Mother's day

[EveHarrington]

Yep, got issues there too! Grrr @ even having holidays to celebrate parents that only did wh...

We need a “single people are fabulous!” day!!!!!!

YEAH!!!!!

 

[Sweetleaf]

We need a “single people are fabulous!” day!!!!!!

I used to refer to valentine's day as "single's awareness day"
Hahahaha.

 

[shatter eyes]

Earth Day is also Mother's Day.
Mother Earth.:hug:

 

[blackemerald1]

Well I like being a mother and I love hearing from my children. It's nice to hear their voices. Even though they call me at other times too of course when it's not MD but I am :wacky: and they know it.:)

Spending a lot of time with my parents now as they are quite elderly, frail and need me. I don't make a big deal out of MD with them but I do make sure she knows I'm there and I care regardless. I try to handle both of my parents with respect and grace. I hope I manage that. Idk very confusing for me in a way.

It's just another day really so no major expectations. ;)

 

[Muttly]

@lostforgottensoul sorry it's so hard this year.

@EveHarrington Yes, father's day is worse

@shatter eyes I love that. Earth day I can get behind

I don't think this year is as bad for me. Each year, now that she died, gets a little easier. Having said that, it's still hard and my stress cup seems to be running over w

 

[lostforgottensoul]

If I hear "Happy Mother's Day" one more time I'm going to snap! Everyone from every customer I talk to and each supervisor and co-worker assumes that since I'm female I must be a mother. I just say "thank you: but it's a trigger that I can't get away from. Not being a mother and loosing my one and only possible baby as a child and not being able to have children now is a trigger as is my mom, thinking about my mom as a mom and my step mom as a mom. All of it is a trigger. JUST STOP!!!!!

Sorry, had to vent! Had to deal with it yesterday and today it's a thousand times worse! Ugh!!!

 

[Noise]

I'm struggling today. My mom was pretty damn abusive when I was growing up. Like she even tried to kill me a couple of times.

And it's just things are better now between us. And I've forgiven her for the most part cause tbh the whole situation was toxic. But I'm still just hurting.

And I'm always so uncomfortable when people talk about their moms being so supportive and nurturing and that stuff, when I look at my own mom and there's none of that especially in my childhood.

I'm just sad and emotional and I had a couple flashbacks earlier and I kinda just want to curl up and pretend this day doesn't exist.

 

[Sweetleaf]

@lostforgottensoul I so feel you there. I am sterile, and my mom is homophobic, she didnt protect me from my father's abuse, she ignored me and played favorite with my sister. She has the emotional regulation and anger control of a meth-addicted gorilla.

The sterile bit f*cking kills me though. That is what makes this day particularly hard for me. It reminds me, all day long, what I will never, ever experience - while forcing me to watch all these people who likely take it for f*cking granted, get showered in adoration for having a working f*cking set of reproductive organs. Big. f*cking. Whoop.

This is gonna come across as way harsh but dont take it personal, any mothers reading this, I am only venting my frustrations, and I am going to probably be over the top with it - so like if anyone reading this might be sensitive to that kind of thing, just don't even read the rest of this post - it's hyperbolic "I hate being sterile and am venting my rage at the universe" ranting:

Mothers day just makes me want to sarcastically yell
"You had sex and shat out a crotchfruit! Wow! Congrats what a f*cking accomplishment you're so f*cking amazing for having a totally f*cking normal body that works, just wow such amazing talent. How ever did you handle the horror of your body doing something it literally evolved to do? Complain to me some more about how you pissed your pants when pregnant" jesus christ like it pisses me off to hear that shit - "oh it was so horrible, I had to pee a bunch and peed myself, that was such a high price to pay for bringing a life into the world" muh pee, muh pregnancy discomforts, muh episiotomy, muh c section. "Wah wah wah look at me I suffer with a reproductive system that works." Give me a f*cking break. I am so tired of every goddamn womens only space turning into a f*cking pregnancy problems whining circlejerk, holy f*ck, it's like, every f*cking time. Spend enough time in like any given womens only space, or when around a bunch of women, and its inevitable that a pregnancy circlejerk will happen. I swear to f*cking god they get off on it or something (i do realize they are doing a totally normal thing, sharing about difficulties they had - I am being hyperbolic here, though I do think it's complained about far too much, seeing as every single one of those conversations basically has been played out a zillion times before)

I HATE seeing people complain about something that I will never get to experience - my sterility makes me want to kill myself sometimes, and hearing people complain about pregnancy like it's the worst shit ever, triggers me HARD. It's like, bitch shut the f*ck up, I would so trade places with you if I could, in a heartbeat, with no regrets, you ungrateful f*cker.

Rant over, please nobody take any of that personal, I am purely venting.

 

[Mee]

I made a little collage of the animals that suffer my nurture need today ;).

As for the rest.... Not my noise but I am glad others enjoy it. What I don’t quite get is why it becomes something others greet others for? I think it's lovely to recognise great relationships ( biological or otherwise) but to sort of make it a greeting to those who's situation you do not know when it is understood many familial ties are not ideal seems.... Insincere, false and enforcing a ’lets pretend no bad things happen’ facade.

 

[EveHarrington]

@lostforgottensoul I so feel you there. I am sterile, and my mom is homophobic, sh...

OMG girl!

Cue the drama...

Respond with a pained/teary face, quivering lip if you can, stuttering out a choked “I can’t have kids of my own”.....quickly covering your face (if only to hide the non-existent tears) and rapidly exiting stage left.

And then when you’re far enough away you can laugh at throwing that shit back in their face and making them feel bad about their bitching or whatever it is that they’ve said.

Can you tell I’ve thought about this a bit? Maybe it’s mean, but as my therapist says, the issue of having kids or not is EXTREMELY private and nobody’s f*cking business. People need to learn that this issue is very painful for many of us and not be so damn rude. I know, I know, we can’t change others, but it goes waaaay beyond that. The insensitive shit that has been said to me just blows my mind! I should stop now before I get really worked up. This is a sore point for me and I share it with no one.

I’ve pushed it down for so long. I’m determined to be that super f*cking cool aunt to my sister’s kids. I think this role can only be filled by aunts who have no kids of their own as that’s how it was with me. My single aunts were fabulous and doted on me while my aunts with kids of their own didn’t have the time. No, it’s not the same, but it helps!

 

[Mee]

Aunts can actually be formative. I know of two aunts who are the people nieces/ nephews turn to or have even lived with at times.

I really think aunts are amazing. I actually also reckon you would be a good one Eve. As an aunt ;)

 

[Sweetleaf]

Respond with a pained/teary face, quivering lip if you can, stuttering out a choked “I can’t have kids of my own”.....quickly covering your face (if only to hide the non-existent tears) and rapidly exiting stage left.

Hahahaha. That would be hilarious to pull off. Oh f*ck lol. Know what really aggravates me? Them circlejerking over their pregnancies that took place f*cking -years- ago. Like holy shit I wouldn't care as much if they were like, pregnant -while- complaining about it - I think that's another story, in that they're literally experiencing it at that moment, not like, circlejerking about it -years- down the road. f*cking hell lol. You figure they'd get it out of their systems eventually. It's almost always -all- people who had their kid/kids years ago, too.

Maybe it’s mean, but as my therapist says, the issue of having kids or not is EXTREMELY private and nobody’s f*cking business. People need to learn that this issue is very painful for many of us and not be so damn rude.

Ugh, yeah, for sure. They don't even think about the fact that there could be sterile people who exist on this planet - so often, so so often, they also don't give one single f*ck when they find out someone is sterile and hates it - they show no sympathy, just kinda dismiss it like it's no big deal and it doesn't matter.

The insensitive shit that has been said to me just blows my mind!

ugh yeah I feel you there. :banghead:

I’m determined to be that super f*cking cool aunt to my sister’s kids.

Yeah that's one thing I'd like - I don't know if my sister will ever have kids though. She's never been in a relationship, I don't really know if she's ever even had sex, she's always lived with my mom, even though she has a good job. IMO she is kind of socially stunted in that she never did young people shit. My mom always had too much control/influence, she always remained the goodie two-shoes - it's just, that has resulted in her like having no social life. She doesn't go out and do things, she doesn't really have much of a life - just goes around attached to my mother at the hip. Overburdening parenting at work - I bailed as soon as I could lmao, moved the f*ck out.

She's also very panicky about medical stuff - always has been. It can make her faint and have seizures - she once even broke her arm in the doctor's office, fainting because of being told too much lol. She is like, hyper squeamish, just -describing- medical shit to her, medical shit that has nothing to do with her body - can make her start to wig out. I kind of think she might be too afraid of medical stuff to have kids, perhaps. But who knows. She is trying to date this guy at her work, I think, or is at least interested in him, swapped numbers, and they've been texting. Hasn't gone on any dates with him but, at least this is an improvement over her years of being totally uninterested in anyone.

Teaching both helped and triggered me, in regards to feeling bad about my sterility. The other staff members were the ones who triggered me, the kids themselves didn't trigger me though.