Medical Medical Induced Trauma

[Chava]

I haven't met a Florence Nightingale in any hospital yet. Not one.

I still have nice memories of a nurse/OT/volunteer (I don't even know) who hung out with me in the children's ICU when my parents were not there. I felt safe when she showed up and I think she knew that mattered. I've had many good and bad experiences since I've re-hospitalized myself so many times, but often I feel like nurses can care for me in emergency when I can't trust anyone else. For a while I felt a little too safe with the ER...

 

[shimmerz]

There is a book that I would like to read but haven't yet. Part 2 of the book, labelled insanity is something I would love to delve into.

Anyway, the book is called
Healing Insanity: A Study of Igbo Medicine in Contemporary Nigeria

Here is a link for a review.....

Link Removed

 

[Mit]

I had both good, bad and indifferent experiences in hospital. Most of the indifferent treatment reflected the institutional approach by the nhs. I was force fed disgusting tasting pre- meds when I was age 3 to 6 which caused to to vomit every time, they would hold me down and force it into me and then repeat it because I brought most of it back up. I learned what to expect from an early age so became very fearful and stressed as soon I knew I had to have another operation. Urinating after surgery was agony, the nurses would force me to drink so I would have a full bladder and then march me to the toilets on the ward and I would stand at the urinal crying, desperately trying not to wee because I knew how much it would hurt. Again I learned from an early age what to expect and was terrorised by the knowledge it was going to happen again soon. Years later as a teenager an enlightened ward sister got me to wee whilst sat in a warm bath, virtually pain free, such an easy thing to do. I was taken from my bed by a total stranger to a room on my own, stripped and photographed, for my medical file apparently. He made me display my genitals, and did other things I can't talk about. At age 14 I was referred to another hospital for "plastic surgery". They cut my penis in half and laid in new skin to create a functioning urethra. I was sent home for six months with my penis cut in two so the graft could take. I still had normal teenage physiological reactions, it looked and felt hideous and I felt like a monstrosity. I went to school with it in that state. I had this procedure twice after the first graft failed. Every day on the ward at this hospital the wound was cleaned by a nurse. After cleaning it she would spray my penis with a freezing cold aerosol used for muscle strains, apparently to prevent me from having an erection. The first time she did it she spayed for so long it burned the skin, but I had to just lay there and let her do this to me each day for two weeks, I was 14 or 15, distraught and humiliated. There's much more I could describe but I won't boor anyone anymore. But when I described these and more experiences to social workers, apparently I was wrong to think it had affected me, I should have coped with it and not developed in the way I did. My subsequent problems were my fault and mine alone. If there's any justice in this world it's yet to come our way. Sorry for the long post. It helps to scream into the wind sometimes.

 

[Tigergirl1217]

Even now, after half a century, I still find the thought of medical procedures involving genitals triggering.

I can relate to you on this one. I get a flow of anxiety when I see any type of urinary catheters and a cystoscope(camera that goes into your bladder) unfortunately I have to face a cystoscopy soon
Just thinking about it makes me nauseous

 

[Ronin]

Anyway, if you ever become psychotic, try doing it in Nigeria.
They genuinely have a better chance of full recovery and rehabilitation and reintegration than western Europe and north America.

... because no one needs 'integrating' in a country where eeveryone is crazy... Cough. On a serious note now.

Don't do it in Nigeria, you have a higher chance of winding up dead by a random thug who didn't have a good day and would love you on the other.

((I'm biased. Toward Nigeria, in fact. A country I've loved dearly with all its crazy. I appreciate the appreciation of some holisticness, but I appreciate people alive far more than that.

Natural remedies and all? They're findable across the US just fine. Try santeria shops owned by Black folk. Try Cuba if hard to find. And such.))

Where were we, medical trauma, right.

Reading along. Not something I'll be ready to respond in quite a while, but relating. In every case, this is one part of trauma I go with 'I'm alive, organs in the right order and mostly functioning, alive enough to babble about it on forums, even'. Does not for a in-depth discussion make, I know. But I can sit with y'all.

 

[anonymous1212]

Hello everyone,
Has anyone else gone through a similar experience?
When I was six years old I had...

Thank you for starting this thread here! Im sorry for what you went through. I definitely feel for you, and I hope you're doing well.

I was searching for info on VCUGs and PTSD, and came across this. I had one when I was 5 (30 years ago), and still suffer from the trauma of it. flashbacks, nightmares, medical phobia, and a host of other things i wont get into here. Its a barbaric test - actually, I wont even call it a "test". Its rape, plain and simple. Forced genital penetration of a child (very clearly against her will as she needs to be restrained while fighting, crying, and screaming for them to stop - so there's no question of consent involved) is rape. There is simply no other word to describe it. It needs to be stopped. The rapists - oops, i guess im still supposed to be calling them doctors - shouldnt be allowed to do it, and the parents should never allow it to be done, and should have the kids taken away from them if they do choose to let it be done.

Im gonna do a bit of ranting here, because the things Ive been reading from parents all over the internet is disturbing and frightening, and I've heard about as much as I can take without exploding. This needs to finally be said somewhere......

To any parents reading this while combing the internet for VCUG info in preparation for your child's test, here's the real info that you wont find on medical websites that claim to be preparing you for this, but really, they're just trying to make sure they dont scare you out of doing it, or from parents who put their children through this, and then try desperately to justify their behavior by saying its "worse for the parents than it is for the kids": I dont care why they claim they need to do it - Im only gonna say this once, and for the record, Im appalled that I need to say it at all - ITS NEVER OK TO RAPE A CHILD. Not for any reason at all. If you take your child for this test, you are giving someone permission to rape your child. You're scheduling your own child's rape, and in fact, you may even be asked to participate in you kid's rape by helping to restrain her. Would you do that in any other setting? So why would you facilitate something so heinous just because its in a medical setting?. . .Real nice. Shame on you for even considering it!! You should have your kids taken from you just like they would be if you handed them off to a pedophile. The only difference here is that the VCUG is legally sanctioned rape. But it is rape, nonetheless...Both by legitimate definition and by the effect that it has on the child during and afterward. I will address the lies I've actually heard - If they tell you it will be "uncomfortable, not painful" - they are LYING. If they tell you that your child will cry, but only because they're scared, not due to pain - they are LYING. They're telling the truth about the child being scared - they will be utterly terrified, but they're in horrible pain as well. If they tell you your child will die if they dont do the test - THEY ARE LYING. They are trying to scare you into doing it. Ive read forum posts between doctors, advising each other to tell a parent refusing a vcug for her child that the child will die if she doesnt agree to it, for the sole purpose of scaring her into doing it (all while acknowledging between themselves that its a blatant lie, but at least it will get her to agree to do the test). If your child's kidney function is in question, let them do bloodwork to check on it. ...If they tell you that once the catheter is in, the worst part is over - THEY ARE LYING!! the bladder distention hurts like hell, and the voiding part of the test is the most humiliating experience in the world. After 30 years, i still have trouble peeing, in my own home, because i always get a creepy, overwhelming feeling that someone is taking pictures of me...get it? It doesnt ever go away. Not one single part of the VCUG is at all humane. The medical community knows this, acknowledges it (amongst themselves, mostly), and yet continues to rape children under the protection of calling it a test.

It's not just analogous to rape - It is LITERALLY rape - legally sanctioned or not, rape has a very narrow definition, and the VCUG falls well within it. And make no mistake, it can and very often does have the same consequences for the child as any other type of rape, following them well into adulthood. I'm not even close to the only one.

No matter what anyone says, the benefits do not outweigh the risks. Even if you are of a mindset that children cant make decisions for themselves, i can tell you this as an adult - Id take any kind of kidney dysfunction - along with whatever medications or surgeries that would be needed along with it (as they are performed under general anesthesia), over 30 years of unrelenting PTSD symptoms in a heartbeat. Children may not be able to decide for themselves when it comes to medical procedures as a whole, but anything that will involve restraining a screaming child and forcing her legs open while forcibly penetrating her, should absolutely be left up to the child. If theyre old enough to object to it, then theyre old enough to be severely and permanently traumatized by it. If they know good touch vs bad touch, then they will never understand why their mommy would allow someone to rape them. No one - no doctor, and no parent - should ever have the right to decide that it is ok for someone to rape a child. Ever.

Im so completely disgusted by parents who let this happen to their children. Parents who watch it happen, parents who actually help them do it. And especially by parents who then have the audacity to defend their deplorable actions by saying that it was medically necessary.....Especially since most of the time, they find nothing alarming, so it's done for no reason at all. A simple UTI ends up leaving a child with lifelong PTSD. Reality check - there's no such thing as medically necessary rape. There are other ways to keep an eye on the kidneys.

 

[Anarchy]

Where's the multiple likes button when I want to use it...

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

There is an old saying that "Doctors always bury their mistakes". Two of my family members were killed by their screw ups, one of them my father. I don't trust them as far as I can throw them.

 

[anonymous1212]

Where's the multiple likes button when I want to use it...

Thanks Anarchy. I was a little hesitant to post. Never can be sure if there will be some crazy backlash to an opinionated post. I appreciate the support!

 

[Tigergirl1217]

There is simply no other word to describe it. It needs to be stopped. The rapists - oops, i guess im still supposed to be calling them doctors - shouldnt be allowed to do it, and the

I totally agree with you on this one and the fact that they lie to parents how bad it is. My favorite one is a catheter feels like a "soft spigettie noodle". I unfortunately still have urinary problems. My urologist wants me to go through a urodynamics test that is like a vcug but more invasive. Luckily my parents learned from this and firmly said no. I hope you have someone you know understand what you have went through and that your parents learned from your experience @anonymous1212

 

[Ronin]

@ Anonymous, opinionated is good, there's always potential for crazy heated atmosphere even with the most well reasoned posts, and please do not stop posting just because / if things get heated up, if you can manage. I mean, we've all got our ABCs and CBTs and whole other alphabets to re-learn & unlearn while we frequent here, so working on presenting ideas & disagreement may be only good for that. ;)

 

[anonymous1212]

Thanks, you guys.

I'm sort of starting out on a mission to get them to finally call it what it is, and stop doing it once and for all. I've gotten so frustrated and disturbed trying to do some research on this stuff. The more I read, the more flashbacks I have, so the more i try frantically to do more research in hopes of being able to stop them, but as I do, the flashbacks get worse, so i become more frantic to find a way to stop it......it's a bit of a vicious cycle.....and then, apparently, I end up writing a massive rant about it. lol. Dont get me wrong, I believe in everything I said. Ill always stand by it. I might normally pace myself a bit more though. Its hard to write while having flashbacks without getting extra pissed off about the thing that caused them.

I'll never understand how rape can be seen as anything other than rape, simply because a doctor calls it a "test". No matter how I think about it, I just can't wrap my mind around it. The definition of rape is based on the actions that are being taken against someone, and the lack of consent from that person - not on whether or not the attacker actually calls it rape. It doesnt matter what he calls it. All that matters is what he did....except, of course, in the case of doctors. They get a free pass to do anything they want, so long as they label it as something innocent. It's maddening.

Tigergirl - Im sorry to hear youre still having problems. That's fantastic that your parents were smart enough to refuse the urodynamics test, though! Hopefully there's some non-traumatizing way you're Dr. can help you. In the meantime, Im very glad to hear you have people keeping you safe from now on.