I have been married 4 years to the man I consider my soul mate. We have a connection where we can finish each other’s sentences, laugh at the same dumb movies over and over, and create memories to last a lifetime. 85% of the time we rock! BUT, I have been told by my therapist, his “episodes” are PTSD. I told her he mentions abuse by his siblings very often and always gets “weird” after talking about it. He also gets “weird” out of the blue VERY often. It used to be only once or twice in a 6 month period, but now it is so often I am considering leaving him. Just as a side note, I see my therapist to help me with basic life stressors such as parenting issues of my daughter and self esteem. My husband has admitted being kept awake all night scrubbing floors by the siblings, some sexual abuse, burns and injuries, etc. by the siblings.
He gets an angry look on his face, gets withdrawn, pretends to be asleep on our couch until I go to bed and then gets up and watches TV and hangs out until late. He snaps at me and indicates I am “crazy” if I get upset about how he is acting. He will call me ten to fifteen times while I am at work and get offended if I say I can’t talk, but then he suddenly will go into a rage saying I smother him! I NEVER see it coming. My therapist has tried to help me recognize his triggers but he REFUSES help. He will literally leave the house if I suggest he get therapy or read a PTSD book!
I don’t know if I can continue in this relationship. It’s affecting me and my daughter from my previous marriage. It’s so often now I am starting to be able to predict triggers (they are daily!)!!! He will snap into these “weirdnesses” over things such as me asking him to go see a movie, coming on to him after he has already suggested sexual ideas (he will announce we will not make love loudly and angrily if I come on to him, even after saying earlier he wants me), if I call my parents and he can hear me having a normal conversation with them (he says he doesn’t know what a normal family is like and doesn’t want to hear mine), if I ask him if I look nice for a date night, etc. All very nice, normal daily occurrences in a marriage and he reacts as if I have shot the dog! I notice he will just breakdown and withdraw often as well. Christmas is the worst time of year. He literally becomes unbearable.
I might be over this. It borders on abuse of me. I am a caring, loving, fit, sexy, cheerful wife. I am a good mother and hard worker. I am in school to better our future as well as full time work and childrearing and being a wife. He will just lay around often. He goes in and out of depression. Why didn’t this show up when we met? I am angry I am in this situation. I offer help and get turned down. My therapist offered to see him for free and he became angry at me!
Help?
He gets an angry look on his face, gets withdrawn, pretends to be asleep on our couch until I go to bed and then gets up and watches TV and hangs out until late. He snaps at me and indicates I am “crazy” if I get upset about how he is acting. He will call me ten to fifteen times while I am at work and get offended if I say I can’t talk, but then he suddenly will go into a rage saying I smother him! I NEVER see it coming. My therapist has tried to help me recognize his triggers but he REFUSES help. He will literally leave the house if I suggest he get therapy or read a PTSD book!
I don’t know if I can continue in this relationship. It’s affecting me and my daughter from my previous marriage. It’s so often now I am starting to be able to predict triggers (they are daily!)!!! He will snap into these “weirdnesses” over things such as me asking him to go see a movie, coming on to him after he has already suggested sexual ideas (he will announce we will not make love loudly and angrily if I come on to him, even after saying earlier he wants me), if I call my parents and he can hear me having a normal conversation with them (he says he doesn’t know what a normal family is like and doesn’t want to hear mine), if I ask him if I look nice for a date night, etc. All very nice, normal daily occurrences in a marriage and he reacts as if I have shot the dog! I notice he will just breakdown and withdraw often as well. Christmas is the worst time of year. He literally becomes unbearable.
I might be over this. It borders on abuse of me. I am a caring, loving, fit, sexy, cheerful wife. I am a good mother and hard worker. I am in school to better our future as well as full time work and childrearing and being a wife. He will just lay around often. He goes in and out of depression. Why didn’t this show up when we met? I am angry I am in this situation. I offer help and get turned down. My therapist offered to see him for free and he became angry at me!
Help?
