Relationship My husband has ptsd and has an opiate addiction.

[TIFFk]

My husband was shot in Afghanistan and has become addicted to narcotics.He will do them for a couple weeks and then stop for a couple weeks. He has never overdosed or even nodded out that i have seen but he has gotten to the point where he constantly spends our bill money on pills. He gets paid at the beginning of the month and is broke generally by the like 10th of the month. Hes always done pills occasionally but we have always had our bills paid. Fot the past six months he has been spending bill money as well, and we are close to being evicted. Once he spends all his money he is unable to buy pills and becomes a hateful unbearable person to be around. He will cuss and yell or just lay around curled up in a ball sick. I get paid weekly and i work a minimum wage part time job. That money is used for my car payment my car insurance my cell phone bill gas and groceries. He has got to the point that he will cuss me and demand that i give him money when my pay day rolls around. I have tried being the bad guy and saying no but it usually escalates into him thretening to kill himself, or him telling me to leave . He has been to rehab, however he refuses to finish them, he only goes to detox and then leaves. He Will not see a counselor or talk to any therapists. What can i do to help him? How do i get my husband back?

 

[Sweetpea76]

He's got to help himself, you can't help him. It sucks to be along for the ride.

Does he ever talk about quitting?

 

[TIFFk]

He wants to quit but he doesn't believe the programs available to him will help. He will go to rehab and finish the detox period and then check out. He refuses to stay and go through the whole program. He says that therapists are overrated and they cant help. He needs to learn new ways to cope. He says he cannot stand to wake up in the morning unless he can get high. :( He is extremely depressed but will not take his depression medicine.

 

[Deadman]

Opiate addiction is a huge problem in the area I live. It is killing people at an alarming and rapidly increasing rate.

I'm sure you already understand that your husband can't deal with the PTSD until he deals with the addiction. The opioids only mask the symptoms.

He wants to quit but he doesn't believe the programs available to him will help.

I always translate that to mean "I want to quit but I'm afraid to try".

 

[LuckiLee]

Ahhh, opiates. A horrible drug! They work wonderfully used as directed. But they are highly addictive. And doctors hand them out like candy. My guy saw he was having a problem and quit with the help from his doctors. He had withdrawals for about 6 months and that was with the medication to wean him off of it.

There really is nothing you can do for him he has to see the problem and be willing to address it himself.

In the mean time you need to take care of yourself. Don't give him your bill money and if he says he's going to hurt himself call the suicide hot line 1 800 273 8255 ir call 911.

Praying for you!! XO

 

[LuckiLee]

.....what really makes me angry about this drug is.

Afghanistan is making millions off the poppy plants and the rest of the world is having an opiate epidemic! Makes me sick!!

Sorry, had to vent.

 

[TIFFk]

Thanks everyone for the advice. As soon as we pay the landlord what we owe and are behind on, we will be moving 2 hours away. Hopefully the move ,and getting away from the people he buys from or does them with will help.

 

[LuckiLee]

He will still have to address his problems!!

 

[dulcia]

Awful situation to be in. I'm sorry both of you are going through that. I don't think I saw it in any of the other comments, but a pill addiction like that has the potential to develop into something even scarier like heroin. It can be cheaper and sometimes easier to get. It's much easier to put your foot down now than to deal with something like that in the future.

 

[TIFFk]

Im not very knowledgeable about sruga and their severity,but the ones he does are Opanas and they cost $100 a piece...and he does not get prescribed
These, he buys them on the streets. From what i understand OPANA is extremely addictive and dangerous.

 

[Casey_03]

What can i do to help him?

Honestly? Leave him. He has to hit rock bottom before he can begin to start beating the addiction. Something very, very bad has to happen to make him see how bad this addiction is -- and if you stay, you risk having that inevitable, "bad" thing be something that affects you too.

 

[The Albatross]

Hope that the move helps some though... when you pack up the addict behaviors and beliefs that recovery methods won't work for him, "it" will come with the both of you.

When addiction is driving the bus, and the bus is careening down the road... it is best to reassess whether or not you want to be a passenger or potentially a victim of consequences or recklessness. Dig in with some ala or narc anon materials (even if you don't go to meetings there's a lot of good literature) and assess this situation and decide if you are enabling the addictive behavior and/or why/when you decided to accept the addiction to stay in relationship with your partner.