Relationship Messy Life Hello, Again......

[Amack]

I am probably one of the most optimistic humans I have ever met (:D) seriously!! Sure some of my posts have been down in the dumps....we all have our moments. LOL
But here we are again. Hello, ComplexPTSD symptoms out of control.... My sufferer's symptoms are very cyclical as I have mentioned before. We had several good years before a big slip down the slimy slide of PTSD.....:eek::banghead::bawling: My sufferer's occupation is also a large portion of the recent slide but he refuses to do anything different. Currently, we are traveling with the fun symptom of hypervigilance accompanied by altered perception of reality. Altered as in the social system is going down and everyone is watching us....

Now, most of the time I can go on and leave him there if he refuses reality. But due to the fact, he has not been in counseling for a hearty 3 months it's reeling out of control....:nailbiting: and I am loosing my mind. So, I had to vent.:mad: Here is to another round of starting counseling, again. Another messy day.......

Honestly, most days I do not know why I am still here. I want to stuff five cookies in his mouth and punt him out the door like the little shit he acts like....:p

 

[GrayOwl]

I like the cookie idea.
I might just keep acting up if you make good cookies. Chocolate chip??

Maybe make a game of it? Try tossing them and he can catch them in his mouth until his crappy mood goes away?

This time of year is rough on moods/ptsd/supporters. Vitamin D, sunshine, outside activity, counselling, etc. etc. etc.. If I don't work very very hard at staying on top of it, my mood by mid February goes real sour. Each year is better- I am more aware and work harder at it.

You take care of yourself. Supporting two people is a lot of work. Hope things improve.

Mmmmm. Me want cookie too....

 

[Sighs]

:hug:

 

[Amack]

Funny @GrayOwl

The cookies are because he also has had substance abuse co-occurring. So when he is symptomatic he goes on sweet eating binges....So I was being snarky!! I am a bit of that.....sarcastic, even if I am the only one "getting" it!!!:laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

[GrayOwl]

I love your sarcasm. It seems to be one of my coping mechanisms too.....
I was afraid I sounded a bit insensitive, I'm glad you understood.

Your comment:

"Honestly, most days I do not know why I am still here. I want to stuff five cookies in his mouth and punt him out the door like the little shit he acts like....:p

"
is one of the kindest descriptions of how it must feel to be a supporter. I loved it.

I admire your optimism. You seem to have it balanced really well with an understanding of reality and a command of sarcasm. Those may be a good combination for survival and even healthy coping mechanisms and healing for your ptsd'er. And yourself.

"Against the onslaught of laughter, nothing can survive." One of my favorite quotes. Sometimes in the midst of triggering or isolating, I find myself engaged in good humor, practical jokes, sarcasm, or just plain fun. (Not sure why. Coping mechanism?) And sometimes after an onslaught of all that, my symptoms seem to have vanished or retreated. Often it's not even necessary to know why, happiness and companionship often just "chases" my depression away.

I won't weigh in on the social system, lol.

Thanks for your post. Thanks for a meaningful vent. And I went and bought myself a mammoth chocolate chip muffin to assuage the cookie craving......thank you !!!

Wishing you both happiness and healing.

 

[Sweetpea76]

So I was being snarky!! I am a bit of that.....sarcastic, even if I am the only one "getting" it!!!:laugh::laugh::laugh:

May as well have a laugh, even if it's in your own head! Lord knows laughscan be in short supply :)