Memory Loss - Not Sure What To Do

[Aine]

Hello,

I've only been very recently diagnosed with C-PTSD and I'm not yet receiving treatment but I'm getting quite worried about some of the memory loss I've been having.

At first, it was just little things, I'd forget to eat lunch or what day it was or to return my books to the library. However, it started moving up, I forgot what I'd eaten (very unusual for me), I'd forget I was supposed to meet up with friends or what I was doing that week. This was very disconcerting as I constantly plan ahead. I started programming things into my phone so I would forget them. It wasn't a big deal, just inconvenient.

Then this morning, my boyfriend received a card from me in the mail. We have a long distance relationship while I'm at university so I send him things. However, not only do I not remember sending this card, I don't remember writing it or even buying it. I'm starting to get quite scared.

I've suspected for a number of years that I've repressed a lot of the memories of the abuse I suffered as a child but I fear now that it's spreading into my everyday life at an alarming rate. I'm not sure what to do. Do I see my doctor?

 

[SunnyBrookFarm]

Aine -

I also have C-PTSD and have always had memory issues (included some supressed memories). Recently, my memory issues have actually gotten worse (I absolutely have no idea what I did this weekend for example), while in therapy.

You don't mention why you haven't started treatment yet, but the stress of being diagnosed and actually acknowledging it could be contributing to the increase in your memory. However, I would suggest that if at all possible you begin treatment soon and discuss with your doctor to rule out anything else health wise.

 

[maria]

Aine,

All the above is good advice. It could be overwhelming stress. But it's also good to get the physical aspects checked out. I don't know where you live, but major medical centers do pyscho-neurological evaluations. When I had one done, I discovered that I'd had ischemia.

Maria

 

[onebravegirl]

Hi Aine,
I also was diagnosed with CPTSD and can relate completely. This is a common occurance with this disorder. It may even get worse before it improves. You see, Your mind is going to get very insistant on slowing everything down so that you can process un-resolved issues, and in the process it will filter out what it thinks is irrelevent. Some have the opposite challenge of feeling everything to the 10th power and jumping out of their skin at the slightest sudden noise.
It can get down right embarassing at times but it is just your brains way of pulling on the reigns and saying "WOE!".
This does get easier eventually. I remember a time when I couldn't even speak properly. My words would slur together and I would forget what I was saying in mid sentence.
This is a legit illness and telling the people who you care about what is happening can help you feel a little less anxious. Try and have a sense of humour about it if you can.
Some people have found keeping a daily journal or events and dates helpful as well.
Hang in there Aine,
O

 

[Pixie]

Hi Aine!

As others have already said, the forgetfulness is absolutely normal. I have to also put everything into my phone etc so that I don't forget. I also forget what I've done during the past hour, day, week etc. so I keep a journal so that I can at least have a record of what I've done and go back and read it if I'm worried.

About the card situation. That is scary. There have been times where I have lost time, "woken up" minutes or hours later, not remembering anything. It could be that you purchased this card and sent it while you were in such a state.

I've suspected for a number of years that I've repressed a lot of the memories of the abuse I suffered as a child...

I felt exactly the same way when I was first diagnosed and it drove me crazy. I have since remembered so much but it is a very difficult road so I'm glad that you are here and can get support from others on the journey.

Rell

 

[Lethe]

Aine,

I forget things all the time. Every so often, I'll loose an entire weekend, where I have no idea what I did just a few days later. I write a lot of notes to myself. I've also found with the bigger projects that breaking them down into smaller projects, like 1-2 days long helps keep me on track. It's not just you.

 

[Grama-Herc]

You are not alone as you can see. I hve huge holes in my childhood memories and can't even remember what day it is. I have to rely on the newspaper.
As usual, I could not remember what day it was, so I looked at the newspaper. There was only "1" small problem-----it was the paper from the day before, so I spent the entire day thinking it was Tuesday, when it was actually Wednesday and could not figure out where all my favorite TV shows were. LOL

With all kidding aside, I know what you are going through. The memory loss is very frightening. I am being told all the time about stuff I did, said or things that happened and I am a total blank. No memory.

For a long time I thought maybe I had another personality in my head. At least it would explain the lost time and memory.

 

[dust]

You see, Your mind is going to get very insistant on slowing everything down so that you can process un-resolved issues, and in the process it will filter out what it thinks is irrelevent.
O

Hi Aine,

these sentences by onebravegirl encapsulated this for me... I began recovering memories a few years ago and I could not remember anything on a day to day basis while it was happening, it was very distressing. It did get better. It is much better now, though when I am triggered it gets worse again. I still have more memories to recover and when they start coming back I notice how my brain slows.

Take care, it is very disconcerting, but it does get better and your day to day memory will come back. I hope you are getting treatment for this.

Best,

dust

 

[the racha]

Hi, Aine. Sorry you're having this problem; I agree with others that you should seek treatment as soon as you can. Therapy can provide a safe place for you to explore all of this. Additionally, you may want to read into DID (dissociative identity disorder) and ask your future doctor/therapist if that may be an issue as well.

Good luck,
racha

 

[cragger65]

I have a horrible memory as well, I don't remember who I was just talking to on the phone 10 minutes after I've hung up, I have to write just about everything down to remind myself. Our brains doesn't seem to have the energy and clarity to track and store a lot of stuff. It is disconcerting, for sure. I'm having a little more trouble than usual lately myself, but I think it's change of meds recently, and the heightened anxiety that's come with it. Developing the habit of jotting yourself detailed notes is definately helpful.

take care,
Dave

 

[Deleted member 541]

I have been trying to pay attention to my memory issues, and I have figured this much out(for me anyway) When I am REALLY stressed out, my memory is shot. I can't remember where I am supposed to be, what time I have to be there, or anything.......I can't remember even simple tasks, and how to do them, I even have forgottenhow to use a small appliance.....Then I get stressed out even more because of this....Vicious cycle...

Once my stress level is down, my memory will get better. Not great, but at least back to semi normal...... I think the key is minimal stress. When we get stressed our minds can only handle so much, and I believe that whatever we are stressed out about, takes up and takes over our normal thinking pattern, leaving very little room for other things...I tend to become hyper focused, on what is stressing me out, and everything else becomes a memory issue for me.....

 

[Grama-Herc]

Memory!

My mom was reading some material about stress and something she said hit home for me.

When we are stressed our mind and body goes into the fight or flight mode and that is the only thing that is being focused on. Everything else, just falls by the way side. Once adrenelin kicks in, nothing we see, hear or do during this fight/flight period is retained. Makes a lot of sense to me!!!!!!