Need Some Support

[Crow]

Support @sun seeker . We're all here for you.

 

[sun seeker]

Thank you so much everyone. I'm surviving. It's about all I can do right now. The support and understanding help.

 

[Whyteferret]

@sun seeker
You're strong. You're talking.

 

[sun seeker]

I am not strong, but I am talking. I just need the pain to stop.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I see and hear you in your pain and your distress, you can get through this in Time.

 

[Whyteferret]

Isn't talking being strong ?

:)

There was somewhere else I was going with this but it'd 1:00 a.m. here and my brain just shut down.

Be gentle with yourself

 

[joeylittle]

Thinking of you and sending big waves of support and understanding.

 

[ladee]

You will come to believe in your strength.. and sharing takes courage... glad you are here.

 

[Teasel]

Understand when it's like that. Too much. Hoping you get some relief v soon <3

 

[sun seeker]

When there are so many of us who understand what it's like to feel this bad... why is it so hard to find anyone around us who does?

I feel like a zombie moving in slow motion, hunched over because the emotional pain is so intense it registers like physical pain. I keep going, if only to do the absolutely necessary things. There are people depending on me, plus my future depends on a good reputation for showing up. Which I guess is a good sign, that I am able to act on the assumption of a future. Doesn't seem compatible with the suicidal ideation (which I have no intention of acting on, but sometimes it is a relief to think about it). There is no pleasure in life, but there are moments of meaning and connection that give me hope that there might be, one day. If only the pain would ease up.

It's hard when a state of crisis goes on this long. When it's a few days, I get through it by taking emergency measures: stop trying to accomplish anything but getting through it, take benzoids and basically wait for help to come. When it goes on this long, I can't keep doing that.

 

[GrayOwl]

Hi Sun...
I'm sticking w the no advice and sending a double hug this morning :hug: :hug: if that's legal? Hopefully there's no quota on hugs.
If there is, pass one on.
Just got off work, people rely on me, reputation, same stuff here.....
My abuser/trigger is at my work. He has confined me to a 100 foot long corridor for the last 3 years. I have to stand in it like a dog inside one of those invisible fences for 8 hours. Not much pleasure here either. I think of all the people in the world suffering more than me. I'm only there 24 hours a week anymore. It could be worse. I have a cease and desist court order on him yet nothing changes. I'm off for the next four days. I'll catch up on some sleep and get some sunshine and put some positives in my world. Maybe a picnic with the grandkids.
I hope you have some positives that can help you with your world. I'm lucky I have found a couple people in my world who support me and seem to care. One or two are at work and they have helped me stay sane. And on this site too now.
I see you have therapy on Thursday! I hope they're good. Something to look forward to.
Please keep posting and sharing. I can take a little pain today - send a little piece over here if it helps.;)
Ttyl8tr.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am not in a good place today so I am sending you hugs.:hug::hug::hug: