JEKBreatheandBelieve
Diamond Member
I was not expecting the medical test to be quite so triggering. I did not think it was going to be easy as it involved drinking barium and would last as long as 6 hours. The technician who came to get me explained an overview of the test. I was fine.
We did the first X-ray. I was fine. Then I had to stand on this platform thing with what I thought was a wall-type thing behind me. I had to start drinking the barium which was really hard for me to because of the texture. The radiologist told them to take the straw out so I would drink faster.
Then, they tipped the "wall" backwards. They told me first and I completely freaked out. My anxiety shot way up and I tried desperately to get off the platform. I don't even like to ride back in a dentist chair. I let them tilt it back and then I will tilt myself down. Eventually, they gave me a handle to hold on to and told me it would be okay. I ended up with my feet above my head. I do not know what purpose that served, but I was not okay after that. Someone should warn people before that happens!
I also had to lay on my stomach for several X-rays and that is a very triggering position for me. And in between each one I had to walk around an unfamiliar corridor and sit in an empty room where I at least got to read. I don't know how I made it through, but as soon as I got to my car afterwards, I was crying.
I will probably have to do other medical tests since it appeared that this one showed no abnormalities and abnormalities or clue to what's keeping me in pain are what I am trying to find. Maybe I should just give up on these test. Just live with the pain of things. Wish I has someone whose shoulder I could cry on and who would really understand that I need support right now (my husband would, but he needs to take care of the kids). So that leaves me alone...again.
We did the first X-ray. I was fine. Then I had to stand on this platform thing with what I thought was a wall-type thing behind me. I had to start drinking the barium which was really hard for me to because of the texture. The radiologist told them to take the straw out so I would drink faster.
Then, they tipped the "wall" backwards. They told me first and I completely freaked out. My anxiety shot way up and I tried desperately to get off the platform. I don't even like to ride back in a dentist chair. I let them tilt it back and then I will tilt myself down. Eventually, they gave me a handle to hold on to and told me it would be okay. I ended up with my feet above my head. I do not know what purpose that served, but I was not okay after that. Someone should warn people before that happens!
I also had to lay on my stomach for several X-rays and that is a very triggering position for me. And in between each one I had to walk around an unfamiliar corridor and sit in an empty room where I at least got to read. I don't know how I made it through, but as soon as I got to my car afterwards, I was crying.
I will probably have to do other medical tests since it appeared that this one showed no abnormalities and abnormalities or clue to what's keeping me in pain are what I am trying to find. Maybe I should just give up on these test. Just live with the pain of things. Wish I has someone whose shoulder I could cry on and who would really understand that I need support right now (my husband would, but he needs to take care of the kids). So that leaves me alone...again.