Relationship Loving Combat Ptsd Sufferer

[Sighs]

I am starting to realise that loving my vet is like loving someone with a potentially fatal heart condition. Things can be fine for days, weeks even. Then - out of nowhere - he has an attack. For some minor "offence" or just because he feels worthless he'll decide the relationship is over. So far I've been able to talk him down each time. I'm so so frightened that one day he will leave and I'll never see him again. I'm trying really hard to live day by day enjoying what we have and accepting that nothing lasts forever - even the best relationships end when one partner dies. Some days I just want to crawl into a ball, fall asleep and never wake up.

 

[Justmehere]

:hug: My heart goes out to you.

 

[KwanYingirl]

It is a challenge and a half when you love someone with PTSD. Take good care of your own needs and be willing to just lose days now and then. Hopefully he's got a psychiatrist and trauma therapist.

Things can get better if he commits to working through this. Take care.

 

[Rebecca12]

@Sighs I went/am currently going through that same situation. What I've come to realize is that you have to make yourself a priority. You can't sit around waiting for the ball to drop: go out (with or without him), reconnect with friends, do things that make you happy. It's so easy to get caught up in his problems that you forget that you have to live your life. Keep the good times close to help you get through the bad.

I wish you the best. :hug:

 

[Orion87]

I go through this more often than I would like with my vet. He seems to snap, kind of how you are describing, and even if we spent the whole evening talking about our future and maybe getting married and having a real heart to heart conversation, if he gets triggered things fall apart very quickly. However, what may be different for me is that, while I may have to 'talk him down' the next day, he feels awful for losing it. He was single for 14 years before we started dating (15 mo ago), so he's just not practiced in a lot of relationship aspects (like making up after a fight) but he tries really hard. We've had 3 fights last MONTH where one or other of us stormed out. That's a lot. We've had months long stretches with no fights either. And even if we have a bad fight, and I have to come around to patch things up, I know that's what he wants in the end.

He just doesn't know how to start the approach.

I guess the reason I'm sharing this with you is because your story sounds really familiar. That extreme yo-yo between bliss and utter fear - but I trust, from my personal experiences with my boyfriend (veteran with PTSD) that he loves me in the end. And our relationship is so wonderful that it is always worth the fight. And I hope you and your man can work things out, and maybe decide, at the very least, that you love each other no matter what. No. Matter. WHAT

Good luck :)