Relationship My boyfriend disappeared

Kitty.A

Learning
So me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and been friends for a about two year before hand, he’s a veteran that’s served in Iraq and and has pretty back anxiety, depression and PTDS. Things have been been amazing between us however he disappeared on me the last thing he said to me was “ goodnight I love you” on Tuesday night and now it’s Saturday and I haven’t heard a peep from him he’s actually blocked me. But he hasn’t just blocked me he blocked his best friends too. We’ve never had any issues in the relationship and we have very open communication which is why I’m so surprised cause he normally just tells me when he’s struggling but this time he just dropped off the face of the Earth and no one can reach him. Could this be his PTSD?
 

HisWife22

Sponsor
Do you think he’ll come back
That is impossible to answer.

I personally DO think he will come back around eventually. But I also think that he will do this again in the future, maybe often, if he does. I can't diagnose your relationship, because I don't know you/him, but from what you've posted here? My gut says you should begin processing this as an end to your relationship. He may come back, he may not - but YOU are hurt, and YOU need to focus on your own mental health.
 

Kitty.A

Learning
That is impossible to answer.

I personally DO think he will come back around eventually. But I also think that he will do this again in the future, maybe often, if he does. I can't diagnose your relationship, because I don't know you/him, but from what you've posted here? My gut says you should begin processing this as an end to your relationship. He may come back, he may not - but YOU are hurt, and YOU need to focus on your own mental health.
I don’t wanna lose him
 

Mee

MyPTSD Pro
I don’t wanna lose him


I think my husband would say the same about me .

I’m probably harder on myself, harder on others and having experienced cutting off people ( like your boyfriend has done)

I’d ask if you are prepared to live with the unpredictability and the drama that could even create a trauma bond unless you are incredibly grounded?

Sometimes what you love most passionately can bring great pain into your life.

Others suggested good boundaries before like “you can disappear into the hills when you need too but you have to tell me you are going so I am not left worried” . If he does come back it might be an idea to consider what your boundaries are for your well being and communicate them kindly but clearly, even write them down for yourself if you need to.

I hope you get answers. Whether it’s a hiatus or the end it’s a horrid , painful , empty feeling that can have us look at ourselves for fault and cause damage that need not be caused.
 

Freida

MyPTSD Pro
When I would run I always thought it was a good thing for those around me...because then they didn't have to put up with my drama. Never dawned on me it might upset them.

Because when I was in that place? Nothing mattered but escaping. NOTHING.
Hubby and I set those "you have to tell me when you are leaving" boundaries and I"m pretty good about them these days. But it was a long hard road to get there. Because once the runner brain hits its really really hard to get it back in it's box

And yes. If this is his default reaction chances are high it will happen again. Which sucks.

But I think it's important to remember that:
YOU didn't cause this.
YOU weren't the reason for his actions
YOU didn't do anything wrong.
No matter how this ends, YOU are not to blame.
 
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