My bipolar moods (with severity)

[MrMoonlight]

I got to say that I crocheted my hair into what I was crochetting, and so I had to tear it out and recrochet it. LOL...snip...

You should start every day crocheting your hair into a nice pair of mittens. :P Thanks for the laugh..too funny. So happy you are doing better.

 

[Changing4Best]

Well, I woke up humming today, so there is hope....

 

[Changing4Best]

I find myself being super sensitive today. When I got to work, someone else started to take care of my client as I was signing us in. When I came into the main room, someone had already gotten some coffee for my client and some cookies, something that I usually do. They also put creamer into the coffee. Now a long time ago, my client said that they like their coffee BLACK, so I mentioned this to the person who had gotten the coffee and was told that my client had said they like creamer in their coffee. (!) So all I could say was that, that had not been what my client had told me when I had asked. (ages ago). Someone made a snide comment that I must not have listened very carefully. Well, that did it. I felt like crying. But this IS ridiculous. I know what my client told me. I know that my client has been drinking black coffee for the last 6 months without any mention of cream. But since the person who is 2nd in command got him the coffee, and EVERYONE knows who is above who on the chain of command, then it must be ME who is wrong. UGH.

Then she came over and hugged my client ans said, "You just like your coffee however anyone serves it to you, don't you, Sweetie." And my client smiled and I sort of could put it all behind me. Sort of. But the snide comment that was made was really not appreciated by me at all. It still sticks in my craw.

 

[Changing4Best]

OK, so my Pdoc prescribed Pristiq and the dang insurance company is asking for a prior authorization and that means that there will be a wait, for how long I have no clue, sigh.... I called the insurance company and told them about the SI and that I need the drug like yesterday, and she said she would put that into the file.

 

[Changing4Best]

I even called my Pdoc's office and said that I would be willing to go onto Welbutrin instead of the Pristiq, if this was going to take too long. Nothing has come into my pharmacy so far, I just called. Usually I am a patient person, but in a situation like this, I get a bit impatient. So I just prayed to God that this is His to handle. I am done trying to make it happen. All I know is that He is more likely to get results than I am!

 

[Changing4Best]

Well, I wrote a long prayer to God this morning, handing over to Him this thing that has so troubled me for so long. I gave up on it, in other words. I put the prayer into my God Box and asked Him to take care of it for me.

Well! My boss treated me kindly today. She was actually pleasant, for the first time in a long time. So I was pleasant to her too.

Then the day went better. It wasn't perfect. No day is, it was just better. And about tomorrow, I have hope. BIG HOPE.

Things went well with my client today, as they usually do. About that, I am always grateful to God. He helps me to do my job. I ask Him to help me with it often. It is funny what I ask God for help with and what I forget to ask Him for help with sometimes. But I get around to asking Him for His help with everything sooner or later....

 

[Changing4Best]

Waiting is sometimes hard! I want tomorrow to be here now. I want to get on with this. I know.... "Patience is a virtue." I will try!

 

[Changing4Best]

So I had my eval for therapy today. I mentioned near the beginning of the session that I was applying for Trauma Therapy, but when he asked me what my goals were I forgot to mention it specifically again. I did say that I wanted to learn how to deal with when folks get angry with me (which I don't handle well) and I said I wanted to handle the bullying situations that keep coming up in my life. I hope he remembered that I said I was applying for Trauma Therapy. If he did not remember to put that into the notes, I will mention it to the therapist. I am scheduled with her on the 16th of this month.

 

[Changing4Best]

I realized today that my parents always responded with anger when
having anger spewed at the other. In other words, if my father spewed
anger at my mother, she responded with it back to him and if she
spewed anger at him, he, of course, responded in anger. So it is very
hard for me NOT to respond to anger without using anger. I did not
explain this to the interviewer well enough, I just said that I was
badly affected by anger when it is thrown at me, or words to that
affect. Anyway, I had the realization AFTER the interview. So I guess
I will have to share it with the Therapist when I see her on the
afternoon of the 16th. I also told him I wanted to handle this
bullying situation that continually comes up in my life. I said it is
like it is written on my forehead, "BULLY ME!" He assigned me a woman
named Faith, so I hope that she is Christian, like her name implies. I
did mention that I am a United Methodist and that I am active in my
faith.

 

[Nessa7]

I'm glad to hear that you're close to starting therapy. It is really hard to remember everything you need to say during that first evaluation. Even though I've done three this summer, I didn't get any better at remembering everything. I think I actually kept forgetting more stuff each time!

 

[Changing4Best]

There was a girl who showed up after I did with an emergency, who just had to see the interviewer BEFORE my appointment. So he moved my appointment up 45 minutes so that he could see her, so my time with him was rushed. I suppose if it had been my emergency, I would have appreciated it, but of course, since it was not, I did not. I am glad that they could be there for her when she needed them though. That's in hindsight, of course. Like I know that if it had been me in her shoes, I would have wanted help right then and there too. Anyway, it will all come to light, what needs to come to light, in my therapy or in my next intake eval.

 

[Changing4Best]

Well, the other bully has been being a smart a** now that the first bully has behaved himself. So I told him off nicely today, in a kidding kind of way. He took it well, but I doubt that he will keep at it now that I have given "it" to him on a silver platter. He has been a wise a** for years, everyone knows this about him and even the Senior Center Director gives him some jokingly telling offs sometimes. She puts him in his place regularly, in other words. So I have a longer standing relationship with him and feel safer giving "it" back to him, when he sasses me. I got this, in other words. I can handle this one. I feel confident in doing so, in other words. Not all bullies "get" to me the way the other one does, in other words. I am not sure what the difference is, but there IS a difference.

I spoke to the other bully yesterday. Someone asked me to pass a message on to him, this other bully, in fact. I had a feeling this bully was trying to stir up trouble between us and I could have refused, but I did it anyway. I was pleasant and passed the message on to the mean spirited bully and he (of course) made no reply. I didn't expect one. However, I know I did the right thing. I was kind to him. I didn't have to be. But I did it. And that was that.