My Abusive Parents And My Young Cousins

[Missliberation]

I'm having a serious dilemma. I'm trying to keep calm about it but quite frankly I'm terrified. My parents were emotionally, psychologically and physically abusive to me through my childhood which is partly what caused my CPTSD.

My parents are in touch with my Aunt and Uncle who e three young children, and this concerns me a great deal. I haven't been able to tell my Aunt and Uncle or the rest of family apart from my other Aunt and Uncle, due to fear. I don't know how much contact my parents have with the children and if they actually go to visit them. I feel it should be my duty to tell my Aunt and Uncle about the abuse so they can protect their children, but I think chances of them believing me in the first place is very low, as they trust my parents so much.

I talked about it umpteen times with the counsellor and come to the conclusion there's not a lot I can do. But it worries me sick!

 

[Deleted member 541]

Unless your parents babysit for your aunts and uncles children I don't see that there is anything that you can do. You said you don't even know how much contact your parents have with them, so I'm not sure why you are so upset. I think maybe you are overthinking things and making yourself worry over something that you know nothing about.

 

[Missliberation]

Unless your parents babysit for your aunts and uncles children I don't see that there is anything that yo...

I don't know if my parents babysit them currently. I know they did in the past.

 

[rosey]

This is a hard one @Missliberation at the end of the day it comes down to 2 things what you believe to be the right thing to do is and if you would be willing to do that.

I was in a situation where I knew my abuser had contact with children (socially not working with) and felt soooo responsible that i could think of nothing else. in the end I reported him to the police. I knew when I picked the phone up that it was the right thing for me to do as i couldn't live any longer holding the responsibility. I also knew it would mean having to cut all ties with my family (the abuser was not a family member btw). It was a hard decision but I knew it was a.the right thing and b. that i could handle the consequences hard as it was.

If you speak out then you need to be prepared for losing your family either by your own choice or them cutting you off. I would strongly suggest talking to a therapist about this and certainly if you do decide to talk to your relatives as you will need support.

it really is an awful position to be in i really feel for you

 

[Deleted member 541]

So what exactly has fueled this recent desire to alert your aunt and uncle? Your parents babysat for your cousins before and you didn't say anything, and now you don't even know what contact your parents have with them, and yet you want to call your aunt and uncle and spill everything to them??? I'm not quite understanding the lapse here??? If not then, WHY now??????

 

[Nessa7]

Just to clarify, are the aunt and uncle that know on a different side of the family than the ones that don't?

 

[Missliberation]

So what exactly has fueled this recent desire to alert your aunt and uncle? Your parents babysat for you...

Because I wasn't aware what I'd encountered was abuse at that stage as it was pretty much all I'd known -_-

 

[Missliberation]

Just to clarify, are the aunt and uncle that know on a different side of the family than the ones that d...

All on the same side, my mum's side.

 

[EveHarrington]

Are you ok with losing your whole family? I'm not trying to say that the kids aren't important, rather if you aren't in a place to be cut off, verbally/emotionally attacked and trash talked to everyone your parents, aunts & uncles know-------then maybe hold off.

 

[Nessa7]

All on the same side, my mum's side.

In that case, I think it is important to remember that you're not the only one in the family that knows about what your parents have done. You told your other aunt and uncle, who are likely in a better position to protect your nieces and nephews than you are. I would consider it to be primarily their duty, since it doesn't sound like you have a lot of contact with your parents or the family members that you would like to warn. When you told your aunt and uncle, you shared any duty that you might have to protect other people from your parents.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I still don't think that there is much you can do at this point. If you do decide to talk, then you open up a can of worms. And at this point you still don't know if your parents have contact with the kids.