Therapist Insisting My Abusive Parents Love Me

[Deleted member 37343]

Are you over the age of 18?

I am 18 about to turn 19 soon.

 

[Deleted member 37343]

I am going to get off track a sec.
Ever think of moving? Find a job, live with a friend?
Rent a room a...

Yes I heavily have and trust me, I really do want to get out of here. I'm trying to save as much as I can to move out. I do have a friend who's family is willing to let me move in, but only my friend knows about my situation. I'm slowly trying to talk to the mother about it. I'm hesitant to move in though because of the burden I'll cause. The mother already has three kids, they're just about ready to move. I'd be coming home late at random times because of my work and school, and they live/will be living in an expensive area and I can't afford to assist with rent and other expenses. I don't want to just move in and not help with anything like payment and stuff I use up or the space I use.. I just feel like I'd be a huge burden to them. It'll be awkward and weird.

 

[Deleted member 37343]

(Assuming that) You're an adult; it falls more into a 'parents stalking their adult child'.

I knew she was being really into my space.. but I actually didn't even think of the label as "stalking" but now that you mention it, I'm slowly starting to see that now..

 

[Deleted member 37343]

Are you a minor? (don't have to answer unless you want to.)

Living with abusers and being dependent...

yes she is and no I don't. I'm pretty paranoid of my parents watching me and so I'm hesitant to do stuff unless I'm very sure they won't find out. Or if the chances are low..

Not yet, but there is a scheduled date for the assessment.

 

[Deleted member 37343]

Are you a minor? (don't have to answer unless you want to.)

Living with abusers and being dependent...

And no i'm not a minor but it's hard to be independent because they're constantly "holding my shoulders" and looking over me.

 

[Gs172003]

Y

Sorry I know I'm being confusing, I feel like I'm all over the place responding to these things. The pol...

You just contradicted yourself. Have you told her everything that you have to or not? There is a reason she is siding with your parents. Same with the police. Not wanting to talk about it is common, but they can't just figure it out either.

 

[Gs172003]

Yes I heavily have and trust me, I really do want to get out of here. I'm trying to save as much as I ca...

If you can't help financially can you help in other ways? Such as with the kids, cooking, cleaning, etc? Would that make you feel better about staying there?

 

[Deleted member 37343]

Y

You just contradicted yourself. Have you told her everything that you have to or not? There is a reas...

No I've only spoken about things she's brought up. I've told her the extent my parents went to, (except for sexual abuse), the type of manipulation they do, how they act around other people, etc. The only thing I didn't tell her about is the sexual abuse really.

 

[Deleted member 37343]

If you can't help financially can you help in other ways? Such as with the kids, cooking, cleaning, etc?...

Not really. I mean of course I would, but I do that at the house I live in now so I feel like I should be doing that anyways, as well as paying. I don't help pay for the house I'm in now and with my parents, I feel like I'm lucky for that.. So being able to help pay I feel is something extra to show that I'm really thankful and all that, but in the long run when I need to move out of that place too, I feel like I wouldn't be able to afford living on my own rather than if I were to save as much as I can now and find better paying jobs once done with college.

I'm also worried about just living with them in general. The more time I spend with them the more likely my "mental health" will show. My friend has spent a lot of time with me so she knows about all of the problems I face, but not the rest of the family and I'd be nervous to know how.. I know I'm not but it feels it.. to know how "crazy" or "mentally unstable" i am. :\

 

[Gs172003]

No I've only spoken about things she's brought up. I've told her the extent my parents went to, (except...

This is why she doesn't get it.

 

[Gs172003]

Not really. I mean of course I would, but I do that at the house I live in now so I feel like I should b...

I understand.

 

[Abstract]

No, I don't agree that's why she doesn't get it.

Yes it would make it easier for your t to see the level and range of their dysfunction but the rest of what you have described is something in and of itself. Its not normal behaviour.