My Life Is... Pathetic. Helpless. Not Worth Living.

[Smile]

God, I know that sounds so cliche but that's how I feel right now. I've been seeing T's (& psychiatrists) continuously for the past 5 years. Helpful but barely. Got progressively worse. Finally has the "brilliant" idea to see a trauma specialist. Started with her about 2 months ago. So happy with her.

But here's the kicker. She's not cheap & my moms been "lending" me money to live on for the past year... At least because I haven't been able to work. My mom doesn't really have money she just won a lawsuit against hospital for my fathers death. So she has some money. For now.

I have to keep eating my pride and asking for more & it gets harder each time. & this last time she gave me enough for 2 sessions and maybe cover a bill or 3.

My instincts keep telling me to move into my car to lower expenses but I know how bad that was for me last time & I'm scared to do it again.

Not only can I not survive without therapy but I can't seem to get by with once a week. It's been twice weekly so far.

Oh! & to top it off I have no health insurance so have to pay for my meds (which R basically useless) in cash. That's a LOT.

AND I just got out of the hospital because I had MRSA. Hospital keeps sending me bills... I'm not even openng them because that's just laughable.

Life just feels too f$@:ing hard do.

 

[Nam]

Could you ask your trauma specialist if there are any housing/shelter that you could apply for? I can't imagine living in a car. I feel like that would be more stressful than getting a part time gig somewhere that is mindless. One that I did way back when was stocking shelves at a grocery store. Or gardening?

I'm sorry about the MRSA. I'm glad you kicked it. It's very nasty. It's ironic that they are sending you the bills when they are more than likely the one that infected you.

 

[Glara]

Have you applied for ACA, affordable care act, aka obamacare? If you don't qualify for Familycare Medicaid you may qualify for a subsidy to cover the monthly cost of the plan you chose. The plans vary from state to state. Go to the healthcare.gov website and look around for info. Open enrollment ends Feb 15 I believe. In the meantime Walmart offers cheap meds, they have a list online and most states have programs that offer long term RX programs through the pharmaceutical co. Contact your county social services agency for more information.

 

[Smile]

@Nam , living in a shelter would put me over the edge. I need my own space... Even if it's a car :/

The problem with work is not whether it's mindless or not... My current headspace won't let me even go there... In addition i now have claustrophobia so most places that I HAVE to be in give me panic attacks.

Thanks for the advice & well wishes :)

 

[Smile]

@Glara , thanks for your advice but unfortunately that won't work for me. I have not worked in the past year so I have no tax credit and therefore am not eligible for Obamacare. I also applied for disability which they denied and I am in middle of appealing but because of that I cannot get Medicaid either… medicaid automatically takes the decision from disability :(

In other words: I'm screwed from all sides

 

[Glara]

I know things vary from state to state but in our state if you can't get ACA you would qualify for Medicaid. Separately from disability. I work at social services and we are adding a whole new Medicaid dept in addition to the 3 already existing ones because of the changes. Many clients that have Medicaid now aren't disabled in anyway and they don't have children. Please try again. Even in my state the ACA has changed from last year to this year. You'll be no worse off if you try but you may find that you qualify. In going to look for a link and if I find one I'll post it.

 

[Friday]

Flip side : You have a place to live, a working car, a mom who loves you & is currently able to assist you, a trauma therapist you really like & get to see twice a week, and are currently in the process of figuring out disability & insurance.

Depression lies. Sounds like yours right now is turning every positive in your life into a negative.

As far as hospital bills & insurance... You may have lucked out here, as well. Take your bills down to the social work department. Part of their job is figuring out funding for patients without the ability to pay. Not only can they assist you with applying for insurance & medical grants, but they may well know of programs and funding sources you'd never hear of, otherwise. Even if in a bizarre twist of fate they can't do anything? (And I've yet to ever find that be the case) you're exactly no worse off than you are right now.

 

[Glara]

Check out vcu-ntc.org. It explains the changes and the Medicaid expansion. Thank you @FridayJones that's where I work, that's what I do!

 

[Glara]

Also check out Obamacarefacts.com to explain what to do if your stated opted out if Medicaid explanation.

 

[Smile]

Thanks @Glara so much! I will definitely check it out again :)

 

[Smile]

Wow @FridayJones , thanks so much!

 

[Deleted member 28986]

I wanted to second the thought that you might qualify for Medicaid, or whatever your state calls it. In my state the application was online and it was approved very quickly. Unless your state opted out of the new policies, having limited income is likely to mean approval.