Thanks
@lostforgottensoul.
I have no idea what it means to assume or think or read a person's mind without knowing anything or basing on anything other than if one is clairvoyant or psychic. and definitely not interested in that. My intention of this post is between two people where a relationship or real interaction is in place. But will keep an open mind.
What I meant which is expanding the more people respond is that, I think I am getting confused now about my own clarification, is that when we are in relationships (and this is really the key for most part but not all the time), we are reading or making as you put an educated guess when we finish each other's sentences or call someone and they say yes I was just thinking about. There is intangible connection of communication between humans.
That sort of extreme subtle and intuition is some thing most people have but too much therapy talk sort of eradicated this out and I think this is sort of dealing with trauma (which I will get to).
When I see a lot of people on this site super confused about their feelings (including me at many times) and those of the predators' at the time the trauma was occurring. I read it this way.
To me, when we (speaking from general space not to anyone particular) are being abused and all our senses are at animal level, so focused or so dissociated but other senses are highly aroused (life and death situation), we, as humans, probably feel extremely attune to the other person (the only other human that is also harming us) so deeply (another word is trauma bonding) and we are so into each other obviously one doing the harm and one at extreme self-preservation. I would not dismiss that at that moment of extreme attunement to the situation at that level of trauma and harm and extreme state of mind, the victim did not read the abuser's mind (to gauge some self survival thing) and saw exactly what they were doing and because the victim was offline to survive, they record the predators' intention as their own thoughts and feelings; hence, most of traumatized people feeling guilt and shame when objectively it absolutely makes no sense to feel guilt and shame for being raped. But because as an example, the victim read the rapist's mind and that reading got tattooed to in the victim's mind, so de facto, read their mind and after survival, cannot relinquish that ownership right away - hence trauma! to make it more palpable, now I am walking around feeling guilty, shame, hatred, and angry and out of my mind cause I was raped.
For example and made up scenario , now I go to therapy, and I said well I have all these feelings after my rape and they say ooh you are traumatized. Ok we all accept but after months and years of working I am still so f*cked up about these feelings. I am because they are not mine...they are feelings transfered to me when I was being raped, shamed, hated, and was being hostile at....if I was not being traumatized but was being harmed, I would not be reaching to the point in human consciousness where I was so broken to attached myself to the rapist mind. I would be (these are personal opinion and do not reflect all humans just so I am not triggering anyone here). If I was being harmed I would be scared, afraid, powerless, helpless, hopeless but not completely lost the "self" into the perpetrators mind. losing the self at that instant at the harm of another person. I am focused on relational trauma here because the human aspect makes a huge difference in my mind.
This is now going to metaphysical levels of thinking and conceptualizing that maybe if I feel guilty and shame after rape, my rapist was feeling guilt and shame doing that to me and maybe in processing that now, at least, and bear with me as I leap too far that at least, he was not enjoying it or at with the enjoyment was feeling guilty and shame. and maybe that gives me some reassurance that all humanity is not lost.... Where maybe if I get raped and start to rape others as a result, then it may be sort of be that my rapist was not only predator but much higher pathological level in human spectrum and his stains keeps living off me until hopefully I find my own humanity unique to me before it was stained by him or recover my own unique humanity regardless of the trauma.
I think therapy talk, IMHO, absolutely hates to believe mind-reading in trauma cause there is no any other way to explain why a traumatized person becomes or acts in some cases like the preparators if not in action then in the mind - self hate. IMHO, after trauma having extreme self hate that one wants to even commit suicide, tells me one lost self into the rapist/perpetrator or whatever....by directly communicating when the trauma was taking place.
Now, it is almost impossible to read others' mind in everyday situation obviously but the mechanisms are there just like men have nipples but do not produce milk. Also this mechanism works well with mothers and babies as good (maybe better actually) also in therapy or finishing off each other sentences...the person is focus on us so they are so focused on us to almost see what we are thinking but of course because we are not in extreme situations, they often ask questions to just make sure we are all on the same wavelength. this is respecting our autonomy and boundary and those who cross that most people think of them as intrusive whether they're right or wrong about the mind reading does not matter. In the traumatic moment, we are attuned to level so unbelievable for us to imagine so our senses are also unbelievable level of consciousness where, IMHO, mind reading takes place for one to survive...I would say the perpetrator probably does not have that though I do hear sick people who got off by the fear of someone dying or almost close to death. I hope i do not cross paths with those.
I guess my point was and maybe I was just trying to understand it myself and this is what I needed to make sense for me - that reversal of feelings with the predators in my own life and understand why i would have certain feelings that absolutely make no sense for me like guilt or shame or self hate. But actually having those feelings also again tell me at least the information I picked from my perpetrator is that they were feeling guilt and shame and self hate to do what they did to me. If there were no guilt and shame again, probably I would have lost any love for humanity as they were and lost hope...again maybe that is what separates a traumatized person who becomes very traumatized adult versus one who becomes a killer or a serial killer. The extreme mind reading took over the whole self and no way to switch back.
sorry very long and gosh so winded and I am very confused about the whole thing but I got some stuff off my chest.
Thank you,
