Memories Falling Into Place?

[hymnless]

Hey guys

Not entirely sure where this should go, so I'll put it here. Over the weekend I suddenly started to remember a few small pieces of my trauma history, which make everything connect together. It's honestly not something that I wanted to happen, I preferred being able to compartmentalize my traumas into isolated events because it felt a lot easier to handle.

Has this happened to anyone else? I'm suddenly questioning so many things in my life and it feels like everything is crashing down at once.

 

[Llith]

Hey @BookerNoe, I have been going through exactly the same thing recently, its been very uncomfortable, some things you wish you never knew...

Sadly I don't have much advice on how to deal with it, as its all pretty new to me as well, but I hope you are okay. Totally get the world crashing around you thing though :( *hugs*

 

[Muttly]

Also going through the same thing. Don't have a lot of advice. Haven't really been able to communicate much lately. Sending out support to you.

 

[hymnless]

Ok I have no idea how that last comment posted or how to make it go away.... whoops!

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one that this has happened to. I just want my thoughts to slow down so I can get it all sorted.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

Yes, it happens and for me, it is a sign of healing and breaking through denial.

Here is a song:
Annie Lennox The Hurting Time 2003

I usually listen to music, write in my journal, and go to therapy to do EMDR to process unresolved memories.

 

[Health heal explore]

This is kinda happening for me at the moment too. It is confronting.. my conscious and subconscious parts feel like they're having a massive battle. It's taken me a while to accept that it's time for my conscious brain to take over. It's ready to let the worst parts come up so that they can be left in the past, where they belong. I don't think I will be able to move on if I keep consciously allowing my subconscious to keep things from me. But it is confusing.. the more I think about it the less sure I become which, to me, is a sign that my self talk is wrong. My only advise and the way I try to manage, is to breath. In 5, hold 5, out 5, hold 5. In 4, hold 4, out 4, hold 4... etc Making sure your tum strain at the end of the out breath. (That ole trchnique), I'm sure your prob aware of it but it always works for me. I do that if I'm in a place I'm not super comfortable for things to come up. And when safe and cozy and supported, my body knows whether or not I'm ready for it. I think maybe the most important thing for me to remember, during the process, is that how the memories make me feel, is not necessarily me and can be, somewhat, disordered. I've learnt to stop beating myself up about it.

 

[Hope4Now]

It is shocking and horrible sometimes when pieces start to fit together. I thought I was "done" with it but more is coming through. Keep reminding yourself it is in the past. Walk around where you live and find objects that can anchor you to the present. I do a lot of writing about the memories and sometimes that helps. Know that these shifts are an important part of the healing process. Peace.

 

[hymnless]

Thanks for all the replies guys. I had surgery and went off the grid for a bit there. I've been doing a lot of grounding work and that's helped a lot. Right now I've paused on EMDR because was so intense that I felt like my mental health was really deteriorating between sessions. So, more work and then back to it I suppose. More of the memories are coming together and like @Hope4Now said, it's shocking and horrifying. But I guess I'll just keep working.

How's everyone else doing?

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

I've been dealing with something similar and I'm not really feeling capable of thinking or talking about it. It ducks major balls and I wish to f*ck it would stop. It seems like the better I'm getting the more shit is coming to the surface. It really hard to deal with.