My Abuser Contacted Me. What Can I Do?

[Red Dog]

My abuser (who is currently at a maximum security facility-has been incarcerated for many years) wrote me a letter after no contact for many, many years. I figured he'd be able to do an internet search and be able to send me a letter. I read it and it was pretty disturbing. He actually has some kind of sick explanation for why everything he did was okay and is in complete denial about anything that resembles reality.

My counselor and I talked and she said an advocacy group could call and talk on my behalf. How can I keep myself safe? I have been having paranoid thoughts. I have been getting depressed and it's connected to this f*cking letter. What can I do?

I was doing really well and I am in a strong place in my life and then this shit happened. I could really use a boost from the PTSD Forum community.

 

[Muzikluvr]

Hey Red Dog,

I'm so sorry you received that letter. I hope you will be able to take the words written by this abuser and use them to get closure. Not only is he obviously a sick man, but he's now written down his sick inner reasoning for why he did what he did. I'm not sure if I'd even look at what he says anymore, unless you believe any of it might be true... and then I'd suggest looking at it with your counselor to get a good counter argument against those written defenses of his actions.

Do you feel unsafe because he knows where you live? Will he ever get out of prison? Will authorities alert you if he is scheduled for release? If you receive another letter from him, could you have someone else open it and just read it for your safety? If he has anything relevant to say, it should be given to authorities anyway, otherwise he's just messing with your mind. What do you have to do with him anymore anyway... it's not like you could drop the charges and let him out. I would definitely send a copy of the letter to the parole board in hopes that it keeps him from getting parole.

I'm sorry, I don't have much to offer. I hope you feel safe soon. You have the right to be safe in your own home.

Take care,
Muz

 

[The Albatross]

I think I'd call the penitentiary and find out how or when to have his letter to you at his parole hearing if or when one comes up. Talk to your counselor and find out about your options and perhaps if a restraining/no contact order can be put into place.

 

[ms spock]

I agree write or contact the prison your abuser is in and let them know what has happened. I think a restraining order is a solid idea.

 

[WillyKat]

I think I'd call the penitentiary and find out how or when to have his letter to you at his parole hearing if or when one comes up. Talk to your counselor and find out about your options and perhaps if a restraining/no contact order can be put into place.

In the meantime, you can take any further letters and just put them away without reading. Treat them as evidence. Maybe you could have a friend or your counsellor file them away somewhere, where it won't be near you.

Another option is to take a red pen, draw a line through your name and address on the letter, and write "Refused." I *think* the USPS will return it to the sender.