My Nightmares Are So Horrifying

[Raincloud]

I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, (non military) i started seeing a therapist after a separation with my wife after cheating on her. The nightmares were the main reason I started therapy but I also I have disassociation which causes a stutter when I talk and erectile dysfunction during sex. I've had really bad dreams as long as I can remember but never this frequently. These dreams feel so real and are like I'm being confronted with an evil presence. In my waking life I don't believe in evil but in the dreams it's like seeing is believing. The dreams are always worse than anything I could imagine, it feels like they're coming from somewhere else. I'm left shaken and disturbed the whole next day after. I have lots of sleep paralysis too where there is typically some kind of faceless creature or presence in my room with me. I've had these episodes since I was about 15. For a while I interpreted this as either aliens or demons(too much surfing the web) but now seeing my whole life in the context of PTSD I get the strong feeling that these figures in my dreams are likely masks of memories of abuse or something but I can't remember. I remember two different times in my life where I got in fights at school and blacked out for the whole thing and still to this day can't remember the actual events. So I get the feeling that something seriously messed up happened at a real young age. Would anyone recommend hypnotic regression to uncover buried memories ?

 

[joeylittle]

Would anyone recommend hypnotic regression to uncover buried memories ?

I wouldn't. Memories seem to come up when you/your brain can handle them. Can't give you any science for why...but it's a pretty common experience.

How were you given a PTSD diagnosis, if you don't have an idea of what your trauma might have been?

And, do you feel good about your therapist?

 

[Raincloud]

I wouldn't. Memories seem to come up when you/your brain can handle them. Can't give you any sci...

Thank you for the reply, I'm not sure how I feel about my therapist, she specializes in trauma related disorders but has only 6 years experience. As far as remembering trauma, there are enough clear memories from childhood of psychological trauma, the effects of which have been stuttering, erectile dysfunction,nightmares ,intrusive thoughts, hyper vigilance etc..i filled out a questioniere and met all the criteria for ptsd. My marriage counselor concurs. Since I started therapy a couple months ago I've been kind of a mess and the more we talk the more I remember things that now make more sense when seen in this new context of ptsd. There's an overwhelming feeling that some other memories are about to come up and there are a lot of indicators that imply physical abuse may have occurred, the nightmares being one of them. Believe me I'm not one of those people who wants to be a victim of this or that just trying to make sense of things and wasn't sure if digging for memories was a beneficial approach. My therapist doesn't think it's a good idea either. Thank you so much for your input,I don't know anyone I can talk to about this stuff besides my therapist and and my wife. This sight is great and I'm glad I found it.

 

[Alice in Wonderland]

I can relate to you in many ways. I have had sleep paralysis since I was a teenager and I even began to be able to control it by turning it into a lucid dream. Over the past year it has been getting worse and can somtimes happen three or four times a week. Just last week it happened again and I saw a dark figure standing at my door and I had a familiar sense of terror. I also had a quick flash of my childhood bedroom and in particular a chair that used to be in that bedroom that I had completely forgotten about. I don't remember many things from my childhood but the room and the chair came back to me so clearly it was amazing that these images had been stored so perfectly somewhere in my brain. And then...the figure spoke to me...it was the voice of a male family member, so clear and loud as if he were in the room with me (I live in another country now from my family) my whole body began to tremble...more than tremble actually more like convulse and I managed to wake myself up. but now I am convinced that the sleep paralysis is actually repressed memories of childhood trauma that are trying to escape but that I am still blocking them becuase of my fear. The feeling that I had about this family member when I woke was the same feeling I felt years ago as a child when I found my christmas presents and realised therew was no santa. Devestation. I just know now there is more to it, and although I am terrified of whats to come I really want to know more.