Mixed signals

[KwanYingirl]

And also @desiderata310 , a local therapist can be of more help to you to settle into your new city. The T out west just can’t help you find resources, medical care, alternative healers (I hate the term alternative, there’s plenty of data to support Eastern based therapies) mechanics, places to visit to decompress. These things are a part of your day to day life and you are new to a very different way of life. Not just a mental health professional, but also a resource for local culture. I know Psychology Today has a therapist finder site. Of course that’s probably therapists that paid a fee to be on it

I don’t know what you like to do with free time, but knowing good places to hear music, run your dog, day trips to explore the lay of the land, that sort of thing. I stand by my opinion that getting recommendations from a non profit that works with survivors will help you narrow it down. They’ve seen it all.

 

[desiderata310]

Today I had a session with J. It all felt weird on my end. I have a buildup of journaling I haven't sent him and it was kind of like jumping into cold water for me. I don't know.
He said that he IS seeing someone himself and getting support but f*ck... he was sitting there on Skype talking to me, sick and admitted he hadn't been to see anyone for his health.
I have zero desire to go back to see the EAP chick. Zero. She pissed me off and really rubbed me the wrong way.
I also don't know if J is up to dealing with... me... even if he says he is. I mean, he f*cking disappeared at the worst possible moment. He said he needed to process what had happened which is why he ghosted. I don't know.
I'm NOT going back to EAP chick. Just ... no.

 

[hithere]

I DID wind up going to see someone today. They literally had someone who had an opening that I ha...

yikes. this counselor is not "trauma focused" AT ALL

 

[desiderata310]

I am not planning on returning to this person.

 

[blackemerald1]

Ok you have no faith in either of these people/counsellor's. Have you looked into finding a therapist who will help you? If not, I strongly suggest you do because you have indicated you feel you need help.
Now, as difficult as it is, you must start finding a therapist who behaves in YOUR best interest.

 

[scout86]

Do you have another appointment scheduled with J?

 

[desiderata310]

Yes, we scheduled before we hung up again for next Friday.

 

[Harmonics]

I tend not to post out in the open forum much often leaving much of what I have to say in my priv...

Having moved half-way across the country last year, I have some understanding of your struggle. My previous therapist and I ended treatment before I moved, which was good and bad. I think it was good that we did not try to maintain therapy via other routes, but I was lost dealing with the stress of the move with no friends or family in the area on top of the new job. As hard as it is to get a new therapist, I did, in less than a month after moving. While I know it is not easy to go through the process of establishing a relationship with a new therapist, continuing with a therapeutic relationship where you no longer feel that you can share freely is not a good dynamic. You are still the client, and if the service can't be provided, you have to look elsewhere.

Now that I am several months in with the new therapist, I can see where the change was a good thing. This therapist has skills and experience that differ from my previous one, and I am making progress. Hopefully, you will be able to share a similar story in a few months!

 

[Stephernovas]

Yes, we scheduled before we hung up again for next Friday.

Sorry, but I’m going to be blunt here. What the hell are you thinking???? This individual is NOT being of benefit to you and is revealing things that he should not be. Seriously do yourself a favour and find a new local therapist. I do not see this ending well for you, and this “J” individual is being completely unprofessional. If you are paying him, you are wasting your money. I don’t want to see you fall apart through all of this alone. If this is all going to end/change, at least do yourself a favour and have a good, trustworthy, supportive and reliable therapist ready to back you up!!

 

[blackemerald1]

Yeah I agree, with @Stephernovas - for what it's worth, what are you doing? Sometimes you just have to be brave & selfish for your own sake. Get another therapist so when J crashes & burns on you (and he will) - you are still standing but not alone.

 

[Mach123]

I know it's going to be hard to start over but I don't see any choice I'm sorry. : ( I know exactly how this feels as I have left therapists and had them leave. It's terrible. All you can do is tell yourself something good will happen and it's for the best. I hope you find the right therapist this time. : (

 

[Sandstone]

From what I've read, I don't think J was the wrong therapist. I wonder if his humanity and un-professionalism ( if that is the word) made him right? I can imagine that the different quality of relationship would make it possible to be more open. So now, when you are facing so much change, it is very sad that he has hit a point where he can't be an unchanging but distant rock.