Need A Sense Of Security. Security Objects.

[sun seeker]

I am in a lot of pain, and I'm scared

Do you know what you are scared of? Sounds like you are thinking along the right lines, but may need more than the fleece jacket.

 

[shimmerz]

I am in a lot of pain, and I'm scared.

I think that is why we have external things @ReachingOutJ . I work with my Teddy bear and I pretend he feels the way that I do. Just like you said. A lot of pain and scared. And I soothe him. I rub his heart if his heart aches or any other part that I think 'he' needs help with. And it shows me how to love myself whether I am scared or not.

 

[Kefira]

I work with my Teddy bear and I pretend he feels the way that I do. Just like you said. A lot of pain and scared. And I soothe him. I rub his heart if his heart aches or any other part that I think 'he' needs help with.

Not to do with security objects, but someone I respect very much once said she sometimes reminds herself when she's afraid that there's a confused little puppy inside each of us. Sometimes you just have to stop for a minute and pet the puppy. Let it know it's okay. It resonated with me and it helps me at times.

As for security objects, I like solutions like customized jewelry. I've had some nice hand stamped pieces that just had whatever word I most needed to keep close to me at the time. I'm also very fond of things with soothing textures: stuffed animals, my weighted blanket. For me, I make most of my security objects or I get them at times that give them some sentimental value. My stuffed leopard I got at a zoo after a really wonderful day with a dear friend, for example.

 

[Here_Still]

I have a tiny compass that I where on a cord around my neck, for me it is nice to feel and hold as a talisman, and also reminds me of where I am working on going. It's about the size of a dime but thicker, the same sort of compass I have used in kits before. The feeling of the cord on my neck is a good reminder.

 

[Fadeaway]

I like that @Here_Still

 

[Chava]

One, I t needs to have some sentimental value. I am not really sure how to get that at all. I really don't understand how something becomes sentimental.

I would like to use this object to help ground me, so texture is kind of important. Something tangible.

It needs to be something that I don't fear losing, which is the point of why I need it. Something that can be the one consistent in my life. Which is why it needs to be something I can possibly attach to my body.

My thought is to try bringing something to therapy. My thinking there is that it might help create a positive association (sort of like being sentimental). I've found comfort things this way because I have the connection to feeling more safe with therapist...especially since I went into therapy with zero skills in self-soothing through my own internal resources. It started with borrowing a teddy bear from her office. Then I brought tuning forks along because I thought they felt kind of soothing (not something you can really hang onto though). I also have a sort of chain I can hold onto there and can also wear through the day.

Finally, I have used compression or athletic tape (like KT tape) on part of my arm or hand to feel security. I can't explain it but it's part of my arm I have cut before and it helps to squeeze. My therapist has held onto that part of my arm too. On my own the tape feels like a sort of subtle reminder that keeps me contained.

It sounds like you need this "one consistent" thing to eventually come from within you but I totally get that it's not always possible, but it's ideally what we work towards. With my things listed above it reminds me of how young kids use transitional objects like blankets, thumb-sucking, and stuffed animals to manage some separation from their parents as they learn more how to self-soothe internally. I can't carry my stuffed animal around, but the tape or some kind of snug bracelet or other jewelry seems to help a bit...also better if I can find a way to create a positive connection either through therapy or some other situation (like a meditation retreat, whatever...just somewhere I feel safe or more connected to myself).

 

[rhizomorph]

I carry a rock around in my pocket, and work it in my hands when I need to. There's nothing special about this particular rock- I found it one day when I was looking for, well, anything... and this particular stone just felt like it belonged in my hand. It was here before me and will continue beyond me- there's a security in that.

 

[Ellabella44]

Sigh I dress for security.

7 grounding stones , one is a necklace.
7 rings to remind me to ground when I dissociate.
6 earrings
Black clothes. Somehow that color makes me feel safe. Lately I have added other colors.
When its colder I add a black sweatshirt to the list. So lots of suggestions there.

 

[Sammyiam]

Fade, if you pm me an address you feel safe with I will make you something from my gallery, and it will travel half way around the world so when it gets to you it will be wise from all its travels, safe from finally arriving at its new home, and made from my heart to yours. I feel a small part of me goes with every piece I make and I would be happy to gift you a small piece of my heart to your heart.

Take care

Sammy

 

[KwanYingirl]

My first and foremost thought was to invoke Nature. I am not sentimental except when it comes to treasures I have found on hikes in the mountains or walks on the beach. I wear beach glass jewelry to cheer me up and I can play with the charms with my hands. I collect pine cones.

I'm trying to encourage my mind to create safe places as I look forward to a shamanic journey. Shamanism is all about the natural world. As such, I am creating a fairy garden for my office. Just thinking of collecting items from nature calms me.

You might find the world of crystals interesting. They have healing qualities and you can get help from a gem store to find a crystal that speaks to your needs. Then you can wear it around your neck or splu put them in your pocket. Putting tourmaline at the four corners of your home will keep evil spirits out and draw positive energy into your home. The natural world holds so much to comfort us.