• We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
  • Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.

Male vs. female

  • Post starter Post starter Deleted member 37474
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
D

Deleted member 37474

Do traditional male/female roles affect treatment style and approach in therapy? What are your different experiences in relation to this? Why did you choose the way you did?
 
I usually see women because I would hate having to tell a man about the sexual abuse I experienced, the thought makes me very uncomfortable but a lot of that is because I've never known any empathic men
 
i only had 2 therapists in my life, when i was a teen i saw a woman, i lasted 2 sessions. this time i have a man and I've been going over 2 months. i feel so much more at east opening up to a guy, and i have no idea why. probably related to emotional abuse/neglect from my mom, i just felt shut off by women more.

i have no trouble talking to him about sex related stuff even, doesn't bug me in the slightest

as far as approaches, i think no. its more or less each therapist themselves is different. regardless of gender
 
I can never talk to a woman T.
Women in my life have been fake and could care less about me. Too much drama and pretense. Never trusted one.

I respect men and their opinion. They are more calm and less emotional. I connect with them better.

Totally judgemental of me. I know.
 
I can never talk to a woman T.
Women in my life have been fake and could care less about me. Too much drama and pretens...

So does that make all women fake? Sometimes the very thing we perceive as real is the very thing that is warped and needs work. Not suggesting you run out and get a woman therapist, however I think you need to challenge your thinking. Judgment is the least issue here. I think your perception is warped by your experience and you need to do some work on that.
Best wishes.
 
Do traditional male/female roles affect treatment style and approach in therapy?

Do you mean does my gender affect the style of treatment I receive? Or do you mean does the gender of my T affect his/her style?If its the first that's a pretty interesting question but one I'll likely never know the answer to.
 
Do you mean does my gender affect the style of treatment I receive? Or do you mean does the gender of m...
I meant the gender of the therapist, but now I am greatly interested in the question you brought up. :bookworm:
 
I've only had three T's. I never picked them based on gender. I never really got to pick them. Two of the three were male. One was very much a 'let's talk and think things through' guy. The other was all about punching pillows and 'expressing my inner child'.

My current T is female. She's mostly no nonsense when it comes to advice but inclined to let me set the pace for what I think I need to talk about. It seems to work well enough.

I don't think the gender of any of my T's affected the way I view them. I know all three were very supportive but I just couldn't do pillow punching and I'm pretty sure my inner child stepped on a landmine in Afghanistan.
 
This is something I have given much thought to of late. I am female. Currently, one of my main criterion in choosing a therapist is that the therapist be male. Why? Good question, and one for which I have not sorted through thoroughly and come up with a complete and logical answer. I tried to explain it to somebody recently, and my answer became so screwy and convoluted and the reasoning became so back and forth that I ended up deleting it and not even going there. Some of it makes little sense, except that it feels right to go that route. Some reasons seem backward even...

What I do know is that I seem to have a great deal of fear surrounding authority figures, and the fear is far more pronounced with males. Now, it might seem backward to choose a male therapist, but I disagree. My therapist says that in session is a good place to practice interpersonal communication skills as well as real world challenges. I don't disagree. These fears are much less pronounced in female company, thus would be less effectively addressed with a female therapist. She would likely not ever know they exist. It makes therapy difficult when I am completely terrified, but if I can pull through the challenge, I should be better in the end, right?

I did not completely rule out female therapists until giving it a try. I have had bad experiences with them. Despite the male-centered fear, I am much more comfortable being open with the right male. My real world as well as experiences with female therapists has led me to believe that they gossip more and are more judgmental, etc. I am just not comfortable with them.

There are 10 other reasons that, if I try to explain, will make none of this make sense at all, and lead to me deleting the reply entirely (as I have done previously). So I will stop here and hope at least one of these reasons makes sense to somebody.
 
Maybe I am drawn to a female therapist because I did reach out to a male best friend the night of my rape and got a high five for achieving a second "notch" on my belt. He didn't know, but he also didn't read between the lines when I told him that what happened was an "accident" that I didn't want. I also think I am seeking a female because I am craving a supportive friend that I never got during freshman year. My roommate and I kept crossing paths in the boy department and other girls either didn't like me because I was more successful than them in our field of study or because they thought I was a slut. And... in present tense my experience with men is that they try to "fix" stuff and get frustrated if they can't. Also, I feel that women need to support and respect women because I tend to work around men that favor and promote men over women. None of these reasons seem right in choosing a therapist to me. :meh: Honestly, insurance is what determined who I got. In medical stuff, I have been perfectly comfortable with male Dr's that I have and some female dr's. Maybe gender really doesn't matter.
 
I think it's important to go to whoever feels safe and understands you. I've gone to male therapists as a teenager who were safe. My current therapist is a female and is safe. I think it's important you go to someone you trust, male or female.
 
Only just realizing this but my core trauma is from the primary female when I was a baby/young child. It's been critical to my healing to have a female T - I think to learn to build healthy relationship with a female. When trauma therapy is complete in a couple of years, I'll probably search out a male T for maintenance therapy. Just for the different dynamic. The facilitator of my improv therapy group was a male and I found it so much easier and comfortable communicating with him.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.

Donation drives

2026 Donation Goal

Goal
$1,800.00
Earned
$910.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  50.6%

Trending content

Featured content

Back
Top Bottom