I_Am_Titanium
Bronze Member
I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
My ex was abusive to me for over 20 years. I realized this after being diagnosed with PTSD (due to an abusive parent and past abusive relationships) and seeing a trauma counselor. After we went to four marriage counselors (and the abuse continued), I decided to file for divorce. I filed and then told him I filed. He flipped out which I can understand to a point. The next two years were basically hell for me and the children. He was probably in his own hell as well. He tried to alienate the children against me repeatedly. I witnessed it first hand and I kept the texts he sent to our oldest child telling him what a horrible person I am. He tried to convince everyone we knew that I was abusive to him. He harassed me in person, online (I blocked him and such), and in emails to the point that I had to have a friend read my emails for me because it triggers me too much. I had to call the police when he broke my door down one day because he was furious with me.
So now he's demanding an apology from me via email for the horrible way I treated him before and during the divorce. He says I intentionally set out to hurt him, that I made his life hell, and so on. During counseling I admitted and apologized for my part in the failure of my marriage (lack of communication and such) to him. I don't recall getting an apology for the abuse or whatever he felt his part in it was but whatever.
His demand feels like a slap in the face because I feel I bent over backwards to try and make the divorce as easy on everyone as I possibly could. First he claimed and told everyone I kicked him out of the house. I did no such thing. I was actually preparing to leave with the children so he could stay in the house. Now he claims I had a court order to have him physically removed. There is no such document. My attorney and I were going to ask the judge to decide who got to stay in the house. He physically moved out before the temporary orders hearing and moved in with a friend.
I let him have anything in the house except for what I considered my personal belongings (clothes, jewelry, pictures). I fixed up the house and prepared it for sale without ANY help from him. I took care of the children 100% of the time without ANY help from him once he moved out. He even told me point blank that he wouldn't help me with the children to make sure I knew what it would be like to be a single parent.
It seems like he's rewriting history and there may be some gaslighting in there too. I'm so glad I document all the divorce stuff and keep a journal. I know I'm not crazy or imagining these things.
Has anyone else's abuser demanded an apology from them?
My ex was abusive to me for over 20 years. I realized this after being diagnosed with PTSD (due to an abusive parent and past abusive relationships) and seeing a trauma counselor. After we went to four marriage counselors (and the abuse continued), I decided to file for divorce. I filed and then told him I filed. He flipped out which I can understand to a point. The next two years were basically hell for me and the children. He was probably in his own hell as well. He tried to alienate the children against me repeatedly. I witnessed it first hand and I kept the texts he sent to our oldest child telling him what a horrible person I am. He tried to convince everyone we knew that I was abusive to him. He harassed me in person, online (I blocked him and such), and in emails to the point that I had to have a friend read my emails for me because it triggers me too much. I had to call the police when he broke my door down one day because he was furious with me.
So now he's demanding an apology from me via email for the horrible way I treated him before and during the divorce. He says I intentionally set out to hurt him, that I made his life hell, and so on. During counseling I admitted and apologized for my part in the failure of my marriage (lack of communication and such) to him. I don't recall getting an apology for the abuse or whatever he felt his part in it was but whatever.
His demand feels like a slap in the face because I feel I bent over backwards to try and make the divorce as easy on everyone as I possibly could. First he claimed and told everyone I kicked him out of the house. I did no such thing. I was actually preparing to leave with the children so he could stay in the house. Now he claims I had a court order to have him physically removed. There is no such document. My attorney and I were going to ask the judge to decide who got to stay in the house. He physically moved out before the temporary orders hearing and moved in with a friend.
I let him have anything in the house except for what I considered my personal belongings (clothes, jewelry, pictures). I fixed up the house and prepared it for sale without ANY help from him. I took care of the children 100% of the time without ANY help from him once he moved out. He even told me point blank that he wouldn't help me with the children to make sure I knew what it would be like to be a single parent.
It seems like he's rewriting history and there may be some gaslighting in there too. I'm so glad I document all the divorce stuff and keep a journal. I know I'm not crazy or imagining these things.
Has anyone else's abuser demanded an apology from them?
