Need Help In Handling Anxiety And Daily Tips

[SeekingAfrica]

Hey guys...

So things have been bad lately. I had rough weeks with lots of flashbacks. This week I haven't, but my day off was Monday, and yesterday I was so depressed that I did very little other than research and trying to plan for future improvement(from bed). And today, I am so anxious it's freezing me. I can't do my job (it's online one and thankfully not too time sensitive, so even if I skipped today and got to it tomorrow it would be okay). I feel utterly useless because of all that and can't make myself do other things. (just as extra info I do take meds and do therapy, but right now I'm both talking through the hardest part of my past and faced my horrible finances in the present, so things have been worse)
But I'm trying to do better for once. Take care of myself and take few hours off, so I don't have to take few days off. I decided today to do what I can do when I can and do nothing if I can't. Work tonight, if I can. But I still feel depressed and useless if I do nothing. But I am too anxious to prioritize. At this point really, doing anything for 15min at a time(as someone suggested in the flashbacks section once) with breaks in between may be better than doing absolutely nothing and stirring in my own thoughts. But I'm too anxious to think of what to do.
Can you guy suggest things you do when you're having such a day? Chores, small work tasks, distractions?
In the past I've always made things worse by both not doing work, and being too depressed to clean up, so when I get to a good day, I have social events, work and chores piled and waiting for me to get to them. I hope to avoid that in future. So I'm making a list of things to do.
Ideas?

 

[Deleted member 34328]

oh boy!!! What a yucky place to be. It's pretty discouraging isn't it. Seems like nothing will ever be "normal" again.

I think you're on the right track for today. "I decided to today to do what I can do when I can and do nothing if I can't." I'm not sure the wording is quite right though. It's not about what you can or can't do. Not in the way we expect things to be. - or want things to be.

A lot of the time we have to accept our limitations and set goals that are doable. Sometimes those goals are simply get out of bed and fix yourself a shake or something really light to eat. Then sit in a favorite chair and look for something interesting out the window. Obviously that's hypothetical, but it's a mistake to continue to tell yourself you can't do things. You can! You can do what YOU can do. Not what someone else might define as what you can or should do.

I think making a list is a good thing. Just be gentle with yourself when you do it. If you work from home, then make your home a pleasant place to be. I'm at home as well and I find things a lot more restful when I force myself to pick things up and even put dishes in the dishwasher. Whatever makes me more comfortable. Keep my safe place safe.

Have you discussed any of this with your therapist? Is your therapist aware of how your days look? Extreme anxiety and depression are not things to laugh or push away, They're real and controlling if we let them.

Hang in there. Digging into the past is very painful. Resurrects the trauma memories. Just wanting to make your day productive in a small way is a huge step forward. Proud of you.

 

[IamFree]

I am glad I found this post I was just reflecting on why people with PTSD get so easily tired. I have found keeping life simple helpls and learning about what things in my life is draining my energy and reducing or eliminating them

 

[EveHarrington]

Can I ask a favor? Can you make paragraph breaks? I'm on a phone (many of us are) and it's hard to read a block of text. Thanks! :-)

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Can I ask a favor? Can you make paragraph breaks? I'm on a phone (many of us are) and it's hard t...

I had no idea! I never read long things on my phone for that reason, but I will have that in mind in the future. Thanks for pointing it out.

 

[Ashleigh0110]

I feel the same way. Normally, I can at least force myself to shower, get ready, and go to work or school. The past 3 days I have been unable to move from my bed with the exception of leaving to pick up some food. I have not showered or accomplished of the tasks that I was planning to. I even skipped class today.

I have been online in bed researching what I can do to get myself out of this black hole. This is actually what brought me here. I have counseling tomorrow, I am hoping it helps.

 

[IamFree]

I am fast becoming aware that perfectionism contributes a lot to my tiredness..setting a lot of unrealistic goals ..going through periods of striving to take care of everything..then if it does not go to a T swinging to the opposite extreme of giving up and collapsing in to a pile of self hatred thinking its all failed its a very energy draining cycle..I understand now overcoming perfectionism is instrumental in my recovery of I will always be setting myself up to fail

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I feel the same way. Normally, I can at least force myself to shower, get ready, and go to work or...

I know that feeling so much. During the past week, I've had like a zillion up and down moments, swinging between "I don't want to go out of bed" and making a big todo list and pushing myself to try. I had one really nice breakthrough. I also had one horrible night of flashbacks.
Going to my T helps, for sure, since it helps me think through a lot of things and realize a lot...but it's also extremely hard, especially not that I'm trying to talk about the worst things...So usually after the exact day of therapy I'm a bit overfilled with memories and more emotional that usual. So it helps in the long run, but the exact day is usually extremely hard.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I am fast becoming aware that perfectionism contributes a lot to my tiredness..setting a lot of unreali...

I do that a lot too...Although I'm trying to get a hang on it. But I feel that I wouldn't be trying to be that perfect, but I've been so much dealing with what happened to me in the last years, that it's like I was asleep. And I missed so much. So now just regular stuff aren't enough, I have to "catch up"...I know that doesn't really help me catch up, but that is one of those thought patterns that I'm trying to reroute lately. I hope I manage one day.