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My Trip The Good The Bad And The Loss

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We got to Johannesburg at 10;30 on Friday the 18th. Even though exausted from traveling my family was all very intent to see us . I barely made it through supper but managed to get through the soup and off to bed I went. Surronded by caring menbers of family and people was a bit overwhealming. I had to get out a lot in order to maintain calm. I was very happy with my tool kit and the use of it.

Monday we being my father , the caretaker, my daughter , and a cousin and I went off to the Game park.

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Being with my father was hard at times but he seemed somewhat stable and I was unsure of what my aunt had been telling me over the phone. Yes his memory was all over the place. Often he would gaze off into nothing. In some way it dd. not bother me that much at first. It seemed rather familiar to me the gaze into nothing is something I do often while disassociating. I must tell you my concern that I too will end up just as my father has. Not only the Alzheimer's but the psychotic delusions. I think being with him has created a lack of desire to want to survive over time.
 
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