My Past

[Melissakay]

I say my past because i am having to constantly remind myself of just that...it is the PAST. I relive it almost nightly in different ways. Some months are worse than others. Some nights paralize me. But it is still the past being relived. It is not NOW!!!

I have PTSD, rape trauma. Multiple rapes from different men in my life at different stages of my life. From early preteen to my adult life about 5 years ago. I also have abuse issues from early childhood that i barely remember, most of it I have blocked from my own memories. I visit web sites to remind myself that no I am not the only one. No i am not crazy when I have days I cant even let my own ten year old touch me. I have a wonderful counilor that has helped me so much in so many ways.... This is the first time I have chosen to be part of something like this.....

 

[goingonhope]

:) Hi Melissakay and Welcome to the forum!

I remember the awful threat and feelings of reliving the past / trauma nightly and being all alone when doing so. I am glad you found this forum. Also, there is an additional sexual abuse forum here as well. So there is lots and lots of good Ptsd information, book recommendations, support and friends you haven't met yet. Welcome!

goingonhope

 

[amethist]

Hi Melissa

Welcome to the forum.

You could also take a look at the SSA forum too, you would be made very welcome by others on there. Some use both forums, which is fine by us.

You can reach it by clicking on the link at the bottom of this reply.

Take care

Amethist

 

[Melissakay]

Thank u for welcoming me. I helps know that I am not alone. I have a partner but he in the past has been part of the problem and most times just dismisses me and my issues. He just doesnt understand.

Thank You

 

[charliehotelwhiskey]

Hi Melissa,
Welcome to the forum.
There are a lot of good people and information here.

Take Care

CHW