Narcissists: People Persuading You To Develop Ptsd

[Jenfa]

Have you every considered that the family may have a disorder than runs through it? Sounds like a personality disorder. Narcissists usually don't focus on their downfalls, but say borderline personality might take everyone hostage for a while (or forever). I have an older brother that I feel similarly about. It was slightly different, though. He knocked me out cold as a kid so many times that now I'm confused, disabled, and blind.. and now he's a doctor in Las Vegas. So I can empathize greatly with you. I'd like to fly to Las Vegas and drill him in the face with a bowling ball. I'm pretty sure my heart rate has gone up 20 points in the past 5 minutes.

But here's where he doesn't run this. "Hey, he's family!". Yeah, and? What, you want an essay? A gold star? 5 points? I don't have to like anyone. It's not mandatory. If Mom and sister want me to like someone, then that's nice. I tell them that too. "That's nice.". They give me filthy looks, but that's okay. It's better than letting his emotional sucking vampirism into my head because I'm a lot like you. I'll hang onto that shit until the cows come home.

I try to avoid all contact which works for a while until we have to see one another. I still don't like just cutting things off with no closure. Even though I hate his face, I still want to say goodbye. I think it's only human to want that.

 

[Thinkingman85]

It could run in the family but I didn't have any mental issues until I couldn't handle the abuse from my brother. He lacks empathy. My friends all agree. There is something wrong with him and he is a horrible person. Narcs will not apologize for what they've done. They enjoy the suffering of others even family members. I learned that the hard way. I expected him to be caring but he isn't. There will never be closure because they don't want it. They only want victims to suck life out of. They give you the illusion that they are normal people when they are not. Society can see them as normal but behind closed doors their true colors come out. I've been spending time trying to heal from the pain he caused as opposed to trying to redeem the relationship. No one deserves abuse.

 

[Philippa]

Hey, I watched some Zane Archane, as well as the video crazyhorse suggested. I like zane archane and what he has to say. He also talks about the peptide thing though, and said pretty much the same thing as melanie tonia evans did. I thought that was interesting. But yeah, I totally love his vids.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I've only read thru Drew's 9/22 post, but feel the need to comment.

She hits the nail on the head!!

I went thru a similar period where I was fixated in my abuser. Finally I made the decision to report her knowing that was the point at which she had no more control over me. I mentally switched from thinking about her to making my healing about me. I rarely think about her anymore. My focus is on me, where it should be.

I think that some how, in some way, you need to do the same. All of this focus on him is a distraction from your own healing. Trying to figure out WHY doesn't matter (I see a lot of survivors getting caught up in this, but in the end the "why" doesn't matter.) This is what I think. Sh!tty people do sh!tty things. I'll never be able to get inside their heads, so it's fruitless to try and figure them out.

My priest even advises me in this way. She says the "why" doesn't matter. And she's right.

Sorry if the thread has gone in a different direction. I just wanted to say this.

 

[Miasmith]

Late reply but I only found this site today. So actually I do have experience with these people. My mother-in-law is a narcissist. So I can tell you this because I have been left to deal with the mess she left her son.

A narcissist will groom its victims to love them and need them so that they feel like nothing without them or incomplete. They leave there victims devastated and with nothing but heart break.

Let me describe the heart of a narcissist. If you where to get a key and open up the heat of a narcissist you would look in and see nothing. Everything the narcissist made you believe it loves will not be in there, there are no photos of loved ones, there is no furniture, no phone number, no nothing. Narcissists are empty creatures. They are highly skilled and faking and making. I would say a heartless pig but I'm pretty shore that animals have souls :)

Its not your fault because you are not suppose to understand, your brother is from another planet. I hope you can relate this to your experience and use it to take take back what was stolen. Remember a narcissist will never change, learn to trust yourself that you will not ever fall for it again.

Your PTSD is probably not letting you forget because it is making sure that you never put yourself through the same pain again. Its a tricky one.

I'm completely behind you cheering you on!!

 

[Thinkingman85]

Miasmith, I think you're right. There is no winning with a narcissist because they don't care. Any normal person has at least some level of care but a narcissist has none. That's probably why it's so hard to move on.

 

[Rebecca Cookson]

It is Melanie Tonia Evans words, not mine. That is where it is coming from.

Crazy-horse - I second that. Bought the NARP course. Thinking of asking for a refund because the course is still within 30 day offer. I guess it is easy enough to buy a course that says "let the healing begin" ....but not so easy to buy the idea of "peptides gushing and rushing through my cells etc". I bought it because I was broken. But....a big grain of rock salt is beginning to set in now. Now some folk who are doing NARP swear black and white it is right as rain for them, just as some people's headaches will vanish if you give them a peppermint instead of an aspirin and claim it is the latter. Some people get really upset when you tell them the Earth is not flat too. Placebo effects are fine if they work but I need a real aspirin, not mints to reverse my headache from four narcissistic men and one narcissistic mother who set the ball rolling many years ago. BTW, "Let the healing begin" was a very sarcastic remark made by the narcissistic protagonist in the film Good Will Hunting. I am sure Melanie would be horrified if she realised her slogan is the same. Did you know that Melanie could be slipping into the realm of narcissism herself? It does rub off if you have lived with enough of them. She takes selfies in the mirror of her hotel room in Thailand. Also the swimming pool, the fancy bling shoes etc...ok ok. It was her birthday but I think she wants to live in Thailand now. All this posted publicly on Facebook - tell-tale success of a thriving narcissistic abuse survivor.....very definitely so!!!!!!!!!!!!! After all, when you look to yourself for healing, you find these things attractive just like the selfie in the mirror - the reflection. I read an article about narcissism not by Melanie. Selfie mirror shots and desire for material possessions are a sign of narcissism. Obsession with hair, make up and appearance - also.

I wrote some comments about Melanie's posts and they did not go down well. I realise I was challenging the business of dealing in rocks as opposed to gas. This formula that the shrink brigade follow is not helping hurt people. Telling distraught people who have lost partners or loved ones no matter how evil they were, that now "they can heal and work on themselves" and somehow generate intrinsically rewarding identities in the aftermath of horrendous emotional loss, is nonsense. Why on Earth send distressed people to counsellors and psychotherapists? That in itself is a form of seeking from the outside - and paying money for it at that! And the counsellors are telling these poor people that they are now alone, because that is the way humans are - alone. In my opinion this is why people commit suicide. It happens when they are left - alone - helpless, to heal themselves, to "not beat themselves up" but in another breath be told, they are responsible for what went wrong in their lives. NO. Human beings were meant to be with other humans just as lions were meant to be with other lions. People are not able to heal themselves when they are traumatised. They heal themselves - if we must use that sickly word - leaving their countries, and joining up with groups of others and seeking a partner in life. Contrary to popular belief, people actually make us happy. We cannot make ourselves happy by ourselves. All this talk of ego, self and reflection....the world is swimming in self-reflection and still narcissism is happening. Self-reflection can turn into rumination. That can turn into insanity or depression..which can turn to worse things. The last time I did a meditation session on fashionable advice of friend, my mind was focussed solely on my inner need to exact as much revenge as possible on my ex who had left me in trying and distressing circumstances. I left the spiritual meeting boiling with rage. That is not good if you are woman. It can bring on early menopause and I am not supposed to get that for some more years. I am trying to calm down. Peptide rushes make me want to go and join the Kurds and shoot ISIL members for therapy. I have read sites that say to people who have lost partners or loved ones, to "buy themselves flowers, to sit in a hot bubble bath, take massages and do Yoga. For crying out loud! Those things do not heal you when you have lost a person in your life no matter what evil they did. Human contact means everything in life not bubble baths and flowers from the shop! We would not tell a mother who had had a miscarriage to buy herself flowers, take bubble baths, to do Yoga and to move on now (three months went by quick - now!) and focus on herself! So why do we tell broken-hearted people to do that sort of thing? Looking for brown snakes and lizards in the Blue Mountains did help though. Leaving my country has helped. My cat helped me the most. What would help even more would be to have a partner who would not muck me around and behave like my mother. I cannot shift the peptide rushes so easily when I see Melanie taking selfies in Thailand and buying blingy shoes that were made by poor people in a factory on 20 cents a day plus rice. I have an aversion to the selfie-taker in the mirror because I am not a narcissist. I want to be with a guy who will look at brown snakes and lizards and do dancing and dishes sometimes. That is what would heal me. And he would definitely have to look nicer than a troll or an orc. That is the only narcissistic glimmer in me right now.

 

[Davez]

In any case, I would be careful listening to Melanie Tonia Evans' 'theories' about peptides and narci...

Then prove her wrong