Yeah, I'm probably about the same age as your Dad, and I walked out of my last relationship in somewhat similar circumstances, I'd lost my job and was isolating, My ex was blowing up in my face. There were lots of other things there too, so it certainly doesn't mean that your parents, who are very different people in their own different circumstances will do the same as I did... at least I hope they don't.
First job; protect yourself.
There's an Al Anon .pdf on the net called “detachment”, it is worth downloading yourself a copy and giving one each to your mum and sister.
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Just mentally replace the work "alcaholism" with "isolating".
Remember that you are not responsible for other people's actions, or for protecting them from the consequences of their actions, so do not blame yourself if things get difficult for your mum, dad and sister
If relations between your mum and dad are strained, perhaps it is worth speaking to your mum about your worries (if you are able - I couldn't mnage it even now with my mum).
I'm particularly thinking about what happened with me. My ex and I both let ourselves react to things in the past, rather than keeping any disagreements strictly to what was happening at that moment. The result was that things like a few of my dark hairs left on the white sofa, became a major shouting session, bringing out the rage about all of the other, old and unrelated things that we still felt angry at each other for (and which long term relationship doesn't have its share of old hurts).
What would have tempted me out of my isolating and Bubble-izing?
I think the first thing would have been realizing that I was isolating, and that by hiding from stresses and triggers, I was only becoming more and more sensitive to them, and would still have to deal with them, even after wasting all of that time isolating.
It was strange how important distractions like reading someone's blog became, when I'd really have been much better off going for a walk or a bike ride – just getting out of the house.
Are there things which interest your dad, that you might be able to tempt him into going to see or do? Does he like some form of gentle exercise, like riding a bike or going for a walk? Even just getting out of the house and going for a coffee?
what was his career in? are there other people doing that within easy commuting distance of him?
If he has sunk into depression (which it sounds like) does he acknowledge it?
Even if he doesn't acknowledge it, could you gently guide him into listening to a couple of 20 minute sessions of “the mindful way through depression”? (I see you are in
@Ms Spock's reading circle too) - I keep telling people to ignore the bit about depression in the title, as it is useful for so much more than just depression, and saying that the mindfulness techniques are good for all sorts of things, gets around the possible argument of him denying that he has depression, or doesn't need to listen to it.
The friend who introduced me to “the mindful way through...” had spent years on SSRIs, which did absolutely nothing for their depression, but did make my friend suicidal and really messed with them in other ways (including destroyed sex life) . Mindfulness and some CBT has really helped them though.
Let us know how you get on.
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