Sufferer New Here. Extreme Domestic Violence.

[J'aime]

I agree with you. I felt really 'alone', and that's what ade me finally get online and look for forums about the disorder, rather than just reading a dry, cold description of it in some medical journal. It helps to humanize it! Glad you're here :)

 

[Sterre]

Welcome to the forum!

 

[J'aime]

Thank you very much :)

 

[Laxchick22]

I am new here also, and I also didn't think to get support mostly because I felt like well I am not the person with PTSD and so I should just be supportive and not make it about me.

On monday night partner had a moment and then she was not doing well yesterday. I just think I got to a point where I needed to understand PTSD better and take steps to make myself better so I can be supportive of her. I took it personally and found it hard to relax when she is not doing well. Having been a member of the forum I am already gaining a lot of support and comfort and a better understanding.

I hope that you continue to get support and comfort here.

 

[J'aime]

Well, first of all, thank you for caring enough about your partner that you sought help with how to better-handle her disorder! :) A LOT of the healing process involves being surrounded by people (or just a special someone) who understands and is there through the good times and bad.

I can guarantee you, her silence and sadness has nothing to do with you. My fiance used to constantly ask me "What's wrong?" and I wouldn't have any answers for him, because honestly, half the time, zi didn't even know how to explain my own feelings. It's a very brooding disorder that isn't always outwardly obvious, nor are the symptoms necessarily brought about by certain events. I love my fiance with all my heart, and he is a wonderful, loving man. But he sometimes is still convinced HE'S the problem, when in all reality, he is my rock and my hero.

Keep supporting her, for it is precisely what she needs. And thank you for doing so! :)

 

[Laxchick22]

Well thank you for the kind words. I am certainly doing the best I can.

Understand how he feels. Yesterday I asked her a few times what was wrong with her and she said nothing I am fine. Then I realized I was pressuring her and that it can be annoying to be asked a million times if you are really ok. I apologized to her for doing this and told her I was always here and that I as her partner would work on letting it go when she says the first time that she is fine. I will try to continue to relax and not get so anxious when she is upset.

I hope you are doing well. I know that it is a struggle every day but I hope you also know that your fiance loves you very much I am sure. I think we just feel helpless and because we care want to take the pain away.

 

[J'aime]

Oh, undoubtedly, it must be a very helpless feeling. I can't imagine how hard and frustrating it must be. When she is ready to talk, she will talk. Just being there is a LOT. Sometimes I just LOVE a rsndom hug from my fiance...usually it's like he read my mind and knew I was zoned out, off somewhere in a memory. His hugs bring me back to the present where I belong. :) Hugs are some of the best form of therapy! :)

 

[Laxchick22]

Thanks I'll keep that in mind. I always try to show her I love her.I give her hugs and hold her hand sometimes she doesnt seem to want them. So I take my hand away and then she will hug me or whatever the case be. Sometimes she is so distant its like nothing I say or do is right so that can be hard. I was trying to be supportive in our relationship a few months ago and she left me but then came back. She has this thing where she will go to other people but not to me, and has to do things all her self. She always says I can do it myself I say I know you can but I am here for you you don't always have to do it alone.

I am not sure why she pushes me away but I think yesterday I was so afraid that she would push me away again like she did a few months ago and that we would be on the downward spiral again.

Do you get feelings of anxiousness and indecisiveness?

 

[J'aime]

Anxiousness-CHECK! Haha I am on medications for anxieties. The anxiety attacks have gotten sombad that ai have actually sought medical help, thinking I was having a heart attack from the pains in my chest! :( Indecisiveness-Check also! I find that I often just don't have the confidence or strength to trust my own decision-making, so I change my mind ALL the time, or I just simply can't get my head together and focused enough to figure out Step 1. I'm getting better at it, but it's an excruciatingly slow process. Thank goodness I have a very decisive fiance! haha

 

[Laxchick22]

Ok thanks. She was on anti-anixety meds but said they made her feel worse so she has given up on that. I thinks thats how she feels its like she can't really think strait. Well thank you so much for responding back and all of your help. I hope you continue to get comfort here and are doing well. I am glad you have sought help that is awesome!

 

[Pippi]

I am so glad that you and your daughter are out of that situation, and that you are loved and cared for by a wonderful man.

Welcome to the forum! It's a pretty great place.

 

[J'aime]

Thank you! It sure seems to be. My fiance was really supportive when I told him that I had joined an online forum. I've been very hesitant about seeing a therapist since my last session...I was a mess for a week after spilling my guts about my abuse as a child as well as adulthood. I dedided instead to talk to people who understand and are going through it with me, instead of some stranger across a desk who's prying answers out of me. Thanks for your support! I'm here for you as well! :)