My Therapist Is Leaving On A Vacation For Whole Summer

[expectingbetter]

@scout86 My therapist doesn't say anything in particular as a feed back for my brake downs, at least I haven't memorized anything specific. She is one of those kind who doesn't talk much, I do the most of the talking. But I am determinant to do my best to actually find something she says to me and stick to that to hold on during future period. I will be doing on finding that on sessions I still am still left.

I also expect that she would start answering my emails once she is gone for a while. I put a lot of hopes in that so I pray it will really happen. I am also so grateful she lets me the opportunity to contact her that way, my previous therapist didn't.

I agree with you that we are all different and that we all have specific ways of organizing our lives, I don't judge her for leaving for so long, I wish only I were in better condition to endure that easier. I wish if she could get it how I feel concerning her leaving.

You can look at dealing with it as another opportunity to learn new skills for you, and to work on the ones you already have..

Thank you so much for pointing out this, I'll try to remember this! It is actually a new opportunity for improving my coping skills! I should learn to see things from their brighter side!


@Justmehere There is certainly an option to find a replacement therapist myself, there are possibilities even here, but I don't find it to be comfortable as I am so hard to build trust, I think it wouldn't be beneficial, although it's the whole summer but I spent half of the year only to start opening up to current t.
Thank you for underlining how hard work I have done with building all that trust and managing to open up, I agree I should be thankful for that. I have made some progress after all I guess, all this is not nothing.

I really like your idea with taking a peace of something like rock to have a real reminder she is getting back, I find that to be so sweet, and it's suits my character so well too! I have been doing similar things in similar situations already so I am really familiar! Thank you for reminding me of that, I will consider that as an option, I bond to things easily and they have a special meaning to me.

Thank you for sharing you had also long break in therapy, it comforts me that despite you were scared as I am you managed to go through! I hope I have built enough coping mechanisms so far that I will be able to endure even break downs when they occur.

Btw, I really like the proverb you have written under your posts, as it is Serbian, and I am from Serbia, I must admit I have never heard for it before, but I like it :)



I am grateful for having found this site, it has really changed my life more than any therapy has done so far.

 

[Justmehere]

There is certainly an option to find a replacement therapist myself, there are possibilities even here, but I don't find it to be comfortable as I am so hard to build trust, I think it wouldn't be beneficial, although it's the whole summer but I spent half of the year only to start opening up to current t.

Yeah, I can so relate to this! The beginning phase of therapy is so hard for me too, that there have been times where the work to build up a trusting relationship with a new person was simply not possible or not worth the possible gain. It's a tough bind to be in. It's good you know of possibilities if things do get too hard to manage on your own, but I also really respect your decision to not pursue it because of how hard it is to open up and trust.

Btw, I really like the proverb you have written under your posts, as it is Serbian, and I am from Serbia, I must admit I have never heard for it before, but I like it :)

It's such a true proverb! Even when we are struggling, we are all still made of amazing stuff. You and me included. :)

You've got this! And the forum community is here to support you too. :hug:

 

[expectingbetter]

You've got this! And the forum community is here to support you too. :hug:

Yes you are really here for me, I appreciate that so much, I have found here so many so wonderful people that I can't count.

Thank you everybody for being who you are!

 

[Malaenis]

Why don't you ask here if she would be willing to be more responsive to emails while she's away?
I had a therapist go away for a week, and she had the same thing where it was her private practice. She also knew I would be very uncomfortable seeing anyone else. So she gave me her number and told me text if anything comes up.

Where she already knows the situation, you should definitely talk to her about the emails. Or a crisis line to call if you need it. As someone once told me, they'll talk to you too, they aren't just for when you're feeling suicidal.

And again, come here for support. People are very helpful on this forum.

 

[expectingbetter]

@Malaenis I expect I will be able to communicate with her via emails while she is absent. I count on that. I will also stress that I need to get at least some kind of feed back from her if it was going to be helpful at all. I will say that to her.

And of course I am much more at peace than I would actually be as I know this forum exist, I am so grateful I have found it.

Thank you for your kind comment and advice.

 

[BloomInWinter]

I still get the feeling of pseudo-abandonment when my trauma therapist takes a vacation. But therapists need and deserve time to be fully off-duty to attend to their needs and their families without having to put on their counselor's hat for awhile. I have learned to take these times as valuable "practice" living my life, employing my skills, and taking a rest from working on the deep issues for awhile.

I have always grown from their breaks, even though I felt an unpleasant stew of abandonment, anxiety, apprehension, fear, anger, worry, loss, and overall lack of confidence in my own ability to deal with things. Hence, why these times have been so important for me to gain confidence in myself and my skills.

It really helps to change the way I frame it in my head. The catastrophizing thoughts are "how will I ever SURVIVE this?!" which I now reframe to "my life isn't in danger because my therapist is taking time off. It might be uncomfortable, it might cause some feelings I don't care for, but none of that is going to actually kill me."

I also give myself some affirmations that continue to help. My therapist is going to be away for several more weeks. These are the things I say:

• My therapist has confidence in my strength and ability to take care of myself, and so do I
• My therapist needs to take care of herself so she can take care of me
• I have no right to demand another human being live their life revolving around me, no matter how much I would like it to.
• I have skills now.
• I miss my therapist because we've done the hard work to form a strong alliance. Good for us!
• I have an attachment to my therapist which is necessary and allows me to heal, but it is not the same thing as friendship nor family.
• I deserve a break from her, too, to spend that time enjoying myself
• I can take stock of all I have learned and how my life is different now as compared to before I started therapy

I don't know that I'll ever not be uncomfortable when she leaves for awhile, but these times have shown me the light at the end of the tunnel. They've shown me what life beyond therapy looks like, and I can finally envision a time when I won't need it anymore.

It gets better. Taking excellent self-care helps. I'd never ask my therapist to be on-call for me. They have an emergency hotline I can use if necessary. My therapist is not my cure. She's just my personal coach. I still have to get in the game of life for myself, and play it to the best of my ability.

Hang in there. I bet you'll find that you are much stronger than you feel.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I'm someone that doesnt really contact my therapist, ever, outside of session. But, just having a way to do it makes me feel more comfortable and less likely to feel the need to use it. Maybe this would be the same for you? Maybe if you tell her that you need a contingency plan, and use the last sessikns to build one, that would help.

I recently went from longer, twice a week sessions down to one forty five minute one a week. My therapy time is a third of what it was three months ago. At first it was really hard and panic inducing, but then I stepped back and looked at how much better I am actually doing with LESS contact. Makes me utilize resources I might not have if I knew my therapist was there to pick up the pieces. You might be surprised at how okay you can be.

And @Justmehere i love the idea of taking a rock or something from outside their office ... I think I will do this myself.