Relationship My Boyfriend Has Ptsd - I Feel He Is Pushing Me Away

[Idreaminchanel]

I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 years and want to become his wife. He suffers from PTSD and we discuss it at length. He does advocacy around veterans and medication and it does help to listen and be around other wives and girlfriends. My boyfriend broke up with me last week, but had been pulling away for at least a month. Like everyone on this thread I am very in love and only want the best for us both. I don't want to walk away, but am unsure how to be here for him/us.

 

[Kimbab]

I've known this guy for over a year and we went to school together. We lost contact and 6 months ago he ended up contacting me again and we started dating. Everything was great and our love blossomed, but now we live together and I'm noticing that everything that you ladies are experiencing are the same for me. It's so hard to feel loved one day and then be treated like nothing the next couple of days and weeks. I do love him dearly, but I've been in relationships that have crushed and hurt me, so it's really hard to know and understand what to do now. He has moments where his only reply will be " I don't know" or " I don't feel anything" and on one hand i want to be there and support him and not leave him like his ex wife, but then it's hard when you risk letting someone hurt you and your pride. I don't like feeling like I can't help when he puts on face and smiles for others. I just don't know what to do.

 

[Empath16]

I'm experiencing much of the same things you all are. The push/pull is difficult. The distance, isolation, closed off ways are really hard to deal with when it's got nothing to do with anything you've personally done. He had been pulling away from me for a month and broke it off with me earlier this week. I checked on him today, texted and asked if he was ok, told him he's on my mind, he's missed and loved. He replied thanks for thinking of me but no acknowledgment to the miss & love. It's hard as cement to not get reciprocated love and affection from the love of your life. I really just want him to get healing but I need to figure out how to heal my broken heart.

 

[MonicaJ76]

Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 months he is due to retire in May from the Navy and he told me last week that he was in love with me but this week I have seen and felt him drifting away. Last night he told me he need space because nothing is right in his life anymore, I know for a fact its PTSD and I told him Im there for him but I cannot handle the ins and outs and ups and downs.

I gave him his space and told him to text me when he wants to talk. Should I be there for him or give him his space

 

[Ann]

Hi

I'm recently going through a very similar problem. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship of 10 months. We meet online while away on training (he's in the military). For the first month it was constant attention and affection. He would go out of his way to find a way to be with me.

Unfortunately he was deployed for 7 months and when he left he asked me to commit and be in a relationship with him. It was going to be hard but we will make it through and we were.

I noticed a change in him when he was overseas. He started becoming distant, didn't think much of it. He's at war, of course he's being distant. His deployment kept getting longer and longer and I could see it taking a tole on him. There was no more talk of him coming to see me, things that we were going to do.... oh and by the way he lives 3hr drive away so it's not like we can pop over and see each other.

He has kids and I have kids, plus he lives with his ex. Took me awhile to get over that but ever since he's been back it's like pulling teeth to get him to see me. It's been working out to one day a month that we get to spend together. We used to talk every day, we'd go a few days in between but the days are becoming longer.

He finally confident in me that his minds not there and he doesn't think he can make the time I need. He hasn't said he doesn't want a relationship with me. I even told him that I'm not breaking up with him so if he wants me I will stick by him but he needs to choose what he wants.

I've fallen for him and I don't want to quit but how can I help him see what he saw before. He's fallen back into his co-parenting marriage. It's fimiliar and he has his kids 24/7. Which he says the kids ground him. I even asked if he wanted to introduce the kids make it a little easier to share and spend time together. He just said he wasn't ready for that and that's fine, I'm personally not in a hurry but I just don't know how to help him.

He's going to therapy in 2 weeks through his work part of the reintegration process. So as per usual lately I won't hear from him till who knows when. When he returned home he never reactivated his cell phone, so we only can communicate via a app we use, skype or email.

I know what a lot of you are probably thinking, he's playing me but I trust him. We've been open and honest since the day we met, we have no secrets.

Does anyone have any advice for me, been through something similar?