Shadowbreath
New Here
Hi Bo1,
I hear what you are going through. I am a survivor, I live with my sister as well. Obviously I don't know your whole situation with all the ins/outs. I left a very abusive marriage, lots of emotional, physical abuse and also control issues. It does sound like you are being a caretaker to a point that it's putting your health at risk as well, and your family dynamics. With your sis, I know she is hypervigilant, and coming from a bad place. I wonder if giving her more space and not trying to help her as much, would in turn help both of you. If she was in a controlling relationship with her ex, she might be climbing back into that scenario with you, I know I had to keep that in check with my sis. So, then comes back some resentment and eye rolling because she feels someone else is trying to "control" her life. Please don't take this wrong, I know you love her and are trying to help, but sometimes helping a PTSD person can be by letting them come to you and talk, give her some space, and try not to hover. A little distance for both of you mentally might be healing. Also, it might be beneficial at some point for all of you to go to counseling together, just to hear each other and get some professional feedback. Living with PTSD is hard , living next to it is just as troublesome. Love will help, and she is sooo lucky too have you, but sometimes doing it with a little distance and patience can change things for the better.
Just my 2 cents,
Shadowbreath
I hear what you are going through. I am a survivor, I live with my sister as well. Obviously I don't know your whole situation with all the ins/outs. I left a very abusive marriage, lots of emotional, physical abuse and also control issues. It does sound like you are being a caretaker to a point that it's putting your health at risk as well, and your family dynamics. With your sis, I know she is hypervigilant, and coming from a bad place. I wonder if giving her more space and not trying to help her as much, would in turn help both of you. If she was in a controlling relationship with her ex, she might be climbing back into that scenario with you, I know I had to keep that in check with my sis. So, then comes back some resentment and eye rolling because she feels someone else is trying to "control" her life. Please don't take this wrong, I know you love her and are trying to help, but sometimes helping a PTSD person can be by letting them come to you and talk, give her some space, and try not to hover. A little distance for both of you mentally might be healing. Also, it might be beneficial at some point for all of you to go to counseling together, just to hear each other and get some professional feedback. Living with PTSD is hard , living next to it is just as troublesome. Love will help, and she is sooo lucky too have you, but sometimes doing it with a little distance and patience can change things for the better.
Just my 2 cents,
Shadowbreath
