Mother Barging into Bathroom

[Mahtalat]

Also! And I think its pretty clear that we have to get you out of that environment where you don't feel safe in order for you to fully heal. It's immersion...I know that was like that for me when I lived with my dad. And even now still feeling like a burden! (But now isn't due to abuse for me just 'guilt').

 

[Mahtalat]

Welllll I love you tooo :). And! That's a funny thought you see since I am a MESS! LoL even 'I' trip over the things in my room. And talk about kids! They're gonna leave their toyssss lyingg aboutttttt. You might trip but do not fearrrrrr! I will save you! (I know first aid, CPR, AND HOW TO USE AN AED!) ANDDDDDD I'm going to be an EMT--> Paramedic...seeee you're safe with me :).

Yes! And especially since you understand PTSD since you have it. I love you Mahi and I can't wait to be able to live with you. No more triggers, no more leaving crap in the hallway for me to trip over... I'm getting so excited just thinking about it. Four weeks till I get to see you!

 

[cherryblossom]

I'm assuming that since it is not 'your' house (it's your parents house, right?), that you are not able to get a lock fixed to the bathroom door. I think it's absolutely appalling that your mother invades your privacy in this way. PTSD, or no PTSD. She should totally respect your boundaries. Obviously fitting a lock would sort this problem, but if that's not possible, could you maybe get a door stop/wedge. Something that you can jam under the door, once you are inside to stop her being able to open it from the outside. The type of thing that holds a spring loaded door open. Does that make any sense? I don't know how else to describe what I mean.

Regards CB

 

[Shamstalat]

Thanks for the idea, Cherryblossom! I can't fix a lock since it's my house. I didn't want to just throw away other people's suggestions though. I will definitely use some sort of doorstopper. My mom can go to hell or learn what she needs to get before I go in there!

The norm in my family is no secrets, no privacy. My father used to read my computer stuff, right down to my IM conversations. (Now he doesn't, thank god.) My parents go to the bathroom with the door open, walk around naked, and don't make any attempt to hide their personal lives. (I've caught them both cheating.) It forces me into an awkward position between being open and having to hide things about myself from them. They don't believe my PTSD or any of the abuse in the slightest, so I have to hide these things. Therefore my computer stuff is sensitive since I acknowledge these things on here (like I am now.) But now even if my father did want to snoop around my computer, he couldn't. I turn the monitor off and use screen reader on earphones when he's home. And I turn screen reader off when I'm not at my computer (and he doesn't know how to turn it on, nor does he know how to turn the monitor on so he can't find out). It's made me very paranoid about how I use my computer. I always make sure there's a wall behind me and I use my earphones to keep everything private.

 

[Shamstalat]

Edit: since it's not my house.

 

[cherryblossom]

Edit: since it's not my house.

yeah, I kind of thought that was what you meant.

As you have stated you have tried to talk with your family and explain your situation. But they haven't listened to you. They are clearly free to behave as they like in their own home, but surely, as an adult, they must see that you are old enough to make decisions regarding your own boundaries. Do they realise that their behaviour will drive you away?

My only other suggestion is to put all your thoughts in writing and give it to your mother to read. Maybe that way she will find it harder to dismiss how you are feeling and the things that have happened to you.

 

[Shamstalat]

I guess I could try that, cherryblossom. I am not sure it will work. My mother lost a relative to bipolar disorder and now considers herself an expert on mental illness. She thinks she has me all figured out. She thinks she understands me inside out, and is not willing to put her own made up answers aside to hear mine.

But I could try that. I never have tried that before, mainly cause I have very little faith in it working. But I will think about it. Thanks for the suggestion.

shamsi

 

[Mina]

Just to add to the lock idea: if you can't do anything about the knob lock, what about installing one of those little slider bar or bolt locks? (like the kind often found inside public restroom stalls). You can buy them at any hardware store, and they are relatively easy to install; just a few small screws. They can be placed at just about any height on the door, so as not to interfere with the knob.

 

[SOB]

Shamstalat,
Are you seeing a therapist? I ask because you seem to be a cool person and it seems that you could really benefit from something like that.

Regards,
SOB