i should. Its like my brain doesnt work properly, i cant even remeber things short term wise.

I just want it to all be over. I know that its either suicide or hospital that will help. Its ironic that i fear the hospital more than i do suicide. its like i rather committ suicide then go to hospital.

 

[ladee]

Sounds like you are aware you have options... truly hope you choose going to the hospital... sending lots of healing energy your way. It's a horrible place to be in... but very grateful I never followed thru... gentle hugs.

 

[EveHarrington]

Please go to the hospital if that’s what you need. Hugs.

 

[AJ45]

Why is it so hard to do what we need, scary? I dont understand why im so scared of that option....

 

[Deleted member 37474]

Take a moment to consider what you said about your brain. It is like it isn’t working right. To me, that leans towards the hospital plan. It is probably off balance body chemistry. My T once told me about how the brain chemistry changes in people with depression. It actually messes up their rational thought patterns. Doctors fix that with medicine and counseling. All stuff that you get at the hospital. Because your stituation seems medically based on what you just said in your post, I think that suicide is a horrible choice to consider. You are scared because hospitals and unknowns are scary. I really think you will be okay, though. You just have to give the hospital a chance.

 

[Freida]

Listen to @TexCat --- she is right about how it's your brain malfunctioning more than your heart wanting to die. At least give them a chance to get it re-wired so it works like it should. I can understand hating the idea of going to a hospital but it gives you that chance to fix it without resorting to a final thing you can't come back from....

 

[AJ45]

Take a moment to consider what you said about your brain. It is like it isn’t working right. To me,...

im just so tired and exhausted its not like life pauses. when i think about suicide every problem goes away the struggle pain financial darkness memories. and currently trying meds it just feels like im running out of time. suicide thoughts planning is too strong.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

Do you live alone? I don’t think that you need to pause and think and try meds. You need to walk into the hospital and let the doctors take care of it.

 

[EveHarrington]

Please go to the hospital!

 

[AJ45]

Do you live alone? I don’t think that you need to pause and think and try meds. You need to walk int...

yes. And i see what your saying.

 

[ladee]

Usually , for me, when suicide was an option, I really needed RELIEF, and because when we are in a state of mind of constant pain and confusion, we think in black and white... all or nothing... we are all hoping that you choose the hospital.. it will give you a much needed break from being hammered by life. Give your body and brain a much needed and deserved break.... it's ok to be afraid.... real courage is being afraid and doing it anyway... and I do believe you have that kind of courage... you reached out... and we hear you... pretty sure all of us have been right where you are... and we do understand and there is no judgement about your thinking... we all know how easy it is to let our brain lead us places we really didn't want to go...

And happy to see you still around, and giving your self an opportunity to see things a little differently... it's such a permanent solution to temporary problems.... we know it can change, so we are hoping you at least give yourself a chance to try the hospital option.

Sending the energy to help you save your own life... it does have meaning and it does have purpose... you just have to stick around for those things to be realized... you are brave for sharing with us... you are not alone.

 

[Kopykat]

I’m very sorry you’re in this place and hurting so much. The hospital can seem scary bc of the stigma associated and bc of the unknown but I can assure you the people are there to help you. They are prepared to see you through your worst and help you get back on your feet. This isn’t your fault and it’s completely ok to ask for help. I know it’s scary. I was terrified when I did it, I was more terrified of the hospital than dying but eventually I’m glad I went. Please take care of yourself and know we are here for you.