Ghostybear73
Diamond Member
For being the absolute worst day of the week for me (Friday), yesterday was not too bad. I was given another observation at work from a different program director, which once again showed me to be a master Instructor, which I have gotten for 5 years. Since my boss decided this last year to try to make my life a living hell, he set me up by giving me a book to lecture out of to include perceptions and attitudes and then hammered me on my quarterly observation and placed me in the category of a new/developing instructor. This hit me hard, because a year and a half ago I was flown out to Florida for "Teacher of the Year" and I know it was a bogus evaluation, but it goes into my personnel file. I spoke with the judge I work with and finally gave in and spoke with his boss......again. With all the damn complaints he gets, I don't know why he is still there.
When I went in to thank the Director of Academics for listening to me and having someone other my ass of a boss do my observation, she told me how wonderful it was to have me there and that it was a phenomenal observation. Then made a comment, which I think slipped, about talking to my boss...... I wonder how that is going to make my boss feel? Will he stop harassing and threatening me?
After class, I had an hour to run home before we had our annual advisory board meeting, which I dread because I don't do social situations well (one on one or group) and I always end up having to be told, "go socialize, go introduce that doctor to me, do this, do that". I hate feeling so freaking incompetent. In fact, I had a "special" meeting with the mental health supervisory therapist last week and because of the meeting and her status I acted like a cornered animal and freaked out, which was dumb because she was just trying to help.
Well, When the advisory board was all done, I was so happy with myself because what would have normally been an impossible situation to be in (socially), didn't go to bad. I have been working hard at being able to associate better with people and going to meetings with people of much higher status, without having major anxiety attacks and guess what???? I did super good!!! :D
In fact, my ass of a boss came up to me and told me how proud he was that I was able to manage so well in what he knows is a major discomfort zone for me. He must have really gotten in trouble, because he was actually nice. It's been a while since I've seen that side in him.
If I had to do it all over again, I would not talk to my employer about my mental health issues. I never went into detail, but at one point I needed coverage for a couple days and I decided to be honest as to the reason why. At the time, he told me he was so glad I trusted him enough to talk to him and that now he had a better idea of what was going on.
I'm learning that even though I'm told I need to talk more about it, people use it against you too much.
When I went in to thank the Director of Academics for listening to me and having someone other my ass of a boss do my observation, she told me how wonderful it was to have me there and that it was a phenomenal observation. Then made a comment, which I think slipped, about talking to my boss...... I wonder how that is going to make my boss feel? Will he stop harassing and threatening me?
After class, I had an hour to run home before we had our annual advisory board meeting, which I dread because I don't do social situations well (one on one or group) and I always end up having to be told, "go socialize, go introduce that doctor to me, do this, do that". I hate feeling so freaking incompetent. In fact, I had a "special" meeting with the mental health supervisory therapist last week and because of the meeting and her status I acted like a cornered animal and freaked out, which was dumb because she was just trying to help.
Well, When the advisory board was all done, I was so happy with myself because what would have normally been an impossible situation to be in (socially), didn't go to bad. I have been working hard at being able to associate better with people and going to meetings with people of much higher status, without having major anxiety attacks and guess what???? I did super good!!! :D
In fact, my ass of a boss came up to me and told me how proud he was that I was able to manage so well in what he knows is a major discomfort zone for me. He must have really gotten in trouble, because he was actually nice. It's been a while since I've seen that side in him.
If I had to do it all over again, I would not talk to my employer about my mental health issues. I never went into detail, but at one point I needed coverage for a couple days and I decided to be honest as to the reason why. At the time, he told me he was so glad I trusted him enough to talk to him and that now he had a better idea of what was going on.
I'm learning that even though I'm told I need to talk more about it, people use it against you too much.
