Maintain Anger At Parents-or To Understand, Forgive, And Accept

[mamachick]

Just Me-I am very sorry for all that you have suffered and your deep dissapointment more recent.
I also now remember why I am such a skeptic when it comes to religion.
Too often I have seen that attitude of so called "christians" behave in the name of "religion" in a way that is most harmful to others.

I had an attorney repeatedly insinuate that I would not have had an accident and all the complications if I had not done something to anger God so. Even though his job was to get help me through the insurance system and get me diagnosis and treatment, instead he prayed with me. People use this as a way to feel superior to others. They use this to escape the responsibility that they need to take in their lives. They use it to enable them to stay the same and not address their stuff. It causes wars, why should we expect that it will not divide some families. My daughter was brain washed into a religion and now disowns her own family that she was very close to for first 17 years of life. It is very sad. It is sometimes very hard to make peace with the situation.

 

[Lionheart]

Brat,

I was able to forgive my parents when I realized that they were abused as children and had no real recourse to the kinds of professional help available to them that we have. It was like I was forgiving a whole generation or more for having been abused and having coped with it as best they could. Even I did some bad things to myself and was not good towards other people either when I was using *negative coping . *(drinking alcohol excessively, taking drugs, cutting, being unsafely promiscuous, unfaithful, verbally abusive, etc.).

When I came to understand their illness and how easily I could have turned out the same way without the professional help that I received, I forgave them. I am glad that I do not carry that pain and anger with me anymore!!!

 

[Kb3]

Brat,
When I came to understand their illness and how easily I could have turned out the same way without the professional help that I received, I forgave them. I am glad that I do not carry that pain and anger with me anymore!!!

Ditto:)

 

[mamachick]

Lion-I feel the same. My mother suffered severe depression and there was no effective meds for that back in the fifties.
"we cant solve the problems with the same thinking that created them" ? author
I have felt very fortunate to live in a time where there is so much help, although sometimes I have days where I dont feel hopeful, I try to remind myself it is temporary and it is my ptsd.

 

[just me here]

Thanks everyone. The worste part of what I am reading other people tell and what I am experiencing personally is the realisation that there were witnesses to the abuse, often the other parent. It's like their guilt was hidden by the anger toward the abuser, and when it is finally realised it comes on all at once, it's like I am catching up for 35 years of misplaced anger and feeling all of that towrds my dad at once. She is merely religious to the point of inhumanity to her fellow humans, he is guilty of being aware of the damage she causes and choosing to let someone else take the heat.

 

[Srain]

(((((((((((((FreakofNature))))))))))))