BanjoraLost
New Here
About six weeks ago, my husband called a veteran’s crisis line to get treatment for his PTSD. He made the call days after he asked me for a divorce. We separated within a week of that (I have another thread about this) but have been in regular contact because our kids are really young. Last week, the VA finally got back to him and scheduled him an appointment for this coming week. This will be the first treatment he’s had since he was diagnosed around 2011-2012.
To be fair, my husband has seemed really happy in the wake of everything—I don’t know that I’ve ever seen him this happy. I was actually surprised he even set up an appointment when the VA finally called him. His mood is outright baffling because he seemed like he was really suffering up until maybe a week after I moved out. Even the language he used when asking for a divorce was very similar to other stories I’ve read on these boards. (Said he felt numb towards me...wanted to disappear, etc.) I’ve considered that maybe I was triggering him, but he invites me over for kids activities and such. I don’t think he’d do that if I was a trigger.
I know the last time he had treatment, it seemed to just make things worse, and I think he’s expecting the same thing this time around. He’s already asked me to take the kids after his appointment, for the entire rest of the day. (He has the kids most of the time right now.) So I agreed to do that, but is there anything else I should be doing or say to him to be supportive? We’re still on pretty good terms, but I’m not sure what is a proper boundary here—he’s pretty adamant that he wants a divorce, so I want to respect that, but I’m worried about how this will impact the kids. He’s the primary caretaker.
To be fair, my husband has seemed really happy in the wake of everything—I don’t know that I’ve ever seen him this happy. I was actually surprised he even set up an appointment when the VA finally called him. His mood is outright baffling because he seemed like he was really suffering up until maybe a week after I moved out. Even the language he used when asking for a divorce was very similar to other stories I’ve read on these boards. (Said he felt numb towards me...wanted to disappear, etc.) I’ve considered that maybe I was triggering him, but he invites me over for kids activities and such. I don’t think he’d do that if I was a trigger.
I know the last time he had treatment, it seemed to just make things worse, and I think he’s expecting the same thing this time around. He’s already asked me to take the kids after his appointment, for the entire rest of the day. (He has the kids most of the time right now.) So I agreed to do that, but is there anything else I should be doing or say to him to be supportive? We’re still on pretty good terms, but I’m not sure what is a proper boundary here—he’s pretty adamant that he wants a divorce, so I want to respect that, but I’m worried about how this will impact the kids. He’s the primary caretaker.
