Neediness

[Sweet Girl]

Meadowsweet, you described my exact feelings over the past few months. I feel trapped in one of the longest emotional flashbacks I've ever had. As time passes and my emotions continue, I'm growing more tired everyday, which is making me feel very weak. And, my inner child is definitely screaming to be taken care of. I am desperate for someone to give me a break and take care of me.

I've described my feelings to friends as being ridiculous, crazy, absurd, weak, childish...you get the point. Each of my friends and my therapist have said it is my descriptions of my vulnerability that are absurd. They continue to remind me the need to be loved and nurtured is a completely natural human need and the shame I feel for longing for it is not my shame. It's the shamelessness of my perpetrators that I have been infected with.

Although my friends have been extremely supportive, this feeling of insatiable neediness does not seem to be letting up. I just keep working through the memory and am coming to terms with the fact some if this feeling is old but some of it is here because I'm healing and the feeling is natural.

Sounds like there are a lot of others who are going through this or have gone through it before. Hang in there, I'm told it does get better!

 

[Reds]

The problem with this neediness is its childishness. From the heart, I want someone to pick me up, cuddle me up in a blanket and tell me they're going to sort it all out for me. I wouldn't even mind if I was told I'd been stupid, I just want someone with me.

I feel very much like a child (which I know is inappropriate), and I feel very alone.

I can relate to this 120%, with me it gets really ugly because I wish my therapist to meet those needs, if she doesn't I get mad at her. I know it is wrong but it just happens :(

 

[Rumors]

I generally pick people who are emotionally unavailable to "lean" on. Beware of that abyss. I don't think it is childish at all and I wanted you to know I have the same thoughts! It is nice in theory, but never really works out. Nobody saves us, we just keep cranking out our own strength and persevere!