Relationship My Fiance Is Having A Ptsd Month

[rideordie]

Me and my fiance have been together since January 2013. He had recently been discharged from the army when we started dating. In September 2011 his buddy got hit by an ied. Since we've been together he's had 2 flashbacks. And every august into september he has bad ptsd episodes woth nightmares. Very bad mood swings. Closes down won't talk to me about anything. What are some good methods to help ease the blow of the next couple months. He refuses to seea psychiatrist. And I dont know how to help him. I will never truly understand what he goes through but he use to open up to me and no longer does. Please help!

 

[joeylittle]

Welcome to the forum, @rideordie. I've moved your post into the Supporters section because I think you will get more support and responses in here.

My best advice to you honestly is to start reading threads. Start here, in this section; check out the rest of the Supporters area (many Sufferers post here as well). You'll quickly find that you're not alone in your struggle, and you'll be able to get some ideas from people who have been just where you are.

Take care,

 

[Friday]

There's a greenday song "Wake Me Up When Sept. Ends" that was my unofficial themesong for awhile. Anniversaries can just be a real bear. For more than 15 years I tend to fall apart for almost the whole month of September. Even when I'm doing outstanding the rest of the time.

I've never really had anything / anyone help with that as an intentional thing, so I can't really offer any good suggestions. Not that I haven't tried (from taking a month to go lay on a beach and do nothing, to working 36 hour shifts to try and distract myself as much as possible). But I've also been on my own for most of this. Even while married. So I've just got the "Yep. So did & do that one!"

 

[blackswan]

It sounds like he's incredibly overwhelmed in August and September. There might not be much you can do during this time except look after yourself and be gentle with him, and once things start improving again in October the push for engagement with professional support could begin.

It also sounds like you're also overwhelmed! Which I very much understand - living with someone with PTSD can be so so tough, and when things are bad the person you normally turn to for support (your partner) isn't available to give any. I strongly recommend getting your own therapy, because getting through this is not the easiest thing in the world and you need support too! And, who knows, seeing you benefit from therapy might help with convincing him to seek therapy.

Take care :hug: and remember, this rough patch won't last forever.

 

[Sweetpea76]

He refuses to seea psychiatrist. And I dont know how to help him.

There are times when you just can't help them. That's hard to accept as a supporter. Your first instinct is to "fix" everything and want to make it all better. You just can't do that, and you can't convince him to get help unless he is ready and willing to get help on his own.

What we as supporters can do is learn to give our sufferers space when they have that need to isolate. Isolation is just part of PTSD. Does it suck? It sure does, but the kindest thing you can do for him is to let him cope with things the way he needs to. You can let him know that you love him, you are there for him when he needs you, you understand that he needs his space right now, and that you aren't going anywhere.