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My birthday and alone again

I seem to find myself alone on my birthday. For the last 15 years, I was with someone that did not care about my birthday or mothers day. I grew up with few friends so I did not celebrate in the traditional way. Today my boyfriend is in another state for work. This is just difficult for me as I have always wanted someone to spend this day with. I will be fine but one year I would like to feel special. Not forgotten. Not alone.
 
here i go with the problem envy again. . . my favorite birthdays are the ones i **get** to spend alone. with my 69th birthday around the corner, i haven't gotten too many alone days for my birthday, but i keep dreaming.

i was born exactly 4 years and one day after my oldest five brothers. proof unavailable, but i suspect he was not pleased with the baby sister he got for his fourth birthday. for sure he hated sharing his subsequent birthdays with the bratty little sister. i didn't get alone days for any of those birthdays, either. our shared birthday parties were hard to describe. i don't believe the word "happy" ever fit my own description.

then we get to mother's day. . .
ouch. . .

if only we could trade places for those controversial days. . . if only. . .
 
It really does hurt, I know. I was with a guy who didn’t like holidays or birthdays, so he would never do anything for me on those days. He knew how much I love those days but it didn’t matter. I think of it this way. If my partner loved something that I didn’t and it was just once a damn year then I’d support them in that event even if I didn’t love it down to my bones. And this is the point. A partner who won’t take ONE DAY a year to just make you feel happy isn’t a partner who actually cares about you. They are in the relationship only for what they get out of it and not to even attempt to make you happy. He ruined my last birthday too even though he was not my boyfriend at that point, sent me flowers, called me beautiful and then bam, immediately started to ignore me again. My birthdays alone were so much better because I didn’t have the eggshell feeling of knowing I’ll be ignored. I’d plan the days to be fun and do what I wanted to do.

We all want to feel loved and a partner who doesn’t try in the least means the relationship is lonelier than simply being single.
 
here i go with the problem envy again. . . my favorite birthdays are the ones i **get** to spend alone. with my 69th birthday around the corner, i haven't gotten too many alone days for my birthday, but i keep dreaming.

i was born exactly 4 years and one day after my oldest five brothers. proof unavailable, but i suspect he was not pleased with the baby sister he got for his fourth birthday. for sure he hated sharing his subsequent birthdays with the bratty little sister. i didn't get alone days for any of those birthdays, either. our shared birthday parties were hard to describe. i don't believe the word "happy" ever fit my own description.

then we get to mother's day. . .
ouch. . .

if only we could trade places for those controversial days. . . if only. . .
I get it. I'm the first born - a girl. Not wanted because my dad wanted a boy as the first born. He got his son two years after me. I cannot imagine what you went through. I hope one day we both get our "happy". Thank you for posting.

What would that look like, for you?
Someone planning the day for me rather than me having to plan my own day. I am girly and love girly stuff on this day. Spa stuff, a special dinner made for me, extra loving and hugging (I am really touchy feely in spite of my trauma), and a chocolate cake from Publix with sunflowers. And the beach for the drum circle and sunset.

It really does hurt, I know. I was with a guy who didn’t like holidays or birthdays, so he would never do anything for me on those days. He knew how much I love those days but it didn’t matter. I think of it this way. If my partner loved something that I didn’t and it was just once a damn year then I’d support them in that event even if I didn’t love it down to my bones. And this is the point. A partner who won’t take ONE DAY a year to just make you feel happy isn’t a partner who actually cares about you. They are in the relationship only for what they get out of it and not to even attempt to make you happy. He ruined my last birthday too even though he was not my boyfriend at that point, sent me flowers, called me beautiful and then bam, immediately started to ignore me again. My birthdays alone were so much better because I didn’t have the eggshell feeling of knowing I’ll be ignored. I’d plan the days to be fun and do what I wanted to do.

We all want to feel loved and a partner who doesn’t try in the least means the relationship is lonelier than simply being single.
Thank you for your post. It is comforting to know someone else gets it. I hope you get your ideal birthday. With someone that truly appreciates you. Crossing my fingers for both of us.
 
I seem to find myself alone on my birthday. For the last 15 years, I was with someone that did not care about my birthday or mothers day. I grew up with few friends so I did not celebrate in the traditional way. Today my boyfriend is in another state for work. This is just difficult for me as I have always wanted someone to spend this day with. I will be fine but one year I would like to feel special. Not forgotten. Not alone.
I have a few wishes and birthday present from mum and mhy best friend so its okay!!!
 
I seem to find myself alone on my birthday. For the last 15 years, I was with someone that did not care about my birthday or mothers day. I grew up with few friends so I did not celebrate in the traditional way. Today my boyfriend is in another state for work. This is just difficult for me as I have always wanted someone to spend this day with. I will be fine but one year I would like to feel special. Not forgotten. Not alone.
Id like to share something with you , I've only made one other comment on here before n mainly read threw the threads...I was feeling very blue yesterday myself n my mom spoke to me from heaven ..she lead me to a post ..I was crying n sad too..I was asking her why should I go on alone...I was lead to a post that said....the sun 🌞 is alone but shine so bright ...I knew it was a direct message from her because at that point I didn't even want to live till my mom showed me ... happy late birthday 🎈🎂🎈🎂🎈 shine bright 🌞
 
Id like to share something with you , I've only made one other comment on here before n mainly read threw the threads...I was feeling very blue yesterday myself n my mom spoke to me from heaven ..she lead me to a post ..I was crying n sad too..I was asking her why should I go on alone...I was lead to a post that said....the sun 🌞 is alone but shine so bright ...I knew it was a direct message from her because at that point I didn't even want to live till my mom showed me ... happy late birthday 🎈🎂🎈🎂🎈 shine bright 🌞
Thank you so much for your post. I’m so glad you posted. It seems the universe wanted us to connect. My boyfriend calls me his sunshine. Your words have had a very positive effect on me. I am grateful you saw that post and shared. I feel less alone and I really hope you do to. Thank you, again, for such a meaningful post.
 
here i go with the problem envy again. . . my favorite birthdays are the ones i **get** to spend alone. with my 69th birthday around the corner, i haven't gotten too many alone days for my birthday, but i keep dreaming.

i was born exactly 4 years and one day after my oldest five brothers. proof unavailable, but i suspect he was not pleased with the baby sister he got for his fourth birthday. for sure he hated sharing his subsequent birthdays with the bratty little sister. i didn't get alone days for any of those birthdays, either. our shared birthday parties were hard to describe. i don't believe the word "happy" ever fit my own description.

then we get to mother's day. . .
ouch. . .

if only we could trade places for those controversial days. . . if only. . .

I think I envy you getting to spend your birthday alone. Mine is next week and I have just been informed that I will be driving 40 minutes to go to dinner at a restaurant I didn't choose. Sure makes it convenient for them! I would much rather stay home and just go to dinner with my husband or pizza with the neighbors. This birthday is already stressing me out. :(

Just writing this out brings tears to my eyes. I can't wait for it to be over. It is not the birthday that bothers me - I really don't care much about birthdays. I just don't want to go to any dinner with my family, especially if I have to be the "guest of honor". Ugg!! I hate being in the spotlight- a lot!
 
I seem to find myself alone on my birthday. For the last 15 years, I was with someone that did not care about my birthday or mothers day. I grew up with few friends so I did not celebrate in the traditional way. Today my boyfriend is in another state for work. This is just difficult for me as I have always wanted someone to spend this day with. I will be fine but one year I would like to feel special. Not forgotten. Not alone.
My husband was in hospital for my birthday somebody said happy birthday and I spontaneously burst into tears I had no idea I felt so horrible inside I’m tearing up now sometimes I don’t know what’s going on inside until it erupts
 
My husband was in hospital for my birthday somebody said happy birthday and I spontaneously burst into tears I had no idea I felt so horrible inside I’m tearing up now sometimes I don’t know what’s going on inside until it erupts
Then, Happy belated birthday! Mine is this month too. I had to have a dinner party with my family-half an hour away. (I thought it was my birthday, not theirs) I hope you feel better soon.
 
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