Lurching From Crisis To Crisis

[shimmerz]

dropping me from classes at school, shutting off my utilities, filing bizarre taxes, changing my account info, accessing medical records, redirecting my mail... A crazy amount of our lives are online these days... And with name, mothers maiden, and social security number? It takes very little effort to tangle someone's life up but good. Just enter the relevant info, and reset passwords. Voila.

Oh holy lord mother mary of god jesus, Friday. I totally get this.

The problem with this is that the stress cup is full because someone is deliberately attempting to throw you down. You are still standing, but holy crap, no wonder it feels like chaos to you. This is engineered. Good job keeping up (and by that I mean expressing anything more than a 'mamma, dadda, googoo').

Nobody you know in any kind of higher ranking place who can catch that this stuff is going on? Proof?

 

[Ronin]

The problem with this is that the stress cup is full because someone is deliberately attempting to throw you down.

Which just reminded me of other thought though; who of the people that are pesters would be throwable down, instead? (Say is anyone of the stalker party turnable against the ex, persuasible to f*ck off in some fashion and their efforts are better laid off? Or similar works that'd help regain own agency, if anything is an option?)
Still reading/thinking.

 

[desiderata310]

As I think about all this, there should be enough resources that someone is savvy enough out there to find a way to make his electronic world miserable enough that he would be too busy fixin' his own shit to worry about yours. I dunno. But seriously, if we can't help eachother, what the hell else is this board good for?
If I had a clue how to do that, I would in a heartbeat. Someone out there does though, that's my guess.

 

[shimmerz]

Changes made through technological means are made from specific IP addresses. It is traceable where the changes have come from, it is just next to impossible to have anybody care to care. This is a tactic used by asshole freaking demented psychotic sadistic (add words here) all the time. It is incredibly simple to do if one has the know how or connections to do so.

 

[shimmerz]

Link Removed

I can't read this stuff as it relates to my old job and I still drop out when I get into this stuff so I can't say quality of material is good (or not). This is basically what it sounds like is happening to Friday though. It is torture like nothing else. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt and matching hat.

If you don't mind, can you let me know if there is anything helpful? What the date is? I noticed that there were 'terms' used that can be googled for more updated info if it is dated.

 

[desiderata310]

@shimmerz
The dates were old... and some of the articles ...dubious...

 

[shimmerz]

Shit. Sorry Friday. Let me see if I can find better. Really truly sorry this is happening to you. Thank you Desi.

 

[Friday]

Yep... Tech stalking is one of those things that "should" be easy enough to deal with legally (roflmao)... But while it's easy to prove it's happening? It's incrediably time consuming to prove who is doing it, if they have any skill whatsoever, to meet minimum legal standards of guilt. Was told by the local cyber-crimes dept that private investigations generally cost about 400k in man hours. S'why companies have whole departments dedicated to dealing with cyber crime or insurance to cover the investigation costs before bringing the evidence to the police/courts.

Local (city/metro) police do have a cyber crimes dept., but there's nowhere enough funding to look into every "domestic squabble" :rolleyes: But I get it. My ex is a senior DBA in telecom, it would be a huge effort to trace him. Goes into serious-hacker / NSA skill levels. So he'd be a very hard target. Meanwhile the police are completely overloaded with cases that either go beyond simple harassment into immediate threat to life (fair), and idiots who use their home phone or home computer and take 2 seconds to verify who is doing it... Not cloned phones and bounced IPs & oo7 nonsense. (Shrug. Life.). Yep. Everything he's doing is 12 kinds of illegal, but it's proving he's the one doing it beyond Occam's Razor / circumstantial evidence that becomes the issue.

State/Federal could possibly do it... But they're also at capacity. If it's not Child Porn, Bank Fraud, or Terrorism? It's not on their radar. Which I have to admit is also fair.

<laughing> There was a scene in a movie where one of the main characters paused for a moment to push a button on their phone ("Sorry my ex-wife has an important meeting this morning. I just needed to activate the anti-theft device in her car, and kill the engine.") and then they carried on with the scene... and I stood up and shouted "I HATE these guys!" In the middle of the theatre. Whoops.

Shit. Sorry Friday. Let me see if I can find better. Really truly sorry this is happening to you. Thank you Desi.

No worries. I've pretty much come to peace with the fact that there's nothing legally I can really do about his nonsense. I did get fed up and completely killed all my phone/computer access for 2 years. Computers are pretty easy, since he's in phones. I just need to make sure to never operate email on any device I own (key loggers & parental controls & other spyware were giving him my access codes, so he could tunnel in and mirror my system. Just like working remotely on your work computer from your home computer :p). So I can be online these days, easy peasy. It's just phones he has god-like access to.

Upside... It really is only one area (phones) he's super skilled at. It's not like I divorced the NSA, or a cop or anything.

Just one douchbag & his super annoying squad of teeeeeeny wiener friends.

It's just more added stress. But it's not as bad as it used to be. Helluva learning curve.

 

[desiderata310]

*SNORT*
Ah me... "Teeeeeeeny wiener friends"
@FridayJones you're seriously awesome.
Keep talking. We're here... and at least good for half witted advice.

 

[scout86]

He's not the problem, unfortunately, no matter how much better the world would be with one less asshole in it. I am. I need to learn how to handle this shit better.

So, we kind of have 2 problems and maybe a few related sub-problems?

I didn't know you had a diary either. I usually don't read them..... But hey, I've been reading "The Things They Carried" all weekend and THAT wasn't probably the best idea I've ever had. Maybe I'll go do some more reading.

So, there's a problem because you have PTSD and have the usual problems dealing with problems that go with that. But you also have a crazy mean ex who has nothing better to do with his time creating problems for you to have problems with? Have I got that right?

Just a thought on all the newfangled electronic stuff. If you live some place really SMALL, where people actually know you as a person, machines don't have quite so much control over the world. Might not be practical.

I've got to say, I like your attitude. But it DOES remind me of one of my T's funniest lines. "Yes, and wouldn't it be interesting if you actually believed that?" Maybe you do. But don't feel like you have to be brave and funny 100% of the time for OUR benefit. You're among friends and I think the deal with friends is they take turns having a bad time. You get to have your turn too, if and when you want one.

 

[desiderata310]

Agreed! Heaven knows I've taken my 'turn' here recently.
Turn about is fair play

 

[shimmerz]

but there's nowhere enough funding to look into every "domestic squabble"

Yes, I know. *heavy sigh*. I hate like hell to see it happening to you Friday.