Need A Creative Outlet

[Chava]

My work is fairly creative, but I feel as my positive energy increase (like I don't feel like I'm numb or just surviving), my "good" feelings move towards creating. I'm not highly prone towards great feelings through human connection, love, nurturing others, etc. But my "good" energy fits well with creative energy. My version of positive energy is essentially creative energy. And it is often a confused energy that I just back away from and slump into survival mode. Also, there is a point where I can over-shoot it into my work and overwhelm my colleagues (and also sort of spin into disorganized in my own work...like too many ideas, not enough follow-through).

So, as I start to feel a little less numb, I am noticing a creative void. I hate my artwork (or it's not working for me right now). But I do feel good about noticing this drive/need and am searching for how I can fill it and have an outlet for my positive, creative energy. I also miss playing violin in an orchestra (not an option because of my pain). So am also interested in finding where I can share my creativity with others. At work, so many people are just trying to get by and I respect that new ideas are taken only in small doses and am quick to recognize the few who might crack out on bigger pictures or creating new ideas together. When I can share creative work with others, I probably feel most alive and real in the world. I have a void here and am glad I'm aware, but feeling stuck as to how to help myself feel whole. I don't want to be afraid of good energy because I don't know what the hell to do with it.

Just curious if others relate, and if so, what helps you. I'm sure our own outlets differ, but I'd like to just share ideas or relate around this idea of need for creative outlet.

 

[InvisibleSun]

Embracing positive, creative energy has always been a must for me. My mind is always a peace when I'm creating. I love playing the piano and writing. I even like doing crafts and DIY projects. I cook for a living and part of what attracts me to the profession is the creativity and artistry involved in preparing and serving quality food. I'm a very passionate person and being creative allows me to express what is often difficult for me to verbalize. It gives me an escape of sorts, which is a much healthier alternative to my usually self destructive coping mechanisms. I always encourage people to feed their creative spirits. It's a very freeing experience.

 

[sun seeker]

How about combining your writing and music by writing about playing or teaching the violin? Memories, good/bad/funny experiences in an orchestra, your favourite theories and teaching or practicing techniques... I don't know, that's what comes to mind. You could then share your writing to fill your need to share with others, without needing to get close enough to trigger you.

 

[Chava]

My mind is always a peace when I'm creating. I love playing the piano and writing.

It feels good just hearing other people say this!! It is so huge for me. Thank you so much. I love writing and playing piano too.

being creative allows me to express what is often difficult for me to verbalize

Yes! I think I feel stunted or confused by finding the right medium right now. But also, I tend to express things I can't totally deal with at times. It's like I feel this creative energy but don't trust it right now.

How about combining your writing and music by writing about playing or teaching the violin

yes, thank you! Writing about what I love does feel very good, like a sort of release. I think judgment seeps in...like "nobody reads my blog", etc. But the process and action itself feels very good. So I have been trying to write a little more recently, not giving a damn if anyone reads it. If one person in some other country reads, good enough. But there is the void of not creating with others, I really survived on that and am not sure what the comparable outlet is. But it's healthy for me to think and talk about it, so thank you for jumping in, relating to the reality of our creative selves...

Writing here helps too, even if not entirely "creative"...it is helpful. Thank you!!

 

[Boo]

I have some bad days sometimes where I think too much. I tend to write it out then draw around it in a sketch book I keep. I have had a lot more people come to me lately with how they are not dealing well with situations in combat. I have taken a great pride in the fact that they come to me to talk. So you are on a good path ... take your creativity and teach others maybe help others who suffer and don't know how
To get the emotions out by teaching them.

I think when we feel needed or part of a solution that too helps out with some of the issues we may have.

 

[EmmaOwl]

Writing here helps too, even if not entirely "creative"...it is helpful. Thank you!!

I used to be a writer, am terrified of going back, and get LOTS of practice done here, as I'm not really on social media and so this is one of my main online outlets. It may not be ready for publication in a glossy magazine, but don't doubt the level of creativity you can find here!

 

[whiteraven]

yes, thank you! Writing about what I love does feel very good, like a sort of release. I think judgment seeps in...like "nobody reads my blog", etc. But the process and action itself feels very good. So I have been trying to write a little more recently, not giving a damn if anyone reads it. If one person in some other country reads, good enough. But there is the void of not creating with others, I really survived on that and am not sure what the comparable outlet is. But it's healthy for me to think and talk about it, so thank you for jumping in, relating to the reality of our creative selves...

I'm a writer, and I absolutely get that little voice that keeps reminding you, "nobody reads you" or "your writing sucks" - that is so normal for a writer of any caliber. I have 3 blogs and very few people read, but I keep writing. I also write essays and submit to journals, and am writing a couple of books. I've been published, but the real point is, I'm doing the work. I'm going through the process. And like you said, if one person reads it, and gets something from it, that's awesome!

I don't know if you've considered maybe a writers' group? They can be online or in-person. There are tons of online groups, both public and private, where you can get support and ideas for getting more exposure to your work. And I'm sure that's true of other creative outlets, as well.

 

[New Blue]

So am also interested in finding where I can share my creativity with others.

How about a writing group (not necessarily to publish)? Or a string quartet (playing just for the enjoyment if performing isn't your thing)? The common activity can become a social outlet, in addition to a creative one, if you want it to. Yay for wide support networks!

I'm a writer, and I found other writers through a creative writing class at a local adult school. I ended up meeting my best friend there and forming a writing group with her. Both of us have since left the group to pursue other commitments, but as far as I know, the other group members have kept it going. We started it almost six years ago.

The group met weekly for two hours. Meeting weekly helped keep me writing. I had been invited to another writing group, but only went a couple of times. They met every other week, but I got the sense that some of the members were much less committed than what I was looking for in a community of writers.

It's by no means easy to facilitate such a group, especially when one person wrote about a sensitive topic or another person is intent on passing judgement on the author for what they wrote.

Still, it can be gratifying. Not only am I oodles better at writing now than I was when we first started the group, I also learned to step up as facilitator when my friend (the original facilitator) left the group. Reminding people of the group guidelines (ie. Stick to giving feedback about how the author wrote something, rather than expressing your personal opinions about their choice of topic or their position on it) is good practice for moderating conflicts in other contexts, too.

take your creativity and teach others maybe help others who suffer and don't know how
To get the emotions out by teaching them

Sweet idea! And you can get creative with how you teach them, too. To lecture or to teach by example? That's a question worth answering. ;-)

don't doubt the level of creativity you can find here!

I second that! Even notwithstanding the vocational diversity of MyPTSD's membership, the fact that we've each faced trauma and survived means we're creative people. I don't move through the world the same way I would if my trauma hadn't happened, but I've adapted in ways that show I am a well-adjusted person who behaves in socially acceptable ways.

Let's rewind for a second: July 2005. I was in residential treatment for emotional issues, but proved to be so well-behaved, relatively speaking, that one of the other clients nicknamed me Miss Perfect. Half of the clients were new arrivals, after high school graduation had sent handfulls of old clients away. Everyone seemed to be acting out that summer, threatening or committing violence, getting dragged off to juvenile hall by the police. Repeatedly.

The worst part for me was the lack of AC and the fact that we couldn't open our windows (all buildings were only one story; an open window would expose us to whatever mayhem was going on outside, as well as provide a way for the acting up clients to escape staff).

In other words, I focused on the misery of my hot bedroom, rather than the chaos and physical danger right outside my window.

Creativity doesn't have to be artistic. Trauma can force us to dig out our resilience and put it to good use - in pretty darn creative ways, if you ask me!

 

[Deleted member 8714]

I used to be a writer, am terrified of going back

Why what happened?

Without writing I think I wouldn't be able to exist. It's my lifeline in so many ways.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I don't know if you've considered maybe a writers' group?

This thread is from 2015 and @Chava has not been here since March 2016.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't post here. Only that @Chava may not answer.

 

[whiteraven]

This thread is from 2015 and @Chava has not been here since March 2016.

I...

Oh, I had no idea. Thanks.