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My dog... scared

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thank you all for your support. I just... animals mean so much to me. Especially dogs (hence my user name) and this girl has a chunk of my heart no one else has ever touched. @Esterio No, I haven't mentioned her name. For here, we will call her Miss Grumpy Guts which is one of her nicknames. Sadly my family has stalked me online and my pup has her own facebook page (I know, I know). My lovely sister-in-law once used my pup's Facebook page to announce to everyone what a terrible person I am. Hence, why I am very careful about anything I post online. Anyway...

now I'm going to babble. Miss Grumpy-Guts blood work looked good. She has some arthritis in her right hip but not too bad. She is also dealing with wind up pain. So basically, here nervous system has become over activated to sensation and interpreting it as pain. She has always had some over sensitivity to certain types of pain and showed signs of phantom limb pain. I think the developing arthritis and then the fall she took pushed her over an edge.

She got sedated for the x-ray and she seemed to be under but when we moved her onto the x-ray machine and the tech was trying to take measurements she was barking and getting upset. She wasn't moving much but she wasn't super still either. The doctor gave her a bit more sedative and that worked. after that, miss grumpy guts and I were hanging out in one of the exam rooms together. I was just laying with her. I and many people like this doctor because he's very experienced, thoughtful and caring. The downside is, he doesn't like to say no to anyone and can get backed up and spread thin. So we had a wait. That's when the doctor came in and we took a look at the x-rays.

Then he gave her another injection to help wake her up. Then they went to run her blood. As she was waking up, she kept snapping her jaw and just wasn't right. She'd be ok and quiet and then she'd just start snapping. fly snapping is a seizure type activity. It was getting worse and I told the doctor but I don't know if it fully registered. Then they thought they'd have to draw more blood (poor baby, more about that maybe later) and she flipped. She bit me and was ready to bite anyone. It was awful. I mean, the bite I took wasn't bad. I work with animals and that didn't bother me. It was seeing her act in this way and be so distressed. they finally were able to work with blood they had so we didn't have to put her through more. She was just so weird and out of it and the only time she was calm was if I was basically lying on her. Even then she'd go through periods of biting the blanket. She just wasn't herself.

So the doctor and I talked about the option of giving her yet another med. A different kind of sedative. Neither of us were thrilled because of all the meds in her system, her brain damage complicating everything and not knowing how she'd react. I finally said yes, because she wasn't improving and it could be hours before she would if we waited and she was so obviously distressed. And I didn't like the seizure lie activity.. So he did and she calmed down... and her heart rate dropped too low so she got more medicine.

Umm... so. Just a wee bit stressful. I know this is why her old/other vet has always been so cautious about doing anything with her. Because with the brain damage and all, it's hard to predict how she will react to routine things. And I've gone along with that, but since I was considering euthanasia because she was so miserable it was time to risk it. Although I was starting to freak out inside thinking that I was just torturing her and would then have to let her go and it was all for nothing

But the dr says we can go way up in the amount of gabapnetin and there's other things we can try. And if we can get her calmed down and the pain level down then we can work on long term options. I know him pretty well now. He's our primary doctor and I really don't think he'd say that if it wasn't true.

So, she was still super sedated but I took her home. the doctor's wanted me to text him updates. heh. he said, "Not that I'm worried. Her heart rate is ok." and then says text me so I don't worry.

she slept from the time I got her home until I woke her up... about 11 hours. That means it had been more than 15 hours since she went to the bathroom or drank. She was super wobbly and could barely walk but she peed. After that she was done. So I put her back to bed. The wobbliness could be from everything she went through yesterday or it could be from the increase in the gabapentin. Either way it *should* wear off. I will feel so much better once it does. I syringe fed her water this morning. She liked that. She's been agreeable to taking her meds. She's been much calmer and seemed to be in less pain.

I'm... I can't sleep. I did a little bit but mostly not. And I have put all my feelings on hold. I am just in care taker mode

She woke up as I was just finishing this post. So I helped her out to her food and water dish and she ate and drank. At first she really wasn't able to manage on her own but by the end she was walking around almost normally (for her). Feeling so much relief.
 
Hi Muttly
Sounds like she has turned the corner. Eating and drinking is the best sign possible.:happy::happy::happy:. Now you need to take care of yourself and get some rest and a good meal. She needs you to stay well. Quite an ordeal for you both. Dogs become part of you I talked more to my dogs than people I think and they listened and responded positively to me. My dogs were important to me. I never had any kids so the dogs filled the void I think. Good news thanks for sharing.

Peace be safe look after grumpy Guts
Esterio
 
That is so tough. Glad she could come home and hoping some the options are able to give her quality of life. Take sweet care of yourself and give her lots of love.
 
She is doing much better now. Things are still a bit bumpy but it's manageable again and here quality of life has improved.

Having said that... I am a trainwreck right now. Life stuff, not ptsd-related, just the everyday living type, has been rough the last month. Oh, and we just came out of my most triggering month. And so, I had planned a camping trip for Monday and Tuesday because I really, really needed a break. Instead I was at the vet all day with Grumpy Guts and then home yesterday taking care of her. I did catch up on sleep yesterday too. But today I feel like I'm going to fall apart. I'm just a big, anxious mess. I'm in a "I can't do it mode."

Sorry, I'm whining.
 
I am so sorry about this. It brought tears to my eyes. I also have the love of my life as a dog who had issues from the past. Please take care of you and your bbf.
 
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