More Than Just Hypervigilance?

[Fadeaway]

Sometimes, everything just seems too loud. The rustle of the plastic bag the cat is playing with, the swish of my husbands jeans pant legs as the brush past each other as he walks.

And I get this sensation that I don't have words for. but the best way to explain it, is that my body makes me feel squeamish. Because my skin is there I feel squeamish. No logic to it at all.

I can't type at that point because the sensation from the tips of my fingers on the keyboard is overwhelming. It doesn't hurt, it is just too intense so I recoil as if in pain.

I feel mildly anxious when this happens. It is usually at night, around bedtime. It is worse if i haven't slept much in the last few days. I am more aware of everything and everything is more intense, but it is extreme body awareness that is the real issue for me.

 

[sun seeker]

I think it may be significant that you feel this way more when you haven't been sleeping. I've felt a lot like you describe when seriously sleep deprived, though come to think of it I've been pretty sleep deprived lately and don't feel this way. Some nutritional deficiencies might make a person feel like that too, and also not getting enough down time if you are an introvert. Depleted adrenals? I don't know, just a few ideas. I hope you can get some relief, it's no fun to say the least.

 

[Friday]

I get this sometimes as part of my hypervig. It's like someone cranked the volume up on the world, and it really does hurt. It's something that was useful during night-watch stuff, or sneaking around stuff... Cause I can durn well hear everything. A mosquito farting a mile away, practically. Today, though...setting a fork down? Sounds like cymbals were just crashed right by my head. Ugh.

Thing was... Back when I used this? It was adaptable. I could hear and place footsteps and their path, easily understand a lisping whisper... but if someone spoke to me in a conversational tone? Those little ear bones pulled back far enough so that it didn't sound like they were shouting at me. Ugh. Unlike now. There's no adaptability. It's just LOUD-LOUD-LOUD....stooooooooooooooooop!!! Stop the world. I want off this ride!

The 2 ways I deal with it are either sleep... Or sensory overload. Depends on how functional I need to be. Sensory overload can backfire. Usually it's a break from heightened senses... And utterly relaxing. Overload, relax for a bit and then fine. Sometimes, though, like a migraine... I just start puking my guts out and might as well have gone to bed, cause that's all Ill be good for after having (metaphorically) stabbed ice picks through my brain. Blinding headache and nausea and vertigo.

 

[Lucycat]

I am struggling with the fact that you used 'just' and 'hypervigilance' in the same sentence. There is for me, no just about it. It is a very big deal and affects me every single day.

 

[Fadeaway]

@sun seeker I am big on nutrition, but sleep deprivation like I said, and depleted adrenals could very much play a role. You also could be right about not getting enough down time. My husband has been out of work for 5 months now and he is a homebody like myself so we rarely get time part and it is killing me. I am a big time isolator. Hopefully you have gotten some rest.

@FridayJones Yup, those are the two things that work. I think people must think I am super weird when trying to explain the overload part. I am honestly super grateful you mentioned that because I felt like a freak for that.

@Lucycat I am so sorry that you took my my use of the word just to seem as if I was downplaying hypervigilance. My communication skills suck. I guess what I was trying to say was, more than what I normally experience when it comes to hypervigilance." But you are right and I can see how my title can come off as dismissive, although that was the farthest thing from my mind when trying to come up with the right wording for the title.