I’ve been depressed for two weeks, maybe more, maybe less, hard to keep track. I have PTSD from childhood trauma, and major depressive disorder. At first, I shrugged mdd and gad off as “Well PTSD has depression and anxiety, why do I have a whole two separate diagnosises for these?”. But lately, with my life NEAR perfect, started the job of my dreams (Sign language interpreter in elementary school) and I’m engaged (I will get married in about six weeks), you know, this depression isn’t related to my life at all. Not that it ever really was, but man I get blindsided when I get depressed. It’s the whole don’t eat, don’t sleep, drink too much coffee (free serotonin/dopamine), suicide ideation (no actual intention or desire just intrusive thoughts of killing myself), feeling numb, empty.
So what I mean to ask is how does MDD play off of PTSD?
I did notice that this past week was my dad and grandfather’s birthdays, (my dad abused me). Also March is historically a rough month for me, in past Marches I’ve been suicidal/elevated self harm, was fired, lots of triggers/flashbacks surrounding. Oh the f*cking elephant in the room that I somehow forget every year, I was molested in March as a child (timeline is likely screwed, my sister’s birthday is 03/27, and I know it was around the time she was born but I don’t know when the first time was out exactly details, since I was three years old) but I typically get flashbacks in March of being molested, so I have assumed whether true or false that that was when I was molested. It’s also common apparently. Did you know the most likely time of year for people to kill themselves in April?
Anyways, any insight would be appreciated, I’m drowning.
So what I mean to ask is how does MDD play off of PTSD?
I did notice that this past week was my dad and grandfather’s birthdays, (my dad abused me). Also March is historically a rough month for me, in past Marches I’ve been suicidal/elevated self harm, was fired, lots of triggers/flashbacks surrounding. Oh the f*cking elephant in the room that I somehow forget every year, I was molested in March as a child (timeline is likely screwed, my sister’s birthday is 03/27, and I know it was around the time she was born but I don’t know when the first time was out exactly details, since I was three years old) but I typically get flashbacks in March of being molested, so I have assumed whether true or false that that was when I was molested. It’s also common apparently. Did you know the most likely time of year for people to kill themselves in April?
Anyways, any insight would be appreciated, I’m drowning.
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