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Loving Someone With Ptsd

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He probably does care about you. And he most likely appreciates feeling loved and cared for. But yes, people with ptsd do have tendencies to isolate, detach, become numb when overwhelmed (see cup illustration). Even though to the supporter it is easy to see only benefits tothe rrelationship. But to him it can be exhausting and an added stressor that affects other areas of his life indirectly. Its so very hard to know when to stand firm by his side and when to let go. I have struggled with that as well. After having my heart crushed several times I have finally learned to follow his lead. If he isn't interacting, don't push. It only adds stress and does the opposite of your intentions. It will be the opposite of everything you heart tells you to do. It will hurt. But if you care about him follow his lead, even if it means letting him go for a while
 
Ok. Here is my story. My guy and I were acquaintances before we actually started seeing each other 2 mo...
Oh boy do I know how you feel, my guy is PTSD with anxiety attributed to other factors not military. But nonetheless does get distant at times. I've met him 2 1/2 months ago and we go from laughing acting like kooks, very playful and then all the sudden without warning he shuts me out telling me he can't count on me and all kinds of things that really hurt
Deep in my heart I know it is the condition. I love him more than life itself, my son who is autistic adores him. So what I try to do is give him his space until moods conditions subside. I stay because I love him and deep down based on different things he says and does I know he loves me. Have faith gf. If you feel in your gut that he is the one. Stick with him. Because even though he thinks he doesn't, he does
Anytime you want to chat let me know
Kim
 
I am new to site but I recently went through a similar situation with my boyfriend. For a couple of weeks, he seemed distant and barely touched me in person. I asked if he needed space and he insisted nothing has changed, so rather than overanalyze (which I do alot) I continued to communicate as though nothing changed.
A week later, he shared that he was having dosage changes on his sleeping pills and his mood stabilizers and it was impacting his behavior. Shortly after things were back to normal.
If your guy recently saw a therapist 20 days ago he could be going through something similar because it can take up to 3 wks to get adjusted to some meds.
 
@hangingon, thank you for your reply. Yes, he does tend to isolate himself a lot. I am a very emotional and sensitive person and sometimes I get lost in my own feelings, trying to explore if I have done anything to cause him to withdraw from me. He does tell me to not take the distance personally. I try very hard to stay focused because I love him and I want to understand and be there for him if I can. I have come to understand that sometimes being there for him means giving him lots of space. That is not easy for me, but I realize that he needs that and I want to do what is best for our relationship. I get insecure sometimes and feel scared. I do know he has a lot to contend with and sometimes I can't do anything to make it better. All I can do is let him come back to me and always make him feel safe and welcomed.
 
@Bfab - thank you so much for sharing!! Yes, I did see some behavioral changes in my loved one too. He acted kind of cold. I did question him, asked if anything had changed in him towards me and he said that I shouldn't be taking his difficulties personally. I can't even describe how tough it can be sometimes. I remember sitting with him on a sofa and putting my arms around him and he wouldn't touch me. He was distant and 'not there'. I feel more relaxed now as I feel like I have more understanding as to what's going on and won't try to overthink in the future.
 
@Kimberly Bogaczyk - thank you for your encouraging words! It gets so lonely sometimes. I never want to burden anybody with my struggles but I am the first one to confess that I need the support of others and also want to offer some encouragement to those who may need it.
I love this man. It is so hard sometimes and I find myself guarding my heart sometimes. It is so not me. I don't want to guard my heart when I genuinely love someone so deeply. However, being a very emotional person that I am, I must do something to stop being hurt by things that I shouldn't be hurt by. I should put emotions aside at times because it's a difficult place to be if you're not ready to extend understanding, patience and grace to your loved one. I am doing the best I can. I break down sometimes and get lost in an emotional whirlpool but try to catch myself back and give it some time. Time helps but sometimes I just can't stand the distance.
 
Omg I know how you feel I am so much in an emotional whirlpool myself. I love him and he knows it. I know he loves and cares for me but seems I don't know kind of scared due to everything he has been thru. He's afraid to really let anyone get too close

I told him more often than not that I am here for the long haul.

I have been thru my own struggles myself so I understand to sone extent but I just wish he would let me in
I love him so much
 
@Kimberly Bogaczyk - yes, it is very difficult. I pretty much just let him initiate all the contact and conversation. I try not to push him or add any pressure as I know that can add stress to what is already going on with him. He has just recently come to terms with his condition. It is especially hard because he has spent a lot of time denying that he has any issues. It is definitely hard. Every time I see him I have the impression that he's trying hard to take that all in and just understand himself. He know I love him, he knows I want to be there for him and he knows he could tell me anything. He doesn't seem to share a lot at this point and that's ok. He needs to be able to understand himself before he is able to share anything with me. I wish I could do something to help but that's ok too. It is ok to feel that you can't fix something. I am not there to fix him, I just want to be supportive and loving whenever possible and sometimes I just need to accept that he needs to work through things alone. He will come back to me whenever he's ready. I won't give up on him.
 
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