My New Doctor Asked Me "what Do You Do With Yourself All Day?"

[Garuno]

I have been unable to work with ptsd/dissociation for a few years now and starting emdr treatment.we tried cognitive treatment,but did not work, the first few years were really tough,but now I am trying my best to get some normality back to my life,starting to go for walks etc...
anyway,i seen a new doctor in the medical practice I go to and she asked rather harshy,
"what do you do with yourself all day and do you ever want to work again?!
I was shocked and my mind went blank,she just rolled her eyes and that was that.
what was I supposed to say.

 

[Lopoma]

What I think she wanted to know was how you spend your time. That, and to know if you experience a desire to go back to work.

Why did your mind go blank?

 

[Gejun]

I would think the doctor just wanted to know how you are spending your time and if you want to go back to work in the future. I don't know about other people, but staying busy is what helps me with my PTSD. It got really bad when I stayed cooped up in my house and was working from home.

 

[Fitok]

Might have just been a control challenge that you were not expecting. I know I try and control my environment so I do not have to work so hard self regulating my fears and emotions. When someone unexpectedly pushes me into a possible unsafe zone, i sorta freeze for a second till I can muster my defenses a bit. Usually it is seamless and no one notices, but it can take you by surprise.

 

[Kice]

The difficulty we have is that we are hypersensitised to triggers..... this results in us placing aggressive meaning on contacts where the other people or the situation may have little or no aggressive /harmful intent, or may be having a bad day. We react to the past, not the present.....

You ask about how to react...... in this situation the key is to react to the here and now..... and partly a legitimate question from a new GP, seeking info about your life and the goals of treatment. so it's your choice whether to respond with "Yes I would like to go back to work if my EMDR is successful and I find a supportive work environment."

in the heat of a stressful conversation/situation it's very difficult because we're reacting from fight/flight/freeze and playing it straight requires activation of the pre-frontal cortex to gain here and now info about context.

 

[Pefef]

Kice, a very awesome reply. I agree fully with it.

When I feel like I am being confronted, (and times I am being triggered) a movement of eyes back down to paper work or over to a piece of medical equipment becomes an eye roll. Just basically I feel everything much more magnified then it is in reality.

That's me. I wasn't there so I dont know if she rolled her eyes.

I also agree that its an innocent more precedual type of question. Getting to know you, where you are currently, and your goals and how to best help you get to where you want to be.

I honestly think it is an innocent question but even if it wasn't, who cares? You can't work and you know why and your therapist/EMDR therapist knows why, so if she can't understand why I don't so how that changes your medical treatment. My MD just found out I had PTSD a few days ago and I have been going to her for years. I don't see where it matters.

 

[Garuno]

you get the impression from some people that if you do not work,your more or less usless.
looking back now,i should of said that "Yes, I am getting treatment and if all goes ok,i will get back to work.
I find that can happen me a lot,if someone asks me something out of the blue,i cant think of an answer.my partner says I have had that problem since I had a mild traumatic brain injury a few years back.

 

[Wuveg]

you get the impression from some people that if you do not work,your more or less usless.

You do. And working or not seems to measure your functional-ness. So if you work you are "more functional" then one thay doesn't. However that is no where near the truth.

Working or not seems to measure many things. And then you have the attitude of "milking the system" and that can be very frustrating with invisable disabilties.

But, I don't think this was any of that. Just replying to the statement in general.

 

[Vijor]

Well, let's see. What do me and my lazy ass do all day.....
1. Wake up and try to get oriented from the nightmares that I have every single night
2. Fight with myself over my terror of having a shower because I have to close the shower curtain - I have now just gotten to the point that I can walk into the shower without having a panic attack or 12
3. I fight with myself to eat, and that means going into the kitchen which is a huge trigger zone for me
4. I encourage myself to walk to the mailbox - although I am terrified that I am going to be attacked when I am outside of the house
5. I do what I can to walk out the door when I can - and then back in the door after I have been out. That many times will lead me into a panic that makes me totally unfunctional
6. I research so that I may understand my condition better
7. I try to go out in public on my own to have coffee, which I love, but usually that leads to a case of the runs like nobodies business (pardon the pun)
8. I am trying to learn how to read again. So I pick up a book every single day to read. Better still I am trying to learn how to comprehend what I am reading, which is a much more difficult endeavor.
9. Self care things like brushing my teeth every day, cleaning the house, putting things away, as I am terrified of closets.

I could go on and on and on, but that is actually what keeps me busy all day long. It is more taxing and draining than any of my fulltime jobs - EVER.

Some doctors have no idea. It annoys me to no end.

 

[Awav]

I get mental fatigue from when I get up in the morning,sometimes from a bad nights sleep and just thinking of the things I have to do "that day".i have daily headaches,then the medication and then doing things that will try and help me get back to the way I was.i hardy ever watch tv,i cant concentrate cant it.i am trying to do crosswords and read a little to try and help my mind.
going to a job seems so easy,heading off to work,talking to friends,feel like your part of something,get a wage.

 

[Okam]

what was I supposed to say.

The same thing we do every day, Pinkie. Try & take over the world!

 

[Idepu]

going to a job seems so easy,heading off to work,talking to friends,feel like your part of something,get a wage.

It may seem so but it is not for many. I am terrified of being out of the house without my service dog in training, freak out while driving there because in my mind everyone walking down and across the street is going to pull a gun on me, I am terrified of co workers and its worse now that i was moved to an end cubicle as everyone that walks down that hall to the break area (every person on the 2nd floor ((hundreds)) walks down this hall at many points in the day) look at me so i feel like I am sitting in the middle of the hall so I freak when they look at me, tell myself "deep breaths, deep breaths, keep a nice tone, dont freak out (on this customer that is screaming at me), stay calm, its ok, deep breaths" all day long on every call about 40 times a day on average, fight MANY physical symptoms and fight the need to sleep, i dont have friends and seeing people socialozing makes me super sad so fight the urge to cut or do so with a thumb tack on my wrist, walk out of the building at 11pm freaking out as in my mind there is a guy that will assult me behind every bush and every tree and every pole, get to my car and sit for a min to deep breath, drive fearing as now i cant see if someone is on foot so now in my mind every sec my car isnt moving is when someone is going to pull a gun on me, park at home, run to the door, lock it, and stay in the dark tomb that is my house.

Working seems so easy now?