My Daughter Got Beat Up By Her Husband Last Night While She Was Asleep

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you safenow. I appreciate the support, it is keeping me going.

Good news. They took his phone number to locate him. I did not know they will do that. So he will be served for sure. I am so happy about that.

She will go on Friday to apply for welfare. I hope they give it to her without any problems. She needs the income. She has no resources. Tommorow when I see her I will write her a check for a hundred dollars. As long as I am around I will see to it that she has resources.

The girls had a minimum day today. So she will have them do some things. They are doing much better although the little girl misses her dad. This is going to be traumatic on her. I hope my daughter puts them into therapy at some point.

I am so thankful they never relocated to a different state like they planned. I was so afraid they were going to relocate. That would have been terrible. Mabe when this is all over he will relocate because he is the one who wanted to do it.

So that is all the update I have for now. After he is served she will get a courtdate. It is a slow process. On the order it says he still has to pay the mortgage. All of this help for her.

I am feeling so much better about everything.

 

[safenow]

I am so pleased things are going well for all of you. Lets hope it stays that way.

I hope you can get some much needed rest.
(((( gizmo ))))

 

[ms spock]

I hope it continues to go as best as it can gizmo!

 

[71nothing]

Continued hugs and positive thoughts for you an your family. I hope it continues to go in a good direction.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

He got served at work!!!!! Her court date for the order is March 4th. I am so happy and she is so happy. So he has to continue to stay away from her. I think this is wonderful. It gives him time to cool off.

My daughter did it. I am so proud of her. She still needs to file some more paperwork at the courthouse. Mabe she can file for divorce while she is there.

This has been such a ordeal. I am so thankful that he is respecting the stay away order. I guess the judge will have to choose a day for him to come over and get his stuff.

I have been taking naps. I talk to my daughter several times a day on the phone. I see and talk to her so much more than when he was there.

I will go over to her house tommorow. I have some Valentines Day treats I bought them to drop off.

Things are going smoothly. He is supposed to pay the mortgage according to the order. I hope he does it. If he does not it gives her six months to stay in the house before they foreclose.

If I have to pay for movers for her I will. We may have to pay to put some of her stuff in storage. On Friday she will go and apply for welfare. I hope that goes goes smoothly for her too.

I am so proud of her. The little girl misses her dad. I do not know if she will ever see him again. I am so hoping he will relocate when this is all over.

I am so happy that he has to continue to stay away from her. I am beginning to feel safe once again. We still keep our doors locked. Thank you so much for your continued support, it keeps me going. You cannot see the bruises on her face anymore.

But she still hurts from his blows

 

[71nothing]

Great news Gizmo! I'm so glad he was served and so far is respecting the order of perfection. Your daughter is a brave and strong person and is lucky to have you as her mother.

 

[anni]

I'm awfully happy to have your daughter's story here. Yes, I understand it's one still being written, with all the disclaimers, everything dire which could go 'wrong' but just because we hear all the awful stories doesn't mean those are the only ones which exist. Heck, I WAS one of the awful stories. You're both being careful, there's no T left uncrossed or i without a dot over it, you guys are ON with this stuff. It's just plain nice to hear the system working as intended across the board, thank goodness, helping women navigate the nightmare of domestic violence in dignity and comparative saftey.

I don't know what schools are like where you are, but ours here have counselors attached to the Guidance Dept., and the Guidance Counselors themselves do some. They're also really well connected in the social services across the board, might be able to hook your daughter up with some resources. I personally think ours lucked out by finding an awesome person who consistantly goes 'above and beyond', but bet yours has some wonderful people. I know your daughter is beyond busy and stretched, hate to dream up one more thing for her to do. Maybe it would actually mitigate her long list by being able to hand over some of the reins to other people.

Your daughter sounds smart enough to look around for help for herself, also, when the dust settles if not before. As you said, the blows you can't see will be there for awhile. Hugs for both of you, a genuine Valentine's wish to you both. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot anyone can tell you folks about plain, old Love. I think your family pretty much has it covered.

 

[winterose]

I am very happy to hear the biggest part of this is over with. Now she will have a better stance "if" he does anything. Hope your day with your daughter and gran-kids is beautiful and full of love for this day. :) Glad you got some sleep in too.

 

[Britt.f7]

Gizmo, I am so so sorry to hear this happened to your daughter. I don't understand people beating up people of either sex. When my mom died, we donated her belongings to a domestic violence shelter, it was her wish. My dad hit her once and that was all it took, thankfully, for her to get rid of him. I also know he broke my stepmother's jaw. She said she'd leave if he ever did it again. As far as I know, he hasn't. As a child, and even as an adult, it has been hard knowing he did that to women and still loving him.

I hope she can get the help she needs. I really hope she is protected and that he actually stays away. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[Eleanor]

Glad to hear things are moving ahead, and that nothing bad has happened. Very often domestic violence sufferers have trouble accepting help. A friend who worked at a shelter explained to me that when you have been so controlled, when you escape it is really really hard to both trust and let go of the reins to someone else. And they are separate issues. Even if you trust someone it is still hard to let them take over, even a little. I don't know if I am being very clear here. It does seem to help if the person gets the information that drawing appropriate boundaries around delegating responsibilities can be a particular challenge.

Wishing you all peace and healing.

 

[anni]

At a time when self-esteem must be at a dismal ebb, boy, it would be helpful for her to know she's doing an awesome job. When I was in a safe house, after one of the group sessions I asked the psychologist how many of the women there would end up going back to their abusers. There were women hiding from some awfully, awfully scary men but still getting caught trying to call them, it was insane. He said ' All of them '. Flattened me, so many trapped in that murderous, suicidal loop. I told him no, not this one. Not a thought towards that perspective because I was just lucky. I was raised by one of you, is the thing, don't remember how it was acheived but had the sheer stuffing to know I did not deserve any of this. I'm not actually patting myself on the back, my parents get this one.

You folks are doing awfully well, thanks for sharing your life and story. Much hugs.

 

[NIKI]

I am so glad he got served. He knows she is not kidding around. Your a wonderful mother, helping your daughter in every possible way you can. She is very lucky to have you.

(((Hugs for gizmo and her family)))