Meltdown

[Iron_Angel]

I'm in the middle of one, something stupid because I've been fighting with my computer for 2 days, had an error that I couldn't connect to the internet, and nothing I tried seemed to fix it. So I was logging onto the web via my little notebook, instead of my nifty ultra-gaming machine my son made for me. That meant no gaming to cope with things, either. And a lot of frustration building up because I couldn't solve the technical issue. (I'm pretty good with computers, so this was really getting to me.)

Finally today I got a new network card and voila, I'm back online. But the kid in the computer parts store was so busy trying to show me how much he knew, assuming that I was an old broad who didn't know anything about computers, that I got mentally off track of the card I wanted to buy and then when I got home found out the thing wasn't compatible with Windows 7. Grrr, but that's another rant I'll spare you from.

Bashed my fingers and broke something (non-vital) installing the card because the design of the case is bad (another pet peeve) and then had to go back to the notebook to download drivers that would make the card work with my OS. Thank god for forums, I don't know what I'd do without them!

But when I finally got reconnected and went to see if there was an updated driver for my card, I got to the site and saw a big red headline that said "Not Compatible". That's when I lost it.

So I'm sitting here, tears rolling down my face, and I'm just fed up with the world. I'm tired of having to do everything myself and getting no help or support from anyone. I've been working since I was 13, so that makes 45 years of having to do whatever needs to be done.

I'm stressed out and worried about my BF who is the sweetest man but who is caught in PTSD of his own, with trauma that doesn't end, and no way to get treatment right now. He's in withdrawal mode, "gone quiet" as he calls it, but I'm still soldiering on, trying to figure out a solution.

And when I falter and can't cope, who's there for me? No one.

Well, now you guys, so thank god for you all.

But at least now I can get online, so I'm going to fire up my game and be someone else for a while. Someone who is powerful and capable and destroys anything that gets in her way. It's kind of nice to be in another world from time to time, especially when this one gets to be too much.

 

[KP the nut]

Well I have to admit that the whole card, reader, thingy, bit in the whats it lost me completely. Computers like cars either work or they don't

. If we lose our connection, my H has to talk to a nice man in India (out sourcing

) ti fix it.

I'm pleased though that you are back with us.

Games are a great way to escape but solitaire and hearts is about my limit - sad I know.

So, guess what, I'm here for you

((HUGS))
Linking arms

 

[Iron_Angel]

Thanks! I feel better now. I think it was a build up of frustration that finally spilled over. Before I read about the PTSD cup I would have just thought I was having a tantrum, but now I realize my cup was way full and the last drop just made it overflow. It's sure helpful to understand this a whole lot better. Hugs back!

 

[alixipain]

theres times that mine overflows to a point i'm laughing, its the only true time youll find a smile on my face, for inside my mind is thoughts of ripping people apart with my bare hands! I have to hide my thoughts, I learned a few years ago when I was so mad that I was not aware of the fact I was thinking out loud in a police department waiting room, I found out quickly what they do to you when you do think out loud! so i just smile!!

computers are not my thing, have the reboot disks, i reboot every 3 months and start all over, about the time i get this thing the way i want it, it decides it wants to be sick!!