My Daughter Got Beat Up By Her Husband Last Night While She Was Asleep

[anni]

HA, with the computer problems. I'm on my trusty little notebook this morning because I don't know why the big whizzo computer refuses to recognize when I'm asking to go to this section of the forum. Unfortunately my notebook doesnt' like big sites any more, so typing this is taking forever. I'll be back when it's fixed! XXOO

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thanks for the support guys. I went out and bought a wireless mouse and at least I can access posts now. I am still having minor computer problems but I am able to manage them so far.

I will wait until my crises are over until I take it to he service center.

We have court dates coming up like a freight train and I need the support.

I had a technician look at my computer yesterday and he told me to go and buy a wireless mouse and I did so I can at least access posts and it is not sticking or freezing up on me at least.

anni I wish you the best on your computer, I understand totally.

 

[anni]

Ha! I just managed to GET here, so I'm kind of psyched. Yes, you understand, hysterical, isn't it? All this arguing with inanimate objects. I'm SO stupidly busy today, starting NOW ( had a er, fuel spill in the trunk requiring cat litte changes all week, don't ask....), thought I'd at least TRY to click in here for a hug.

I'm ridiculously please with myself that my computer allowed me in here, like I personally achieved something! Too funny.

Back tomorrow ( I do dearly hope. ) XXXOOO :)

 

[JustBe]

(((((((Anni))))))) ;) :hug:

This site quit working on my Droid so I installed an app to use the Firefox browser. So far so good...fingers crossed!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am beginning to get worried about what my daughters husband will plead on the third of April. I am so afraid he will plead not guilty and we will have to wait seven months for his trial and we will have to go through the ordeal of that.

My daughter spent the night at her sisters house.

We will go over to her house for Easter on Sunday. It will be a blast. I will write her a check for spending money for the week.

I am still having computer problems and am managing to post and to read. I will have to take it into the shop.

I am trying not to worry about my daughters husband. I do not want to go through the ordeal of a trial. If he loses he will go to jail. If he pleads guilty he will get a year probabtion. Either way he will lose his guns I hope.

Hugs anni. Thanks for trying.

 

[Eleanor]

All, just heard on the news tonight that there is an internet "gang war" going on - with massive denial of service attacks that work, in part, by hijacking PC's to send out lots of email. I have a computer with lots of bandwidth and it has been SLOWING DOWN terribly - I suspect because of that. I have helped it by clearing my cache a lot, and erasing all the cookies regularly. It occurred to me that this might be part of what is bogging everyone else down as well... Just a thought.

Don't borrow trouble gizmo. He will plead how he pleads. And you will all cope (well!) with whatever happens. You are all on the job now, and that makes a huge difference.

((((((Gizmo)))))))

 

[anni]

Ha, thanks Movin' On. There's just plain something going on, from alllll the reports of these problems, huh? ITL gave me a suggestion, to which I replied GREAT, so.... what's that? She said ask your son, so I did. It wasn't/isn't that. This comp has a massive memory, so is resistant to slowing down, it's just acting buggy while the notebook is acting like something from 1992, with a blinking curser. That whole gang war thing makes sense, although have been running Malware and 2 other virus scans. Who nows what these ridiculous cowards have been up to? Gizmo, SO sorry you have to take your comp to the shop, what a pain in the part of the body which exits the house last! I'm going to try Movin' On's suggestion. It took me 20 minutes for me to crawl into this thread, wearing camo, with my face painted and branches of leaves stuck in my hat. It's getting silly.

Ohhhhh, believe me, I understand loathing the idea of that long, slow cook over the fires of your own stomach acid waiting for trial. If he does get that far( and his lawyer, who is no doubt making payments on that 40 foot in-board boat he's had his eye on, WILL try to talk him into it. ) it will be over the sincere and irritated objections raised during those private conferences they have. Give that irritation 7 months to build, then allow the judge to listen to one HOUR of his nonsense ( You insisted on trial for WHAT?!? ) and he's going to get spanked. That should sustain you, or could, if that stupid loop starts playing in your head.

If he doesn't get his present charges completely dismissed, he's not getting his guns back.

I'm no expert, please believe, just have been through something similar, have a yellow ' Dummies ' edition of some teeny things which are helpful with enduring this stuff, in my head, you know? It's just really, really important for your own well-being that you're able to break that dumb loop. He simply canNOT be allowed to have such a choke hold on all your lives, right? I used to do a ton of things to prevent my head from constantly thinking about 'IT', and HIM ( insert drama music here). I mean, everything. Visualizations were huge, and not something I would stop everything and meditate about since they're so, so time consuming. I'd just do things like interrupt those fear-based thoughts with pictures in my head of HIM dressed in fish-net stockings and heels, generally a pink little girl's jumper, whatever, maybe some pony tails on his fat head. I'd also have serious ones, also, angels surrounding the house, holding us, then THAT one would go to heck because the angels would put him in a dog carrier andI'm pretty sure they don't do that.

I think what happens is, is this stuff just kind of interrupts your head from all the fear, plus does give a positive spin to what was a negative hole we were busy digging or ourselves, if that makes any sense. I'll bet the professionals have a name for it and will explain all the dynamics, I don't know enough to say.

I hope you do have a blast with your daughter, laugh way too hard, enjoy your holiday and of course have to help her deal with a child and the inevitable Easter sugar buzz. I hope it's a pleasant day for your husband also, maybe some of the whole joy /miracle thing which permeates Christ's resurrection will rub off for all of you. :happy:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Eleanor, thank you for the info on the computers. It makes sense with so many having computer problems.

I wll try very hard not to borrow troubles with him.

My daughter decided to spend the weekat her sisters house and she souncs so happy. He does not know where her sister is. I fee happy about that.


Thank you for your words of wisdom. I am having some success in not worrying about this whole thing. His arraignment is the third of 'April. The DA will tell my daughter what happened. He wants his guns back and that is all he is focused on.

anni I am so sorry you are having computer problems too. My computer has slowed way down. It will take some getting used to.

I am so trying not to dwell on what he will choose to do. There is overwhelmning evidence against him. But he is focused on getting his guns back, I do not think he is listening to his attorney for the plea deal.

So the crazymaking dance continues. My daughters restraining order is on the eigth of April. Then she will have a court date with her ex who quit his job so he could not have to pay child support. He sure wants out of that. But the DA is going after him and he is collecting arears. I sure hope they go after him and give him real life consequences that will motivate him to get another job and pay the child support that he owes.

He abandoned his daughter and my daughter has full control over her daughter. He pops in occasionally here and there, mabe three times a year. He calls and my daughter will not let her daughter talk to him.

Psycho family.

I am so relieved my daughter has sworn off men. What a relief to her.

She will go back to her paperwork and gathering documentation for the job and the welfare.

She sounds so good at her sisters house. When she was married and living with her husband they never went on vacation.This is doing wonders for her. I am so glad she and her sister are so close.

My daughter is healing.

Easter will be a blast. I already wrote out a check to cover her weekly expenses

Another month is just around the corner. I will have to write out all of the bills. I am so glad we have the money to pay for the girls.

My health insurance will run out on June first so I have to make arrangements for members services to send me a bill and I will have to pay the whole amount.

This is a very busy week for me. I am so glad. It keeps my mind on better things. hugs to you both.

 

[winterose]

he is in the army reserves and has not yet been deployed. That makes him a very scary guy to me.

Gizmo, right there is another weapon your daughters attorney can use. If he is in the army, his unit officer is not going to be happy with him being charged, especially if they find him guilty. He can also end up facing a court martial for causing civil disobedience. If your daughter's attorney times it just right, she can report it to his duty officer. The army will keep him busy. That is if what you fear of him getting a slap on the wrist. Just an idea. :)

 

[anni]

You're kidding, right? The next thing on the list judges/mediators/powers-that-be detest the most next to " She fell and bumped into my fist " would be quitting jobs to duck child support. Boy, are you sure we're not related? It's just that your daughter appears to have had the same, exact taste in men that I did. I STILL maintain it didn't make me so much an idjit, I just plain believe every, single thing everyone says to me because my parents never, EVER ( ever ) lied to me. Dad never even 'yelled', yelled, like the real thing so when a man DID, I think my thought process was that this must be some massive mistake. There are those of us who get into abusive relationships out of mistaken identity, sort of, but are MUCH luckier than most because we have that seed of identity our parents gave us. We do know ' Well heck, this can't be right.....', so can get the heck out.

I hope you're not too worried about the dingbat wanting his guns back, that this means 'anything'. It probably means he's just a hunter/collector, knows perfectly well you have to behave yourself in order to maintain gun ownership and is desperately trying to have his cake and eat it too. It's actually a shame this inflammatory lawyer has him in his filthy little paws, since it's in his interest to keep him in the system, writing checks, Hee. My ex? Not the kook ( although..... ) the most recent one. He must have spent 15 THOUSAND bucks pursuing a custody case. His lawyer asked for ALL the bells and whistles, the MMPI's, the mediations, the psych eval, all of it. I agreed to all of it, with the stipulation that if his side wanted it well they could foot the bill. 15,000 bucks later, he was told well, I never said you'd WIN.

Oh heck, computer problems are never a source of stress for me. I always just wait until some feels sorry for me and fixes the stupid thing. 'Wait' might be a little strong since some piteous whining may or may not have something to do with it.

I hope you and your family have an amazing Easter, full of family and yellow marshmallow peeps.

XXOO

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Winter rose, thank you for your very wise words. I will pass this alotng to my daughter. She will have to tell her attorney. It would be good if he got court martialed.

I think he wants a jury trial where they can try to destroy my daughters character and reputation.

The evidence against him is pretty clear. Even though he denied doing it, the police took pictures of his hands and they were very red, plus the testimony of the oldest granddaughter on the police report.

I am just trying to take it one day at a time. I am trying to not stress about this one. My daughter is doing the same thing.

We will have to pay more for the attorney. He needs his job. That is all he has, but I am pretty sure he will go for a jury trial.

Hugs to you for your wisdom and support.

anni, yes I am so afraid he will get away with this and get his guns back. I was so naive at first. I thought the police would destroy the guns instead of putting them into evidence.

He does not hunt but a collector. He has a slime ball for an attorney and this will be very wxpensive. We will have to shell out more money to my daughter for her attorney if it goes to trial. I am pretty sure he wants to go to trial.

He is showing his true nature now. It will be a roller coaster and I do not what kinds of games they will play.

I am what iffing again and I need to knock it off. I need to find my strong center and be at peace within myself.

My daughter went back to her sisters house and stayed there a couple more days. It is so good for her. She sounds so happy.

She really needed the break from all that she was doing.

She will come home today. The girls start school next week and she will be back on the merrry go round of gathering documentation and getting her background check for her job, and go to welfare and finish that up.

I will have to pay for her car insurance. I hope it is not too much. We had to pay our car insurance yesterday and it was not cheap.

My medical insurance will run out June first and I have to call them and arrange to pay the whole amount from now on. My cobra is running out and they are going to send me a application to fill out. More hassles. I will get it all sorted out.

I get a mani/ pedi today. Next week I will get my hair dyed. It will be another busy week for my. I will see my psychdoc on Monday and on Friday I will get a molar pulled.

My daughter picks these very personable and charming men that always turn abusive when they get married. Then the jerks shw their true colors. I am so glad she swore off men. It gives me relief.

His court date is the third. My daughter will get a call from the DA and she will call me and let me know what he decided.

I am very thankful that he is staying away from the.

Well this is where we are at. The court date for the permanent restraing order is on the eightth of Aptil eighth. I sure am praying that sh gets the permanent restraining order against him.

 

[anni]

I am SOOOO glad you're going for mani/pedi's, taking care of yourself. I personally dye my own hair on the grounds that every, single time I get close to a hairdresser they cut off 6 inches. They treat split ends like cancer, Good Grief! I say ' Please, JUST trim and layer it, I like to keep it long" and SNIPPPP, b*stards swipe a year's worth of hair. They ALWAYS say, Yes, but you have ( gasp ) SPLIT ENDS! I have long hair because it's easier, will be an old lady with a bun, that's all. I also never had a pedi in my life until the RA kicked in, the rheum recommended them, nice huh?

Oh well I suppose his lawyer can't actually SAY yep yep yep, I need my client to take this to trial because the wife wants that beach house at Nag's Head. Y'know, for real, I just can't imagine being a domestic relation's attorney, can you? You would have to end up defending anyone who came through the doors, and geesh, I just know I could NOT do that. I know it's how so many justify what they do, all the nastinees, but you know what? Do something else for a living, if this is what is required of you, bottom line. You're a d*m toad, bullying and lying for a livng.

Hee. You do NOT wish for me to get started on health care on your thread. I was 'there' already this morning on poor ITL's thread, it may not have been attractive. :)

Your daughter DOES sound like me, too wierd! Those types do talk a great game, and if you're particularly given to believing every, single thing anyone says to you then yep, commiting multiple marraige is a foregone conclusion. I'll tell you what, getting OUT of them is something which doesn't always occur unless you have a very good center somewhere, put there by your parents. I may have been married way too often but have had exactly the correct amount of divorces.

You know, if he's behaving well because he wishes to have those guns back, it's pretty obvious he'll be all swarmy and keep behaving until allllll the judgements are handed in, so, nice! It does actually sound like he's one of those spineless excuses for a man who might be ruled by his parents, could be they've been footing the bill for a lot of his nonsense through the years so have the final say in how far he can go before he's cut off. If that IS the case, another reason to guess you'd be safe. Nothing like a grown adult who is afraid of Mommy and Daddy, to inspire confidence.

Boy, I am SO nasty about this person, and do not even know the guy!

We will all be with you on the 3rd, be sure. Of course it's terribly hard to keep your head away from the 'what if's', I did it allll the time and still do it. Hee. Sometimes? I say " STOP THAT" out loud, when I am having a tough time with intrusive thoughts which threaten to turn into a loop. You DO feel silly but I have to say it does work. :)

The dog is telling me I am neglecting him, the big oaf. 100 pounds of shepherd/husky is tough to ignore, he knows it's time for his walk.

XXOO